WHO DID IT?
by Inuyonas
Summary: Hinata jumped up on the table and pointed out at the crowd of people much like Naruto did in the Chuunin exams. "FESS UP! WHO DID IT?" She screamed.
1. Who did it?

"Oh Boy! I can't wait until we get there guys!"

"Oi! Naruto no Baka! pipe down!" Naruto's head collided with the ground.

" *sigh* Sakura , Naruto does not need to be hit all the time."

"OMG You're so right Sasuke!" Sakura squealed. Once Sasuke started talking she forgot all about Naruto.

Sasuke dragged the unconscious Naruto body as they walked.

Now you're probably wondering where they are going...or what's Sasuke doing there. Well as it turns out, Naruto defeated Akatsuki, Sasuke helped defeat Madara, Sakura healed lots of nnja's and Konan came back and helped beat Akatsuki and Kabuto...

As to what these 16 year olds are doing...Well it appears to be some sort of Ninja banquet going on. This banquet is suppose to be honoring the major Ninja that helped defeat Akatsuki. Since Naruto Defeated Nagato, Kakuzu and made Konan an ally, and ultmately destroyed Madara Uchiha, He was the first major ninja. Sasuke defeated Deidara, Itachi(Who was later revealed as innocent and an S class hero since Itachi was under orders to destroy the Uchiha Clan and since he spared Sasuke and basically formed Sasuke into what he is today),and Zetsu simply because Sasuke could not fathom the idea of Asexual reproduction...poor Zetsu. Shikamaru killed Hidan according to the council which did not make any sense because Hidan is immortal. Meaning Hidan is still alive even right now. He's just beheaded ad buried deep in the ground probably cursing his lungs out. Anyway Shikamaru defeated him so Shikamaru's name was third on the list under Sasuke's. Sakura and Elder Chiyo killed Sasori which again is retarded since Sasori was immortal as well...I take that back. His heart was not immortal. Anyway Sakura's name was fouth. The rest of the Rookie 12 including Sai and the Jounin Senseis...except Asuma, helped kill Madara and the rest so they had a special place.

The sand ninja and the Kazekage were invited aswell. Konan was too.

"There it is!" Naruto miraculously woke up and hurried to the academy building. The banquet was being held there at the bottom floor.

"Come on Sakura hurry up." Sasuke said playfully.

Sakura's heart skipped a beat. When Sasuke came back to the village he had a major personality change. He was actually caring...or as close as he could be.

Naruto was dashing to the academy doors. He came to an abrupt stop when he saw team 8(I think Kurenai's team) standing by the door.

"NARUTO, DUDE!" said Kiba as he ran over and High fived Naruto. Sasuke and Sakura eventually walked up behind Naruto.

"Hey Kiba." Said Sasuke

"Sup Sasuke!" Kiba yelled

"Hi Kiba." Sakura politely said.

"Hello Sakura." He said.

"Greetings team 7" said a stoic emotionles voice from behind Kiba.

"Shino!" Naruto yelled as bounded over to Shino all hyper-like.

"Naruto-kun!" said a female voice almost identical in hyperness as Naruto's.

Naruto turned his head to look at Hinata Hyuuga who was standing next to Shino.

"OMGOMG NARUTO-KUUUUN! IT'S SO TOTALLY AWESOME THAT WE ARE LIKE GETTING HONORED AND STUFF!"

Now I bet you're wondering who said that. It ws none other and the Hyuuga Heiress herself Hinata Hyuuga. Where did her personality come from? Remember when she almost died during the invasion of Rikudo Pein? Well Hinata had an epiphany. To grab life by the bull's horns and ride that shit! Seriously she just started acting different after Naruto defeated Pein.

"I still can't get used to Hinata. It's like if Naruto was a girl...then it would be her." Sasuke said.

"Hinata-chan I know right!" Naruto said

It was like Naruto and Hinata were made for each other. Naruto still remembered what Hinata said to him before Pein Shinra Tensei'ed the hell outta her ass. Naruto decided he would bring it up with her later.

Hinata was a completely different story. She was very carefree and hyper/happy all the time. It was like she was reborn. Her confidence sky rocketed too. She was no longer shy, she was out going and loud...like Ino or Naruto. She too remembered what she said to Naruto during Rikudo Pein's invasion. She was waiting to bring it up later with him or until he brought it up...Young love.

"Okay so let's go in already, I'm tired of this small talk." Kiba said.

They all walked torward the door and Naruto opened it. The six of them ere greeted by a wonderous sight. Two long marvel tables, a giant ballroom, a ginat chandelier on the ceiling and a stage all the way in the bck of the room. There were already people in there. Of course Team 7 and Team 8 went to sit with their respective peers .

They sat in this order from the left in the the long table to the right.

On the side facing away from the doors

Tenten, Ino, Sakura, Hinata, Temari, Moegi,

On the other side facing the kunoichis...and the doors were:

Neji, Kiba, Sasuke,Naruto,Shikamaru, and Konohamaru.

Sitting to the male Ninja's left and the female's rights on the other end of the table were:

Rock Lee, Chouji,Shino, Gaara and Kankurou.

Sitting across from them on the other side of the table were:

Ayame, Matsuri, Hanabi, and Sai.

There were many small round tables surrounding the two large tables. On the the other large tables were the Various older Jounin and Chuunin of the village...and Konan.

On the stage were, Tsunade, Shizune, Koharu and Homura.

Tsunade clapped her hands and gained everyone's attention.

"GREETINGS EVERYONE WHO IS HERE TO CELEBRATE OUR RECENT DEFEAT OF AKATSUKI. I WISH YOU ALL A GOOD LIFE AFTER THIS. AND I ALSO WISH TO STRENGTHEN OUR ALLIANCES WITH AMEKAGURE, AND SUNAGKURE." She spoke so everyone could hear.

"SO WITHOUT FURHTER ADO, MAY I GRACE THE FOOD WITH ITADAKIMASU!"

Everyone grabbed their utensils and wasabout to eat ...until

Suddenly the lights went out!

It was now pitch black!

A high-pitch scream was heard!

The lights came back on!

"MY BOOK! I-IT"S GONE!" One silver haired, Jounin cried.

"MY SAND GOURD! IT'S GONE!" One Kazekage cried.

"MY MAKE-UP- ER WAR PAINT! IT'S GONE" One puppet controlling Ninja cried.

"MY SUNGLASSESS! THEY'RE GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE!" One Shino Aburame said shocking everyone in the room.

"MY GREEN JUMPSUIT! IT'S ORANGE!" One bowl cut ninja said.

All eyes turned torward NAruto.

"N-no it wasn't me! Honest."

"Says you!" Sakura stood up and pointed glaring at Naruto." Everyone knows you like orange!"

"It wasn't him Sakura." Hinata defended her crush.

Naruto looked relieved.

"So who stole those things?" asked Gaara.

"We don't know but we will find out." Naruto said standing up.

Naruto and Hinata smiled at each other goofily. Then spoke in unison...

"YOU ARE NOW ALL SUSPECTS OF-"

They both stood and ripped off their clothes to reveal...Naruto in a black tuxedo with an Orange dress shirt, and Hinata in an Orange silk dress with a purple flower design on it that showed all her curves and orange heels. And forbonus effect they were both wearing monicles...Naruto had two.

"NARUHINA DETECTIVE AGENCY!"

Naruto and Hinata thought the name was awesome and nothing was wrong with it at all. But once they said it and Ebisu had a massive nose bleed and fell unconscious they began to think otherwise.

Hinata then jumped up on the table and pointed out in the air...much like Naruto did in the Chuunin exams.

"SO FESS UP! WHO DID IT?"

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NEW IDEA...TELL ME IF YOU LIKE IT OR NOT...EVEN IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT I WILL STILL WRITE

BUT PLEASE REVIEW


	2. Secrets revealed!

"SO FESS UP! WHO DID IT?" Hinata shouted to all.

Konohamaru jumped up and pointed at Sakura.

"IT WAS HER!! THAT PINK BANSHEE BITCH DID IT!!"

"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU CALL ME?!" Sakura shouted in retaliation."AND WHY WOULD I WANNA STEAL ANYTHING?!"

"Everyone knows you don't like Naruto, so you frame him by painting Rock Lee's suit orange." Konohamaru explained.

"You failed to notice one minor detail Kono." Sakura said.

"What?"

"I DON'T HAVE A F**KIN PAINT BRUSH!!"

"........Touche." Konohamaru said.

"Everyone shut up!" Naruto said."This is our case!! So nobody move!" Naruto said again.

"Right! So as far as we know you are all suspects!" Hinata added still standing on the table.

Naruto turned and glared at Sasuke.

"What?" Sasuke said.

"Where were you the night of the Ninja Banquet?!"

"Dobe....It's still day time....and I'm right here."

"SO!!! ANSWER THE QUESTION!"

"Okay I'll play along..... I was at the banquet."

"Doing what at the banquet?!"

"Eating......"

"So It's true you are the theif?!"

"What, no You didn't even ask me-"

"Admit it!"

"You're not making any-"

"ADMIT IT!!"

"Naruto what makes you think I'm the thief?"

"Simple my dear watson." Naruto pulled out a tobacco pipe from seemingly nowhere and puffed on it.

"You hated Kakashi's closet pervertedness so you snatched his book."

"MY PRECIOUS BOOOOOOOK!!!" Kakashi screamed.

"Then for not being able to finish your match agaisnt Gaara at the Chuunin exams you felt unnjustified and when you attacked the meeting of the 5 kage's and basically man handled all of them you felt unjustified aswell. So you justified yourself by taking his guord. THEN to add insult to injury you erased Kankurou's make-up."

"War paint."

"MY PRECIOUS BOOOOOOOK!!!" Kakashi screamed.

"Whatever.... after that, just because you can't understand Shino and he would have probably noticed you doing the stealing ,you took his sunglasses....Hey what do Shino's eyes look like?"

All heads turn torward Shino....who had his arm covering his eyes."Not a chance."

Naruto turned back to Sasuke.

"And then thats when you replaced Lee's green jumpsuit with an orange one."

"Naruto." Sasuke began."How the hell does your mind work? More importantly how would I undress Lee without him knowing?"

"Simple my dear watson." Hinata added. "Lee, secretly is attracted to Neji and has day dreams about Neji ripping his clothes off and doing_...unyouthful_ things." Hinata shuddered at that thought.

The whole ballroom went quiet.

Neji gasped.

Tenten gasped....and had a nose bleed. Probabaly thinking about Neji and Lee.....

"Is this true Lee?" Neji asked scared out of his mind to find out that his best friend was crushing on him.

Lee was scared youthless.....His secret was out.... oh well

"Um....er....uh..Yes!"

O_o

Neji gasped and choked then coughed then fell unconscious from shock. His head landed on the table with a loud thud.

"Whoa Lee......" Kiba said.

"So you're not attracted to me?" Sakura asked.

"Neji deserves better than you Tenten." Lee said." I mean for crying out loud your father's name is NINE-NINE."

"Lee you don't have a father though." Sakura added.

Tenten could not believe her ears.....Is Lee serious.

"Lee what the hell?! Since when are you gay?" Tenten said

"Simple my dear watson." Naruto said puffing on his pipe.

"WHO THE HELL IS WATSON?!?!" Iruka shouted from the other table.

"MY PRECIOUS BOOOOOOOK!!!" Kakashi screamed.

Naruto smirked."Since Lee told me about that one night stand with Sai."

The whole room gasped.

Sai just smiled.

"This is some sick shit." Shikamaru said.

"Ditto." Temari added.

"But enough about that. BACK TO SASUKE!!" Naruto shouted.

"Naruto it waasn't me."

"Prove it."

"You would have noticed me move since you were sitting next to me."

".........touche."

"This is getting us nowhere." Hinata said sighing.

"The ninja with the biggest group of peers to cover for them would be a prime suspect." Naruto said to Hinata.

"But who has the biggest posse?" Hinata asked.(pronounced Pah-see for those who don't know).

"Don't know."

"I'll find out." Hinata said as she stomped her foot on the table again and pointed.

"WHICH ONE OF YOU SORRY PATHETIC EXCUESES FOR A NINJA HAS THE WIDEST POSSE?!"

Ino stood up.

Naruto slapped his forehead with his palm.

"No Ino, She said POSSE." Naruto said.

Ino blushed and looked embarrassed.

"O-oh....s-sorry I- I thought....never mind." Ino quickly sat back down.

Naruto thought long and hard.

"Okay our next suspect has to be someone we would never dare suspect. Someone who you would think would never steal."

He pointed at Lee.

"ROCK GAY LEE! YOU ARE OUR NEXT SUSPECT!!"

Lee gasped and fainted much like Neji.

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Please review please...lol

Also....Did anyone get the POSSE joke? If you didn't Ino thought Hinata said "PUSSY"


	3. Damn Lee

Rock Lee gasped then fainted much like Neji.

"NO NO!! WAKE YO NOT SO SERET GAY ASS UP!!" Hinata screamed walking across the table torward Lee.

Naruto appeared in behind the unconscious body of Rock Lee and yelled.

"NEJI IS BUTT NAKED ON THE DANCE FLOOR!!!"

Rock Lee shot up straighter then Jaraiya when Tsunade is around..(lol).

"WHERE!!!!!????!"

He looked to see Neji still unconscious.....and fully clothed.

"Damn."

"THATS RIGHT!!!! NOW WHERE WERE YOU THE NIGHT OF THE NINJA BANQUET?!??!" Naruto said.

"Dobe it's still day time."

"SHUDDUP SASUKE!"

"I-I DON'T KNOW!!!" Rock Lee yelled.

"Lee calm down." Tenten said" You're right here."

"Ok...I'm here."

"DOING WHAT??!" Naruto asked again

"N-nothing....."

"TRYING TO SEDUCE NEJI!?!? HUH?"

"OKAY IT"S TRUE!!!!"

"SO YOU'RE THE THEIF?!?!"

"NO!"

"ADMIT IT!"

"I'M NOT TH-"

"ADMIIIIIIIIIIT !!!!!!!!!!!!!" Naruto dragged out.

"How in the world is lee the theif?" Ino asked.

"Simple my dear Watson." Hinata said puffing on a tobacco pipe she pulled from god knows where..or Kami.

"Rock Lee is gay so he hated Kakashi's Icha Icha books."

"MY PRECIOUS BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOKKSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Then in the match against Gaara in the Chuunin exams Gaara literally crushed you and you wanted revenge on him so you took his sand gourd. The because you didn't like Kankurou's make up-"

"War paint." Kankurou corrected.

"You wiped it off and because you think Shino's eyes are beautiful behind those glasses, you took them. When you wanted the blame off of you you wiped your own jump suit orange." Hinata finished.

"............That makes so much sense." Shikamaru said.

"Lee would not dare take my gourd." Gaara said.

Lee looked at Gaara with a strange look.

"How do you know?" Naruto asked.

Lee stood up.

"No Gaara-kun! They don't deserve to know anything."

"No Lee.....it's time we came out of the weapon's closet."

All eyes fell on Gaara.

"Lee and I ....... are having an affair."

O_o

O_o

"Weapons closet?" Tenten said.

Everybody was absolutely floored by this.

Matsuri was horrified.

"Gaa-kun? say it aint so."

"It is so."

"I knew it!" Matsuri screamed."I thought what we had was special!!!! but I guess not....Thats why I had to be cautious."

She got up and walked over to Shikamaru.

"I've been having a secret affair with Konoha's notorious shadow user."

She kissed Shika on the lips passionately.

The room gasped.

"What the hell is going in the world?" Kiba said.

Shizune fell on her butt.

Temari saw red.

"SO IT'S LIKE THAT SHIKA?!?!?!?!"

"WAIT Temari I can explain-"

Temari wasn't listening as she decked him knocking him out cold.

"M-matsuri!? How could you?" Gaara said.

"HOW COULD I?!?!YOU'RE FUCKING ROCK FUCKING-GAY LEE!!!!!"

"WE'RE GETTING OFF TOPIC!!" Naruto screamed.

"Right!" Hinata confirmed." So Lee is ruled out."

"Who ever did it must be an exceptionally cunning ninja." Naruto said.

"Right someone who is smart but doesn't want anyone to know." Hinata added.

They both glared at Shikamaru.

"SHIKAMARU!!"

"Oh f**k"

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lol Review please

Thanks to reviews i got


	4. Sai, wtf!

"OH F**K!" Shikamaru miraculously woke up after hearing his name.

Naruto jumped right in his face.

"WHERE WERE YOU THE NIGHT OF THE BANQUET?!"

"Dobe it's still day time......do you have A.D.D or something?"

"SHUDDUP SASUKE!!"

"Trouble-some, I was here at the banquet....with everyone else."

"DOING WHAT?!" Nartuo screamed.

"Sleeping.....eating......saying stuff was troublesome....."

"SO YOU'RE THE THIEF??!?!"

"No Naruto I'm not."

"ADMIT IT!"

"I'm not-"

"ADMIIIIIT IIIITT!!!!!!!!!"

"*sigh* What makes you think that I'm the theif?"

"Simple my dear watson." Hinata said as she shushined right next to Naruto and in front of the sitting Shikamaru.

Hinata took two puffs of that retarded pipe that she gets from nowhere then began to speak.

"Your Sensei , Asuma had an affair with mine, Kurenai-sensei and Kurenai-sensei thinks Kakashi's books are derrogatory torwards women, so you felt obligated to eliminate The Icha Icha."

"MY PRECIOUS BOOOOOKS!!!" Kakashi was slowly loosing his mind evey time his book was mentioned.

"Then when Gaara tried to Kill Lee in the hospital room and you and Naruto saved him, you still held a grudge against Gaara for attacking a leaf shinobi. As for Shino you wanted to see what his eyes looked like"

Gaara smiled at Lee.

"I'm so glad I didn't kill you back then, Youthful-kun." Gaara said affectionately.

"That doesn't stop you in the bedroom though." Sai said actually speaking for the first time.

O_o

"What the hell? Did you sleep with Sai Gaara?" Lee asked.

Gaara looked mortified._'Damn damn damn damn.....how I wish I was my old self....everyone would be dead now.'_

"WHAT THE F**K GAARA?!?!? HOW MANY GUYS DID YOU F**K WHILE YOU WERE WITH ME?!" Matsuri screamed.

"I can honestly say I didn't use to sleep with Sai." Gaara said.

Lee sighed in relief.

"....Because I still do."

O_o

Lee gasped and could not breathe anymore.....it was like he was suffocating...from shock.

Matsuri couldn't believe it. Her boyfriend was seeing to guys!! TWO!!!

Sai just sat there grinning his usual grin.

"This is sooooo dam Troublesome." Shikamaru said.

Ino couldn't believe her ears.....she had a crush on sai....but not anymore.

"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THE ROOKIE 12?!" Konohamaru screamed.

Moegi nodded in agreement.

Neji was still knocked out.

Nobody noticed Chouji taking everyone's plate.

"STOP GETTING OFF TOPIC!!" Hinata yelled randomly.

"Naruto." Shikamaru said." I didn't do it."

"WHY SHOULD I BELIEVE YOU?!"

"Because when the lights went off I went to sleep."

"It's true....I can vouch for him." Kiba said.

"Damn...this is getting to weird......" Hinata said.

"I know Hina." Naruto said. "The next suspect needs to have clear motive. Someone who needs a reason to do all of these things."

"Yea someone who would be the last person to suspect...."

Naruto and Hinata both pointed at someone and spoke in unison.

"TSUNADE/BAA-CHAN YOU ARE OUR NEXT SUSPECT!!"

".....I'm gonna need alot more Sake to get through the next chapter."

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lol please please review.....the next chapter might be longer if you do


	5. Really Sai?

"TSUNDADE/BAACHAN!!! YOU ARE OUR NEXT SUSPECT!"

"I'm gonna need alot more Sake to get through this." Said the fifth Hokage.

Naruto appeared on stage in front of Tsunade, Shizune, Koharu and Homura via Hiraishin in a flash of yellow light. (Yes he can do that now).

"WHERE WERE YOU DURING THE NIGHT OF THE NINJA BANQUET!!??"

"Dobe....I don't know how many times I have to tell you.....it's still Daytime.....Are your parents related or something?" Sasuke called out.

"You know Naruto, I bet alot of fans out there want me to hit you right now." Tsunade said

Naruto froze with fear.

"But I'm not gonna hit you."

Naruto relaxed.

"Thanks Baachan......NOW ANSWER THE F**KIN QUESTION!!!!!"

Tsunade twitched.

"I was at the banquet...and still am."

"DOING WHAT!?!?!?!"

"Trying not to beat you into the ground."

".........."

Hinata appeared via Shushin next to Naruto.

"Naruto maybe you should let me interrogate her....I'm the smarter one." She said to her crush.

"Fine Hinata......" Naruto pouted.

"Thanks...okay where were you? Ah yes.....ANSWER THE F**KIN QUESTION!!!"

"Pass that." Tsunade said.

"DOING WHAT?!?!" Hinata shouted.

"Getting drunk off my ass."

"SO YOU ADMIT YOU'RE THE THIEF?!?!"

"What? I didn-"

"ADMIT IT!!!!" Naruto joined back in.

"I can't-"

"ADMIIIIIIIIIIT IIIIIITTTTT YOU SAGGY OLD WHORE!!!!!!"

_THWACK!!!_

Hinata found her self crushed into the wall way on the other side of the ball room.

"Lady Tsunade!!!!" Shizune screeched.

Hinata coughed and had Anime swirls in her eyes as she was stoll embedded in the wall.

"I-I didn't think she would hit anyone else but Naruto...S-stupid Stereotypes..." Hinata said as she fell and collapsed on the floor.

"Hinata!" Naruto said.

Tsunade was still in punching position.

"Why do you think I'm the theif?" Tsunade said as she looked at Naruto.

"It's simple my dear Watson." Naruto said fidgeting with BOTH his monicles...and puffing on that damn pipe that even the author can't explain where he got it from.

"You hated Jaraiya's Pervertedness with a passion so it's only natural to hate Kakashi-sensei's books." Naruto stated.

"MY PRECIOUS BOOKS!!!!" Kakashi fell on the floor and started to stop drop and roll.

"Anywho......As for Gaara, after he crushed Lee's arm and leg in the Chuunin exams you found it very difficult to fix Lee's body, So you swore vengeance against Gaara for making you work so hard. As for Kankurou, you heard that he was close with Lady Chiyo and during the second Great Shinobi war You and she battled with powerful medicine type jutsu things and you began to hate her.....so you wipe his-"

"War paint." Kankurou added before Naruto could finish.

".......Make up off."

"Damnit Naruto...."

"As for Shino....you just don't like high collars and shades..."

"IT'S TRUE!!!" Tsunade bawled.

"Lee had so many bone fragments........Chiyo had so many ways to make poisons.......Kankurou had so much make up.........but I didn't do it."

Gasped could be heard through out the room.

"WHY SHOULD WE BELIEVE YOU!?!?!" Naruto screamed.

"Because as much as I hated Kakashi's books....I didn't take them."

"Why?"

Kakashi stood up from his rolling and shouted.

"Tsunade-sama You don't have to explain yourself....I believe you."

"No Kaka-kun...it's time we let Pet tora out of the bag..."

"......"

"..Kaka-kun? Isn't that spanish? She called Kakashi-sensei Shit-kun...." Sasuke said.

"Kakashi Hatake and I.....are secretly Seeing each other."

O_o

The whole room went quiet....until-

_SMACK!!!_

Kakashi found himself nursing his cheek.

"YOU SICK BASTARD!" Kurenai screamed.

"Nai-chan I can explain!"

"WHAT COULD YOU POSSIBLY SAY TO ME AFTER THAT?!?! I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME!!"

O_o

"Wait wait await....Since when is Kurenai seeing Kakashi?" Kiba asked.

_SMACK!!_

Kakashi found himself yet again nursing his cheek. He looked over to the side of him...

"SO THAT'S HOW IT IS HUH??!!?" One Anko Mitarashi said.

The crowd ws absolutely floored by this.

"Kakashi-sensei........WAIT A GO DOG!!" Gai said shocking everyone in the room ....again....by his lack of the word youthful.

"SO YOU WERE SEEING ANKO TOO?!" Tsunade said.

"Wait wait.....I thought that it was over between us Anko?" Kakashi said.

"Why would you say that?"

"Because after you told me you loved me and our one night of Icha passion you said you just wanted to be friends. And thats why when we hung out after that I wasn't flirting with you anymore."

"Now I understand why you haven't touched me in a while.....I thought you just were'nt one for public affection. But I don't remember anyone night of passion though?"

"Wow Kakashi-sensei.....you must have been incredibly bad." Tenten said.

"SHUT UP WHORE-WHORE!" Lee shouted.

"You're just mad cuz I have Neji and you don't."

Lee sulked.

Neji was still pretty much unconscious.

"Actually Kakashi-sensei was not bad at all."

All heads in the room turned to the voice that said this.

"SAI?!" Naruto said.

"OH DEAR GOD!" Kakashi said."Sai....what are you saying?"

SAi smiled. "That one night of Passion that you had with Anko....was actually me in henge. You see after Anko told you she loved you she got all embarrassed and left when she excused her self to the restroom. I was there at the restaurant y'all were at. I felt bad for Anko so I helped.....I henged my self and .......Rocked your world so to speak."

At this point everyone's jaw was on the ground. Hinata recovered only to find her jaw also on the ground.

"Whoa whoa whoa........So you mean I......with......and..........mouth............hair....screamed........Anbu sword?" Kakashi couldn't fully express what he wanted.

"HOLD THE HELL ON!!!! WE ARE GETTING OFF TOPIC!!! Naruto shouted.

Hinata recovered her jaw and walked torward Naruto.

"Okay Ruto."

Naruto blushed at the nick name.

"If Tsunade didn't do it.......who did?" Hinata asked as she was now besides him looking back out at the crowd from the stage.

"I'll put all my money and ramen on Sai...If it's not Sai then you STILL can't have the ramen."

lol reviews would be appreciated


	6. The threat of Sai

"SAI!!!" Naruto screamed and hopped off stage.

"WE KNOW YOU DID IT!!!" Hinata screamed activating her Byakugan.

Sai stood up and bolted through the academy doors with god-like speed.

"QUICK AFTER HIM NARUTO!!!" Hinata shouted.

"How do you know he doesn't have to pee?"

"......Naruto this might be the only time I say this in my life but........If you don't run after that sick sick bastard, then I'm gonna KICK YOUR ASS SO BAD, YOU WON'T REMEMBER WHAT RAMEN IS!!" Hinata shouted.

Naruto Hiraishined outta there. Hinata dashed through the doors as welll

"...........There gone..." Sasuke said.

"I have a feeling Sai didn't do it..." Shikamaru said....Oh how right he was....

Naruto and Hinata were running after Sai.

"SAI SLOW DOWN!!!! MY MONICLES ARE FALLING OFF!!!" Naruto yelled.

"NO!" Sai shouted and jumped to a random rooftop and began ninja dashing across other ones.

"Damn him.....gay people are fast!" Naruto said. Soon the NaruHina detective agency took to the roofs aswell.

"Sai Stop running!" Hinata yelled

"NEVER!!!"

"This will stop him! Kage-buushin no jutsu!!" Naruto yelled. In a puff of smoke 10 more suit wearing, 2 monicle having Naruto's showed up.

Mean while......

"....So who did do it?" Shikamaru asked.

"I think it was Moegi." Hanabi said.

"LISTEN YOU HYUUGA WHORE, JUST BECAUSE YOU LIKE KONOHAMARU DOESN'T MEAN I'LL JUST STEP OUT THE WAY!!" Moegi shouted.

"How dare you talk to me that way?! I'm a Hyuuga.!The clan with the best Doujuttsu in the world!"

"Er....Sorry to disappoint you Hanabi...but my doujutsu is the best in the world.....only second to the Rinnegan." Sasuke added.

Hiashi glared from the Clan head table.

"The sharingan pales in comparison to the Byakugan's vision Sasuke." Hanabi said smirking while activating her bloodline limit.

Sasuke scoffed."Please Hanabi, Your weak little Eye can't even begin to see past my Sharingan. Let alone my Mangekyou Sharingan...or the double Mangekyou Sharingan, and don't even get me started on what Madara taught me about even higher levels of it."

Hiashi and the Hyuuga elders stood straight up angrier than you could imagine.

"That's it brat....You're time alive is over."Hiashi said activating his Byakugan.

Sasuke smirked evilly

Sai was trapped in an alley way.

"Alright(pant) Sai, We got you." Naruto said out-of-breath-like.

"Yeah so don't try any funny business." Hinata said

"So tell us Sai... Why did you do it?" Naruto asked

"Do what?" Sai asked.

Naruto twitched.

"STEAL THE DAMN STUFF!!!" Naruto screamed.

"I didn't steal the stuff."

"......."

"........"

"........So why the hell did run away?" Hinata asked.

"Because I thought Naruto was trying to rape me." Sai said.

"And again I ask you, if you thought that, then why were you running?" Hinata said.

"Wait Wait wait so you had us running around town, jumping over shit, dodging stuff and using chakra because you felt like it?" Naruto said.

"YERP!" Sai said.

"You are so going to die." Naruto said going into Kyuubi mode minus the tails...so his face just changed.

Sai smiled and took out his note pad and chakra pen.

"Naruto, you know animals aren't the only thing that I can draw right?"

"Your point?"

Sai suddenly drew Naruto. So a Sai's drawing version of Naruto stood before them.

"Ha!! You think I can't beat myself? I'll kick my ass!!! believe it!!" Naruto proclaimed

Suddenly Sai drew Sasuke.

"I'll take on the bitch." Hinata said.

"Thats flattering Hinata but I won't be fighting you." Sai said.

The Naruto and Sasuke Sai drew faced each other.

"What are thery doing?" asked Naruto asked.

"Time for a jutsu that's forbidden in all the author's stories.

The drawn Naruto and Sasuke ripped their clothes off.

"Saaaaaiiiiiii......." Naruto said worried.

Sai smirked."Yaoi no jutsu."

O_o

Part1 of two.....reviews would be appreciated lol


	7. Sai's innocent!

Sai smirked. "Yaoi no Jutsu."

O_o

* * *

an hour later.......................

* * *

Naruto's arms were slung across Hinata's and Sai's shoulders as they carried him back to the academy building. He had to be carried because of Sai's super quadriple S ranked forbidden Jutsu.

"S-s-so....m-m-much......i-i-i-in that tiny little hole........S-sai....I truly underestimated you.." Naruto stuttered out.

Hinata was a whole different aspect. She had hearts in both of her eyes and blood coming from both of her nostrils.....She was completely in love with that new Jutsu.

"Sai you do realize this is the last time I'll let you touch Naruto-kun right?" Hinata said.

"This is all the time I need."

Naruto paled.

"Look we're almost there." Hinata pointed at the up coming academy building.

"If only I had a little more time with Naruto-chan....*sigh*" Sai said sighing.

Naruto suddenly felt better and hopped off of their shoulders.

"I'm fine now!!!!" Naruto screamed hysterically.

They finally were at the buildings front door.

"So if SAi didn't do it then who did?" Naruto wondered.

"This is a very interesting mystery." Hinata said.

"If it helps any I heard some snickering across from me when the lights went out." Sai said.

"......."

"......."

"AND NOW YOU TELL US!!?!" Hinata screamed.

"SAI YOU BASTARD!!" Naruto said as he pushed the academy doors open.........to find a very interesting sight.

"WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED??!" Hinata screamed.

Their were bodies of Hyuuga clan memebers sprawled all through out the room. Most on the floor, some on the tables, two on the ceiling...etc.

"SASUKE WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO?!!" Naruto screamed.

"!!!" Sasuke was sitting back in his seat.

"WHAT THE HELL?! WHY DID YOU AUTOMATICALLY BLAME ME?!"

"I walk into a room with unconscious bodies of clan members in it........and there is an Uchiha in here.....WHO THE HELL ELSE SHOULD I BLAME?!?!?" Naruto shouted back.

Sasuke stood up.

"AND WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSE TO MEAN?!"

"Hey all I'm saying is clan brutality runs in your family, that's all."

"He has a point." Shikamaru added.

"ENOUGH!" Hinata shouted earning everyone's attention.

"It turns out Sai is innocent." Hinata explained.

"Big shocker....." Shikamaru said sarcastically.

"INNOCENT MY ASS!!! DID YOU SEE THAT YAOI NO JUTSU?!" Naruto yelled.

After he said this all the females in the room were listening intently.

Anko stood up.

"As a senior member of the interrogation department, I request a private session with Sai." She said.

"DOWN." Tsunade commanded.

Anko complied.

"Anyway, the culprit had to have some motive. It also had to be someone highly unlikely to do this." Hinata said.

"Right, someone who isn't afraid to take risks......" Naruto added.

Suddenly it clicked

"INO YAMANAKA!!! YOU ARE OUR NEXT SUSPECT!" The NaruHina detective agency said.


	8. Goddamnit Sai

"INO YAMANAKA YOU ARE OUR NEXT SUSPECT!!!!!" Naruto screamed.

"AAHH!!" Ino screamed.

"Why did you scream?" Hinata asked.

"Cuz whenever you accuse someone they have a dirty secret that gets exposed." Ino said.

"Do you have a dirty secret?" Hinata said.

"No."

"Okay then." Said Naruto. "Now...........WHERE WERE YOU ON THE NIGHT OF THE NINJA-NINJA BANQUET?!?!!"

"AAAHHH!!!"

"ANSWER THE DAMN QUESTION!!"

"Dobe....it's still daytime damnit. I bet even with the Sharingan you couldn't see how stupid you are." Sasuke added.

"I-I WAS HERE!"

"DOIN WHAT!?!?!?"

"BANQUETING!!!!"

"WHAT ELSE!!?!?"

"N-NOTHING!!"

"SO YOU'RE THE THIEF!!?!?"

"WHAT!!? NO!!!!"

"ADMIT IT!!"

"I'M NOT-"

"AAAADMIIIIIIT IIIITT!!!!!"

"OKAY OKAY IT'S TRUE!!!!! I WAS TRYING TO SEDUCE SHIKAMARU!!"

O_o

Shikamaru looked shocked. Matsuri looked angry. Gaara looked confused. Lee looked gay. Neji looked unconscious.....cause he was.

"Wait wait, so you're not interested in Sasuke?" Sakura said.

"In all honesty Sakura I think you're sexier than him."

O_o

O_o

The crowd was absolutely flabbergasted by this.

The guys had a nose bleed. Jaraiya's spirit appeared by Naruto and had a nose bleed.

"PERVY SAGE?!?!? YOU'RE SUPPOSE TO BE DEAD!!!"

"AND MISS THIS? EVEN THE GRAVE CAN'T KEEP ME AWAY!!!!........................BOOBS!!!!" Jaraiya's spirit said.

Sakura gasped.

"So you don't like me no more right?" Sasuke said.

"I didn't say all that now..."

"So you're bi? and you like Sakura, Sasuke, and Shikamaru?" Hinata asked

"Yes."

"Ino.....You are so troublesome...I suspected it after we had sex that time." Shiikamaru said.

"YOU F**KED HER!?!" Temari screeched.

"DON'T YELL AT HIM!!!" MATSURI shouted glaring at Temari.

"WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!?!" Temari said.

"I DATED YOUR BROTHER BITCH!!!" Matsuri bitch slapped Temari.

The crowd gasped. Kankurou coward in fear.

"Oh Hell no." Temari brought out her giant fan.

"What now? you gonna blow me away with your fan? Blowing must be your specialty." Matsuri teased.

"RAGH!" Temari bitch slapped Matsuri...with her fan. So Matsuri flew across the room.

"Shikamaru I did not have sex with you." Ino said clearly confused.

"Don't play the dumb blonde, you dumb blonde." Shika said again.

"I really am clueless." Ino said.

"Well I can assure you, that you wouldn't want to." Sai said.

O_o

"Everytime Sai speaks, things get wrong as hell." Konohamaru said.

"I used to look up to the rookie 12." Mogi added. "What the hell was I thinking?"

Shikamaru was sweating bullets. He couldn't believe his ears.

Unfortunately Neji woke up and heard what Sai said.....and promptly passed out again...............So mentioning this was really pointless

"Again like what happened to Anko, Ino got scared and ran after she agreed to screw you..I was walking when I heard your conversation. Then I saw Ino running and I felt bad....so I henged.....and lets just say I learnt what clan has the smallest penis in Konoha." Sai said.

Ouch........

The crowd erupted in laughter...

"Damn....." Naruto said.

"Sai you sick, sick, little man....I don't think we can get through this chapter any more because of that." Hinata said.

Oh how right she was.

Review pretty please?


	9. Wow Tenten

"Sai what the hell man?" Kiba asked."You are a sick and twisted individual. You rival Orochimaru in nastiness."

"Oh I can assure you he is no way near as nasty as I." Sai said smugly.

"TEN-TEN'S FACE IS NASTY!!!" Lee shouted standing up.

"THATS WHY NEJI'S MINE!!!"Tenten said back.

"SHUT UP SLUT-SLUT!!!" Lee sat back down and pouted.

"We're gettig off topic again!!" Naruto said.

"Okay I didn't do it. All I heard was a low moan type sound from Tenten when the lights went out."

O_o

Naruto and Hinata glared at Tenten so hard that if looks could kill she would be decapitated. Tenten cringed.

"THAT WAS HER SLUT SIDE COMIN OUT!! I GUESS IT'S TRUE!! THE FREAKS DO COME OUT AT NIGHT!!!!" Lee shouted.

"What the hell Lee?" Sasuke began."It's still day time you green fag. Don't tell me Naruto no Dobe has rubbed off on you?"

"Oh I wish." Lee said.

O_o

"Ino you wait until we're more than four chapters in to tell us that?" Hinata said.

"WHY ARE BLONDES SO GOD DAMN DUMB?!?" Naruto said.

"..........."

"............"

"............."

"You know." Tsunade began. "I would take offense to that, if he wasn't blonde himself.....and yet I still am a little pissed he just proves the stereotypes about blondes correct."

"Well Tenten." Hinata said walking over to her. "TALK!"

"W-what do you wanna know?" Tenten said nervously.

Naruto appeared on the table in front of Tenten.

"WHERE WERE YOU ON THE NIGHT OF THE NINJA BANQUET!??!?"

Sasuke sighed. "Damnit dobe! Don't you see the sunlight shining through the window?"

"I WAS SITTING HERE!" Tenten screamed.

"SO YOU"RE THE THEIF!!" Hinata shouted.

"NO!"

"YES!"

"NO!"

"YES!"

"NO!"

"ADMIT IT!!!" Naruto jumped in. "You hate Kakashi's books, you hate Kankurou's make up and you hate Gaara. You also hate Shino and Lee is gay."

"I'M INNOCENT!"

"ABOUT AS INNOCENT AS SAI, NOW ADMIIIT IIIIIITTTT!!!" Naruto anime shouted at Tenten.

"OKAY!!!!! IT WAS SASUKEEEEEEE!!!!!!! HE GROPED ME WHEN THE LIGHTS WENT OUT!!!!" Tenten screamed with anime tears comin from her eyes.

O_o

Sakura gasped.

Lee gasped...homosexual-like.

Neji woke up.

Chouji was on his 67th millionth plate.

Shikamaru woke up.

The sun did not go down yet.

Sasuke activated his sharingan out of nervousness and started sweating.

"SASUKE-TEME!??" Naruto said."SO WHO THE HELL IS THE THEIF?!?!"

"Dobe don't listen to her.....It can be night time if you want Naruto."

"WHY ARE WE IGNORING HYUUGA PEOPLE'S UNCONSCIOUS BODIES ALL AROUND THE ROOM!?" Iruka said from the other table.

_SMACK!!_

"THAT'S FOR THE HYUUGA CLAN BITCH!!" Hinata had just bitch slapped Sasuke. So hard his left sharingan eye deactivated.

"What did Sasuke do?" Neji asked.

Tenten turned red.

Sasuke finally activated both his sharingans and looked dead in Tenten's eyes.

"HEY!!! NO MANGEKYOU SHARINGANING!!" Naruto said still standing on the table.

"MY BOOOK!!!" Kakashi screamed.

"What the fuck? They didn't even mention it." Konan said. (bout time she spoke)

"I read it with my mangekyou sharingan once."

"......."

"......"

"......"

"....weirdo."

Tenten broke her gaze away from Sasuke's.

"No Sasuke-kun,I have to tell them."

The whole crowd listened intently. The thoughts were filling the air with things like:

_'Is she seeing the uchiha?'_

_'Sasuke's screwing the weapons mistress?!?!'_

_'SCORE!!'_

_'Hinata-chan is soooo sexy....LIKE RAMEN!'_

_'I wish Chouji would move his fatass..'_

_'I hope to kami that Sai isn't involved this time.'_

Tenten stood up.

"I have been having an affair with Sasuke."

The crowd gasped.

Sakura smacked Sasuke.

"What the hell? Why'd you hit me Sakura? We're not together."

"But-I-but-....." Sakura blushed."I want you so bad Sasuke......"

Suddenly Lee jumped over the table and Kissed Neji.

"YOSH BITCH!!" Lee screamed after he kissed Neji.

Neji promptly passed out again.

"LEE WHAT THE HELL?" Tenten scremed.

"NEJI'S FREE NOW!! YOU'RE F**KING SASUKE!!"

"IT IS CLEAR TO ME THAT YOU ALL HAVE F**KING LOST YOUR F**KING MINDS!!!" Hinata said fixing her monicle.

"Quite." Naruto said fidgeting with his two monicles.

"I'm not involved." Sai said.

"The next victim need a clear motive." Naruto said.

"Indeed." Hinata said.

"But who?" Naruto said.

Naruto and Hinata turned and glared at someone. They pointed then spoke.

"SHINO ABURAME!!! YOU ARE OUR NEXT SUSPECT!!"

Shino just sat there with his arm covering his eyes from view.

lol please review!


	10. Shino, Please tell me you didn't

Naruto appeared in front of Shino on the top of the table again. (He's always standing on tables...smh.)

"WHERE WERE YOU THE NIGHT OF THE NINJA-NINJA BANQUET?!?" He said pointing dramatically at Shino.

"Dobe........The sun is clearly still out. What is your IQ? Negative 221....thousand?"

"SHUDDUP SASUKE!!" Hinata said.

"ANSWER THE QUESTION SHINO!!!! IF THAT IS YOUR REAL NAME!!!!" Naruto screamed.

"BUZZ."

O_o?

......O_o?

Shino pulled his hood over his eyes so they were not visible.

"My apologies, but when I don't have my shades I get ......._different"_

"Oooookay?" Kiba said.

"Before the NaruHina detective agency presents me with ludicrous accusations as to why they assume I am the culprit, why don't we use the crowd as a type of jury?" Shino suggested.

"Thats crazy!" Naruto began. "But it just might work..."

Hinata jumped on the table with Naruto.

"OKAY LISTEN UP!! WHAT ARE THE CROWDS THOUGHTS TOWARD THE CASE?! WHO DO YOU THINK DID IT?!" Hinata shouted to the crowd.

Here are some responses she got back:

"SAI!! I DON'T LIKE HIM!!!"

"KIBA!!, HE'S SUSPICIOUSLY QUIET!!" Kiba then growled.

"NEJI!!! NOBODY CAN STAY UNCONSCIOUS FOR THAT LONG!!" Neji's eyebrow twitch...he's still knocked out mind you.

"IT WAS JARAIYA'S GHOST!! I BET HE'S AT THE HOT SPRINGS NOW WITH SHINO'S SHADES TRYING TO BE INCOCKNITO!!..............I KNOW WHAT I SAID!!"

"IT WAS KONOHAMARU!!! SCARFS ARE EEEEEEVIIIIIIL!!!!"

"IT WAS UDON!! HE'S NOT EVEN IN THIS FIC!!!"

"SASUKE IS SO FUCKING HOOOOOOOT!!"

"H-help me." (This was a hyuuga clan member in pain still semi unconscious)

"SASUNARU FOREVER!!!" Sasuke activated Amaterasu and burned this person away......yes away...

"NARUSASU FOR LIFE!!" Naruto Rasenshuriken'ed this person through the wall.

"NARUSAKU ALL THE WAY!!" Hinata Jyuuken hit this person in the eye virtually blnding them. Unfortunately Hinata used to much force and pushed Chakra into their brain...and killed this person......which was a Hyuuga clan member female.

"Hinata I would expect that from Sasuke." Naruto said.

"Damnit Naruto it was my BROTHER!!" Sasuke screamed.

"Well that was a total waste." Naruto said.

"Well Shino, They said your name." Hinata said.

"Are you serious. They mentioned every name but mine." Shino retaliated.

"Don't try your bug mumbo jumbo on me bitch!" Hinata said.

"BUZZ."

....O_o?

"Sorry, gomen." Shino apologized.

"Well whats your dirty secret?" Naruto asked."Kami knows yours would be the most interesting."

"I do not have secrets."

"GOT DAMNIT I CAN'T TAKE THE PRESSURE!!!" One moegi said standing up.

"LOVE ME LEE!!!" Gaara said.

"NEVER!! YOU LOVE SAI!!"

"NO THATS NOT TRUE!!! I LOVE SAND!!!....AND YOUUU!!!"

"NEVEEEEER!!!!!"

"Then I must kill Neji." Gaara spoke.

O_o

"NO!!!" Tenten and Lee said.

"If I can't have you, then nobody will." Gaara said as Sand appeared out of thin air and headed torward the unconscious Neji.

"HOLD ON!!!!!" Naruto roared in his demonic voice. Everyone stopped what they were doing.

"What are you talking about Moegi?" Naruto asked.

"I CAN'T TAKE IT!!! SHINO, BABY, THEY HAVE TO KNOW!!" Moegi screamed. "I'VE BEEN SCREWING SHIIIIINO!"

O_o

O_O!!!!

O_o?

O_O!!!!!!

Kiba fell out of his chair.

Sai smiled

Sasuke choked on his chicken.

Chouji choked on his plate.

Ino stopped staring at Sakura.

Sakura stopped looking at Sasuke's ..........yea.

Konohamaru was awestruck. He jumped out of his chair and pointed at Moegi.

"WHAT THE FUCK!?!?!? YOU SKANK-SLUT-WHORE!!!!" He said dramatically.

Moegi was in tears now.

"I'm sorry Kono, but Shino was just so..............HOT!"

Hanabi smiled deviously.

"I can't believe you Moegi. I thought what we had was special." Konohamaru said.

"I'm so so sorry. Can you forgive me?"

"You know, I think I can......because I expected this from you. No wonder you have an insect collection." Hanabi then got up and walked over to him smiling all the way.

"This is why a ninja is prepared always." He said as he took Hanabi, bent her backwards alittle and kissed her uber passionately.

O_o!!

"What the hell are the 12 year olds talking about?" Shikamaru said as he just woke up.

"Thats right Moegi, Hanabi has been my bitch all along. She told me about you and Shino."

"Thats right baby." Hanabi said stroking Konohamru's chin. "Who's your bitch?"

"HANABI!!!! I can't believe you would switch sides!" Moegi said.

"Switch sides?" Naruto wondered.

Hanabi started sweatng. "W-what are you talking about?" She asked nervously.

Moegi stood up. "Don't play dumb, brunette. I'm talking about this." Moegi then rushed over to Hanabi and french kissed her.

O_O!!!

O_O!!!

O_O!!!

O_O!!!

Jaraiya's ghost had a nose bleed. "HELL YEAH!!!! THIS IS WHAT I LIVE FOR!!!!" It said.

"But you're dead." Naruto said.

"Says you." Jaraiya said defiantly.

"But you are clearly a ghost. You have no legs. Just that white crap like casper had."

"This coming from the guy who can't tell if it's day or night." Jaraiya's ghost said again.

"This is starting to get a little weird now don't you think?" Anko said to Kurenai.

"Where were you in Chapter 2?" Kurenai said back.

Shino stood up.

"So Moegi you had an affair with Hanabi and Konohamaru, Kono had an affair with you and Hanabi and Hanabi had one with you and Kono.......Moegi you cheater." Shino said.

Moegi smiled sadistically.

"Shino you should not be talking. Remember that day we made passionate sex-love in my bed? Well One of my ninja abilities is to detect chakra and whoever's chakra you have been around and what part of the body Chakra spent the most time at."

"Your point?" Shino said.

"Tell me why that day, you had Sakura's mouth Chakra around your penis!!"

O_O!!!!

O_O!!!!!

O_O!!!!!

Sasuke slapped Sakura.

"PAY BACK WHORE!!!"

Ino slapped Sakura.

"You've been sleeping around?!"

Hinata slapped Sakura.

"NARUTO'S MINE BITCH!!"

Lee slapped Sakura.

"Wtf Lee? I thought you were gay?" Sasuke said.

".............Sakura's a girl?" Lee said

"I mean she really has no chest what-so-ever." Ayame slapped Kiba.

"Whoa......I need a break. This is just way to much to take in on one chapter." Naruto

LOL PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW.


	11. Sasuke's secret

Hinata was super shocked. Her little Sister who was 12 years old, was having sex with boys AND girls!!

"Hanabi, you are soooo lucky that father is still unconscious." Hinata said.

"WHat ever Hinata-nichan"

"So since Shino obviously ddn't do it, who did?" Hinata asked Naruto as they both jumped off the table.

"IT WAS PERVY SAGES GHOST!!!!"

"NARUTO-BAKA HE APPEARED AFTER THE THINGS WERE STOLEN!" Sakura reminded him.

"Oh yea......."

"We are so not gonna forget about you Sakura. That mouth Chakra thing was too rich." Ino said smiling.

Sakura sighed. "Okay, I have been seeing Shino for 'Check ups'"

The crowed whistled.

"I would have never pictured you with Shino, Sakura." Hinata said.

"So you still thought that I would want you?" Sasuke said. "Oh how wrong you were."

"SAKURA!!! YOU CHEATED WITH WHO I WAS CHEATING WITH!!!!! YOU WHORE!!!!" Moegi shouted

"Let's ask the crowd what should happen to Sakura." Naruto said.

Here are someof the responses he got:

"KILL THE BITCH!!!!"

"HANG THE BITCH!!!"

"CUT THE BITCH'S HEAD OFF!!"

"GET THE BITCH DRUNK, THEN FUCK THE BITCH!!!! THEN LEAVE THE BITCH PREGNANT!!!"

"THE BITCH IS A GIRL?!"

"SASUNARU 4 EVA!!!!!!" Sasuke activated his double mangekyou Sharingan and called forth his Susanoo warrior. The warrior grabbed this person and squished them in it's hand crushing bones and all leaving what could be thought of as a corpse.

"NARUSASU 4 LIFE!!!" Naruto went 9 tailes and stuck a chakra claw through this person's chest.

"SHIKATEMA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Ino through a barrage of kunai at this person.....now they're a pin cushion.

"NEJITEN!!" Lee went 6 gates and, for lack of a better phrase 'Fucked that person up'

"ITADEI IS WHERE IT'S AT!!" Now this person dies horribly slow. Sasuke had activated Amaterasu and burned them inch by inch until they were no more.

"NARUHINA!!!!!" Sai tried to kill this person but was stopped by a Jyuuken strike to his nutz by a certain female Hyuuga (wonder who that is?)

"I BELIEVE IT WAS SASUKE!!!!" Lee stood up and shouted.

"Lee you David Bowie wannabe, they already suspected me."

"I THINK IT IS YOU AND SOME HOW THEY OVER LOOKED IT! YOSH!"

"Me?" Naruto began. "Overlook something? Yeah right.....next thing you know you're gonna say it's day time or something."

O_O

"Dobe....IT IS DAY TIME!!"

"I STILL BELIEVE SASUKE IS THE CULPRIT!" Lee said.

Sasuke turned to face lee.

"TSUKIYOMI!!"

Lee fell backwards unconscious

"Lee!" Gaara said.

Gaara glared at Sasuke.

"Sabaku-"

"TSUKIYOMI!!"

Gaara fell backward unconscious.

"Sasuke would ya stop?" Shikamaru said.

"TSUKIYOMI!!!!"

Shikamaru fell over unconscious

"Sasuke you need to calm down." Jaraiya's ghost sid.

"TSUKIYOMI!"

"Thats not gonna work on me...."

"Sasuke why are you all nervous?" Hinata asked.

"I-I-I-i_iI--I 'm not nervous!!"

"Yeah you kinda are.." Naruto said.

"SHUT UP!!! WITH YOUR STUPID MONICLES!!! AND YOUR STUPID SUIT AND YOUR SUIT SPARKLY BLONDE HAIR!!!!AND YOUR DAZZLING CERULEAN BLUE EYES!!!! AND-AND......." Sasuke just stopped and fell to his kneees.

"NARUTO I LOVE YOU!!!!" He shouted.

Timed stopped. The whole room gasped. Jaraiya's ghost gasped twice.

Naruto's monicles broke.

Ino fainted.

sakura fainted

Sai got happy

Lee tried to take advantage of Neji....and failed misrebly

Kakashi screamed about his book.

Konohomaru felt sad for Naruto.

Naruto didn't know what to think. He knew for a fact he wan't gay.

Then-

_BOOM!_

Sasuke found himself bouncing off a wall and hitting the floor on his stomach. He looked up to see Hinata standing in her gentle fist stance in front of Naruto.

"THAT WILL NEVER EVER EVER!!! HAPPEN SASUKE!!"

PLEASE REVIEW!!!!


	12. A New Mystery

Sasuke staggered up.

"SO IT'S LIKE THAT SASUKE?!?!" Tenten screamed.

"Sorry Tenfour, but my heart belongs to a certain blonde."

Ino got happy.

"No Ino my HEART, not my Penis."

Ino sulked.

"LOVE ME NARUTO!"

"SASUKE WTF!!! I'M NOT GAY!"

"YES YOU ARE , YOU JUST DON'T KNOW IT YET!"

"SASUKE WTF!!!!" Naruto screamed.

"Come on Naruto you can't say that kiss didn't mean anything."

"SASUKE WTF!!!" Naruto screamed again

"What kiss?" Konan said a loud.

"When we were genin and just graduated." Sasuke answered.

"THAT WAS AN ACCIDENT!! SOMEONE BUMPED ME!!" Naruto said

"ACCIDENT OR NOT NARUTO, I LOVED IT!! EVER SINCE THEN I PLAYED HARD TO GET!!!!! KAMI NARUTO, I HARDLY EVER SPOKE TO SAKURA, DIDN'T GET THE HINTS?!?!?!"

"SASUKE WTF!!!"

"Since when is Sasuke gay?" Iruka said.

"I think that's Sai in disguise." Anko answered.

"NARUTO WHEN YOU WERE TIED TO A STUMP I OFFERED TO FEED YOU!!!!! BUT THAT PINK PANTHER BITCH WANTED TO COPY ME AND FED YOU INSTEAD!!!!!" Sasuke said glaring at Sakura with his Sharingan activated.

Sakura whimpered.

"SASUKE WTF!!!"

"I pray to Shinigami that he gives a painful and slow death to the guy who bumped Naruto." Hinata said under her breath.

"KAMI NARUTO!! I LEFT THE VILLAGE JUST SO YOU WOULD CHASE ME!!!! AND YOU DID!!!!!!! NOW WE CAN LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER!!!! MAYBE WE CAN START ON BRINGING BACK THE UCHIHA CLAN, I KNOW IT WON'T WORK CUZ YOURE A GUY BUT I WOULD ENJOY IT SOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH NARU-"

_BOOM!_

Sasuke found himself on the ground with one half of a table on his right and the other on his left.

Hinata was standing over him predatorily with her Byakugan activated.

"You will never repeat that do you understand?"

"IT WAS MEEE!!!!"

All heads turned to a guy that stood up at a random table. He had black hair in a ponytail.

Nobody noticed Hinata was not standing over Sasuke anymore.

Naruto hopped on the Jounin table.

"Get your feet outta my noodles!!" One irate Iruka said.

"SO YOU'RE THE THEIF!!!!" Naruto said pointing at the guy.

"No."

Naruto face vaulted.

"So who are you?" Konohamaru said.

"I'm the guy that bumped Naruto and made him kiss Sasuke."

O_o

O_o

"THANK YOU SOOOOOOO MUUUUUUUCH!" Sasuke screamed.

Naruto glared.

"You turned my best friend gay!!! along with Orochimaru's help but still......YOU!!!" Naruto said as he lunged at the guy.

"WAIT!"

Sasuke tackled him out of the air. They landed on another table.

"Don't attack him!! He showed me who I was on the inside."

"Damnit Sasuke!! He made you gay!!"

"So!"

"SASUKE WTF!!!"

"Hey guys."

All heads turned torward Tsunade.

"He's already dead."

O_o

Sure enough when everyone in the room looked over to where the guy was, he was laying on the table on his back, with his face in a way that made it look like he was in extreme pain.

"Shino check how he died." Tsunade ordered.

Shino sent his Kikaichu beetles over to the corpse.

They came back a second later.

"Report." Tsunade ordered.

"His heart exploded inside his chest. There is also a burn on his back where his heart is. But this is not just any burn, It's a chakra burn. It's also in the shape of a hand. The only people who I know thatsend chakra in the body and attack organs are the Hyuuga. So it was......................... death by a Jyuuken Strike.

DUN DUN DUN!!!!

Naruto turned and pointed his finger dramatically at someone. Then spoke.

"WHY'D YA DO IT NEJI?!?!"

Tsunade sighed."Stupid ass.....Neji's still unconcious."


	13. Sai saves the day!

"Naruto you dumb dumb blonde." Shizune said all out of character like..

"Wait a minute Sasuke." Sakura began."If you're gay how comeyou kept killing whoever shouted SasuNaru 4 eva?"

"...good question......well I ddn't want someone telling my secret."

"Sasuke How in the hell are you gay?" Shikamaru said magically waking up.

"Yes I would like to know as well."

"As I"

Lee and Gaara woke up.

"I think it was my Brother."

Itachi's ghost appeared next to Jaraiya's ghost.

"No DON'T BLAME THAT SHIT ON ME!!!! I WAS ONE OF THE ONLY STRAIGHT ONES IN OUR CLAN!!!"

O__o

"Sasuke, how did your brother killing your clan possibly turn you gay?" Naruto asked

"Silly sexy dobe." Naruto fought the urge to vomit. "Maybe because The thought of a man swinging his sword wildy slicing the throats of helpless people while his muscles glisten with sweat turns me on."

"SASUKE WTF?!!"

"Naruto please baby." Sasuke pleaded.

"Sasuke please don't call me that...if you value your life."

Sasuke sighed. "FIne then, I thought it wouldn't have to come to this."

Sasuke jumped on the tabe.

"Naruto remember when you were fighting Gaara? Well when both of you were at your last leg and after you punched him in the face, you fainted."

"Okay so whats your point?" Sakura asked.

"Well Naruto, did you ever wonder why you woke up with your anus hurting?"

O_O  
O_O  
O_O

Time stopped

Sakura gasped.

Kiba barked.

Chouji choked then fainted.

Temari was still beating Matsuri

Itachi's ghost got fainted and landed on Jaraiya's ghost....who was already fainted.

The sun FINALLY went down.

Naruto choked and gasped.

Hinata secretly took out a kunai.

Konohamaru faiinted.

Hanabi tried to take advantage of him.

Moegi punched Hanabi.

Konohamaru still got raped by Moegi...undeer the table.

Neji woke up but unfortunately when Teneten heard what Sasuke said she gasped and dramatically through her arms out....hitting Neji upside the head....knocking him out.

Ino got a nose bleed.

Shino did that buzz thing again.

"Sorry to disappoint you Sasuke, but that was not Naruto you ravaged."

O_O

"For one time in my life Sai, I'm glad to have you around." Naruto said.

"Sai you are lucky because you get to live for another chapter." Hinata said under her breath.

"Huh?" Naruto said.

"NOTHING!" Hinata sputtered.

"Sai you weren't even on the show back then." Kiba said.

"Allow me to clarify. I was under a mission to gather information on how Jinchuuriki fought. I was monitoring the battle and I gotta say.....It was the most intense moments my pants could handle. When Naruto passed out ,I immediately substituted with him and had other ROOT agents ak him to the hospital. I henged and...............you know the rest. But I gotta say Sasuke, A chakra enhanced penis was.........different."

Sasuke stood there gaping.

Naruto thanked the author for saving his ass......literally.

Hinata didn'thave to kill again....

Sasuke suddenly feared Hinata

"WAIT A GODDAMN MINUTE!!" Hinata screamed.

"WHO THE HELL IS THE THIEF?!?!?!"

"IT'S F**KING NIGHT TIME?!?"

LOL PLEASE REVIEW!!!!


	14. Kiba Will Not Be Spared

AN- You guys don't know how hard it is to write boys liking boys.....when your a boy yourself lol I deserve the nobel peace prize.

* * *

"So who didn't we suspect." said Hinata looking arund the room.

"Kiba." said Hanabi earning a glare from said Inuzuka.

Naruto jumped on top of the table and pointed Dramatically at Kiba.

The sun came back up.

"WHERE WERE YOU THE NIGHT OF THE NINJA BANQUET?!?!"

"Dobe.......I know it just was night time...but it's not anymore.....either your really stupid......Or you want me to jump you and take you here and now....which I want to."

Hinata and Tenten and Sakura and Ino glared at Sasuke.

"My how The Uchiha have fallen." Ghost Itachi said.

"This is getting good......I should write a book for Kami when I get back....she has these huge........" Ima let you figure out what ghost Jaraiya was sayng.

Kiba barked.

"Stop that!" Hinata screamed.

"I-I was here." Kiba said nervously.

"SO YOU'RE THE THEIF!?!?!" Naruto shouted.

"BARK!"

O_o

Hinata sighed.

"Kiba we know you did it." Naruto stated."Kurenai was your Sensei and she hated Kakashi sensei's books. You hated how I beat you in the Chuunin exams so you vowed revenge. You know you can't defeat me so you headed for someone I beat. Gaara's sand gourd. Then just because he's Kankurou, you wiped his make up off, then because you hate Shino's silence you took his shades and finally.........you painted Rock Lee's suit orange so it wouldn't look like you did it."

"Wow Naruto, That actually made some sense." Shikamaru said.

"No thats not true." Kiba said.

"ADMIT IT!!"

"But I-"

"AAAADMIIIIIT IIIITT!!!"

"OK!!!!!"

O_O

"SO YOU ARE THE THEIF?!!?" Hinata said.

"NO!! but I have a confession to make." Kiba said as he stood up.

Kurenai stood up aswell.

"Kiba don't tell them anyting!!!"

"Sorry Kurenai-chan, but I have to get this off my chest."

O_O

Shikamaru tensed.

Jaraiya ghost took out a pad ad pen.

Ghos Itachi looked confused.

"I'VE BEEN HAVING AN AFFAIR WITH KURENAI SENSEI!!!"

o\O

"YOU WHAT!!?!" Asuma's ghost appeared next to Itachi's and Jaraiya's

"Oh." Shikamaru said.

"my." Hanabi said.

"Self." Deva path's ghost appeared next to Asuma's Itachi's and Jaraiya's and said this.

"Pein? Why are you here?" Konan wondered.

"Eh, Blame the author for his randomness." Ghost Deva path said.

Shikamaru flew out of his chair at Kiba.

"YOU BASTARD!!"

Naruto and Hinata had to intercept him and hold him back. Unfortunatley Shika managed to throw a ceramic plate.

Neji Hyuuga had been unconscious from the start. Maybe now would be his time to wake up. When Neji started to stir it sure looked that way. But as luck would have it, a ceramic plate came out of nowhere and smashed against his head knocking him out yet again.....poor Neji.

"Kurenai...why?" Kakashi said.

"Because you F**ked Anko which was actually sai !!!"

O_o

"I just have one question." Asuma's ghost said. "How long Kurenai."

"......Since Kiba first became a genin."

O_O

O_O

O_O

O_O

"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH NINA IN THE LEAF VILLAGE?!?" Shizune said out of character like again.

"Thats not my only confession."

O_O

All heads turned to Kiba.

"Asuma's ghost....I'm so sorry but........................THAT'S NOT YOUR CHILD SHE'S CARRYING!!!!"

The sun eploded.

Tenten gasped.

Shikamaru fainted.

Temari raped Shikamaru under the table.

CHouji stopped eating.

Kakashi slapped Kurenai.

ghost Asuma fainted.

Hinata pulled out a kunai.

"Konan maybe this would be a bad time but.....Yahiko was gay." Pein's Deva path said.

O_o

Konan fainted.

"That's not my only confession." Kiba said once again.

"This is getting good." Anko said.

"I also had an affair with my sister Hana Inuzuka."

"KIBA WHAT THE F**K!?!" Tsume said from the clan head table.

Hana fainted from embarrassment.

Here are some reactions from the crowd.

"KIBA THAT'S INCEST!!"

"NO THAT'S BEASTIALITY!!"

"I CAN'T BELIEVE THESE ARE OUR PROTECTORS!!!"

"THE B***H IS A GIRL?!?"

"SASUNARU4EVA!!!!"

"STOP RIGHT THERE!!" Hinata said.

All eyes turned to her.

"What's your name? The one who keeps sreaming Sasunaru4eva?"

A girl walked up to Hinata with jet black hair going down her back and beautiful brown eyes. She looked to be 15 years old with a gorgeous body. The very sight of her caused Jaraiya's ghost to have a nosebleed.

"Sasunaru4eva?"

"Okay but's whats your name?" Hinata asked again.

"Sasunaru4eva?"

"LOOK WHORE!!! IF YOU DON'T TELL ME YOUR NAME I WILL GUT YOU LIKE A FISH!!" Hinata screamed.

"Hinata-chan? I think thats her name." Naruto said.

Hinata blushed.

"Gomen...."

"It's okay." Sasunaru4eva said.

"So all this time you were saying your name.....and gettin killed for it....are you a ghost?" Naruto wondered.

"I'm not a ghost. and I wasn't saying my name."

O_O

Hinata took out a second Kunai.

* * *

LOL please review.......

The next chapter is entitled: THE THEIF IS REVEALED!


	15. The Theif revealed

The whole room was quiet....

Nobody made a sound........

Hinata had two Kunai out....

SasuNaru4evar was just standing there smiling

Hinata was getting pissed off.......

"So you mean you want Naruto-Kun to be gay?" Hinata questioned.

"YEP!" SasuNaru4evar said.

O_O

"WHY?" Naruto asked before Hinata killed.....again.

"YOSH! SHE IS VERY YOUTHFUL IN THE WAYS OF HOMOSEXUALISM! SHE IS A GIFT FROM KAMI!" Lee screamed.

"(cough)Shinigami(cough)" Tenten coughed.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY WHORE-WHORE?" Lee asked politely....as if.

Tenten stood up.

"YOU WANNA GO B***H?"

"YOSH B***H!"

"Hold on."

O_O

Surprising everyone in the room Neji said this.

"Oh." CHouji said.

"My." Konohamaru added.

"SASUNARU4EVAR!" Sasunaru4evar shouted.

Naruto was sweating bullets.......

_'For some unexplainable reason that I can't explain....Hinata-chan gets pissed whenever that is said....she must have an overwhelming sense of not being gay.' _Naruto thought.

"Neji is finally awake." Shino said.

"Yes. I am. I would like to know who the theif is too." Neji said....until he gets knocked out again.

"So Why do you want me to be gay?" Naruto asked SasuNaru4evar.

"Because, it is the will of the creator." She said.

"Kami?" Naruto asked.

"No." She answered.

".....Shinigami?"

"No."

"........Rikudo Sennin?" (The sage of six paths)

"No."

"....................Rame-"

"NO NOT RAMEN YOU BAKA!" Sakura was about to punch Naruto in the head...until.

"Oof!" Sakura got knocked away by a powerful blow to the stomach.

"Don't you dare touch my future.....pink bitch" Sasuke said standing menacingly over Sakura with his Sharingan activated.

"It is the will of Kishimoto-sama-senpai-dono" Sasunaru4evar said.

O_O

Shikamaru was shocked.

"Y-you mean he who created even the Rikudo Sennin?" He asked.

"Yes." The gay porn lover responded.

"Who the hell is Kishimoto?" Naruto asked.

O_O

"Poor poor boy." Deva path said.

"He is the reason we are all living."

"And yet he wants me gay."

"You will obey." Tsunade said.

"Or what?" Naruto asked.

"It is not wise to disrespect our creator." Shizune said.

"I'LL DISRESPECT WHOEVER I WANT IF THEY WANT ME GAY!" Naruto defiantly said.

"And I'll be there to support you Naruto-kun!" Hinata said.

"Fate has already decided Naruto-kun." SasuNau4evar said.

"F**K YOU NEJI!"

O_O

"I DIDN'T EVEN SAY ANYTHING!"

"Sorry force of habit.....but F**K FATE!" Naruto corrected.

"You don't seem to understand." Sasunaru4evar said. "I am his right hand man......well girl."

"You're his right hand?" Kiba asked.

Suddenly someone banged their hand on the table and stood up.

"IT WAS MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! I'M THE THEIF!"

O_O

O_O

O_O

O_O

All heads turned into the direction of whosaid this.

"CHOUJI!" Ino screamed shocked and or flabbergasted.

"YOU STOLE MY BOOK!" Kakashi screamed revealing his Mangekyou Sharingan.

"YOU STOLE MY SAND GOURD!" Gaara said forming the little sand that he still had in his hand ready to use like a bullet made of sand.

"YOU STOLE MY MAKE UP -ER WAR PAINT!"Kankurou said pulling out his three puppets virtually from nowhere.

"YOU STOLE MY GREEN!" Lee said as he unravelled his wraps around his forearms and opening the first gate.

Shino stood up slowly.

"You.........stole................my.................GLAAAAASSSSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSS!" He said as bugs flew out of his sleeves and surrounded him.

"I'm sorry." Chouji said.

"SORRY DON'T F**KIN CUT IT!" Kakashi said. "I'm about to use my ultimate attack." Kakashi said again.

He then pulled down his face mask.

O_O

"OH MY GAAWD IT'S HIDEOUS!"

"IT'S UNREAL!"

"WHAT THE F**K MAN?"

"Is it too late to blame THAT on Madara?"

"PUT IT BACK!"

"PLEASE!"

"UNYOSH!"

"UNYOUTHFUL!"

Sakura threw up.

Some people lost consciousness.

The moon blew up...so the sun came back

Sasuke threw up.

Kiba Meowed.

Hanabi fainted.

Konohamaru fainted.

They both got raped by Moegi under the table.

Shikamaru leapt up in the air and landed on the table crying for his NOT troublesome mommy.

Naruto's mind shattered......like Yami-Yugi used mind crush on him.

Hinata staggered back then threw up.

The whole jounin table threw up.

The whole crowd threw up.

The unconscious Hyuuga bodies threw up.

Tobi's ghost came back and appeared next to Itachi's, Pein's, Jaraiya's and Asuma's. Tobi was Tobi, not Madara this time. Tobi's mask threw up.

Chouji threw up so much....he looked like Nagato in that machine thing.

Kakashi pulled his face mask back up.

"Whoa.....why didn't you do that when Rikudo Pein attacked?" Tsunade wondered as Shizune continued to throw up.

"Because I forgot."

Naruto sprung into action. And by that I mean he jumped up on the table and poitned at Chouji.

"WHY'D YA DO IT CHOUJI!"

"I was sooo hungry."

O_O

"Don't tell me...." Shikamaru said.

"Kakashi-sensei's book was orange like an orange, so I ate it. Gaara's gourd looked like a fruit, so I ate it, Kankurou's make up looked like fruit roll ups, so I licked it off his face, Lee's jumpsuit looked like a green bean, so I ate it and Shino's glasses reminded me of chips.....so I ate them."

O_O

It was so silent that you could hear the atoms that were in the room.

"YOU LICKED MY FACE?"

"MY BOOK!" Kakashi was about to pull his mask off again, but Anko stopped him.

"I hope you know I pee'd in my sand gourd."

"I hope you know I pee'd in my jumpsuit."

"I hope you realize my bugs mated on my glasses."

"Now that that's over." Sasunaru4evar said."Naruto, I'll make a deal with you."

Naruto looked confused.

"What is it?"

"I will persuade Kishimoto-sama-sempai-san, not to make you gay if you...........have sex with me here and now."

O_O

Hinata's mind shattered.

She smiled and started giggling.

"H-Hinata-chan?" Naruto asked stepping away from her a little bit.

Hinata then started to laugh insanely loud and Maniacly.

"HHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHOOHHOOOH!"

* * *

STAY TUNED FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER: HINATA SNAPS! SOMEONE'S GONNA DIE!


	16. True feelings

Hinata glared at Sasunaru4evar.

Sasunaru4evar stiffened.

"Naruto-kun will not be having sex with you." Hinata said.

"Why do you care so much?" Sasunaru4evar said.

Hinata tensed.

"Hinata-chan." Naruto said coolly as he walked up to her.

"Hinata remember when Rikudo Pein attacked the village?"

Hinata suddenly grew nervous. She knew where this was going.

"Well when that bastard stabbed you-"

"HEY!" ghost Deva path said.

"Sorry Nagato....When Tendo(Deva path) stabbed you, I got angry. Angry that one of my precious people got hurt."

The crowd was silent.

_'So I..I guess I'm just another one of his precious people'_

"But more importantly Hime, I got scared because I thought I would lose you. I'm just so sorry that it took you almost getting killed for me to realize that...you mean the world to me Hinata-chan."

"So.....beautiful." Tenten said as she wiped a tear away.

"Naruto has really grown." Sakura said blushing.

"What I wouldn't give to have taken that offer Orochimaru gave me about learning that body switching techniue." Sasuke said.

"What I wouldn't give to be Naruto's pants." Sai commented.

"Sai you sick son of a dead bitch." Ino said.

"Hn." Gaara said.

"Gaara that's Sasuke's thing , it's not cool to steal." Lee said.

"You're not cool." Gaara said back.

Hinata was elated to hear Naruto say that. SHe waited all these years to hear this.....and it finally happened.

"N-Naruto-kun." She started. "I have waited so long to hear you say that. I am so happy." She started to tear up.

"I want you to know Naruto-kun that I meant what I said back then and I still mean it today."

Hinata hugged Naruto around his waist. and looked deep into those sky blue orbs that he calls eyes.

"I love you Naruto-kun."

Naruto returned the warm and loving embrace.

"I love you too Hinata-Hime.......chan."

Hinata chuckled at her.....Naruto's sillyness.

The whole room erupted in praises and shouts.

"WOOHOO!"

"WAY TO GO NARUTO!"

"HINATA IS SOOOO COOL!"

"INVITE US TO THE WEDDING!"

"NAME YOUR CHILDREN AFTER US!"

"TRUE LOVE CONQUERS ALL!"

"BRING ME SOME SAKE!" Tsunade said.

"NARUHINA ALL THE WAY!" This guy somehow all of a sudden became the richest civilian in the world. Then Meagan good, Beyonce knowles and Mariah Carey appeared on his lap...at the same time.

"SCREW SASUNARU!" Sasuke roasted this person with Amaterasu.

"F**K SAINARU!" Sai raped this man...in front of everybody.

"Naruto you still have to do it."

The crowd fell silent as everyone turned to Sasunaru4evar.

"That was very touching, but I have a craving for Naruto Uzumaki d**k, and It needs to satisfied right now"

O_O

"Such vulgarity!" Gai started. "It appears today's youth is not very........young." The Jounin table looked at him strangely.

Hinata almost impaled Sasunaru4evar's head with a kunai but Naruto held her back.

"THE B***H NEEDS TO DIE!" Hinata said struggling to kill Sasunaru.

"No Hinata. I'll do it."

Gasps were heard throughout the room.....and camcorders were taken out

"WHY?" Hinata asked.

"Because it's apparent that she won't leave us alone until it is done."

"Well hop to it then. It's bad to keep me waiting." Sasunaru4evar said.

* * *

WILL CHOUJI EVER BE BROUGHT TO JAIL?

WILL SAI EVER STOP BEING PERVERTED?

WILL SASUKE BEEF WITH HINATA NEXT?

WILL NARUTO DO SASUNARU4EVAR?

WILL SHE LIKE IT?

WILL THE AUTHOR MAKE AN OOC CHARACTER AND INTERVENE?.................most likely

lol Please review!


	17. A New chapter and a big thank you

AN- I would reccomend you read the whole chapter before you click away...lol

* * *

He walked over to her and looked deeply in her eyes. She stared back with a hungry gaze. Her eyes drifted down his body to the bulge in his pants.

Then back to his eyes. He knew what she wanted but He wouldn't give it to her...not jus yet.

He leaned in and kissed her passionately on the lips, She returned it with just as much passion. She wrapped her arms around his neck and he wrapped his arms around her waist.

"I know you want this. And I just might enjoy giving it to you." He said in her ear.

She smiled and said "See now, I know I'm going to be better than that other girl who loves you."

He lifted her up and and sat her petite body on the table. He continued kissing her deeply while at the same time undressing her. He slid her shirt off and went to work on her upper body.

She let a pleasure filled sound escape her lips.

He kissed and sucked on her neck with even more passion then the kisses traveled lower to her body. Then lower, and lower, and lower, and lower until-

"KAKASHI!"

"What?"

"GET THE HELL OFF STAGE READING YOU'RE ICHA ICHA PORN!" Kurenai shouted clearly irritated...with a slight blush.

"I just thought I would lighten the mood you know? Produce a better atmosphere." Said Kakashi.

"They shall never understand the way of the Icha Icha." Ghost Jaraiya said.

"I could have sworn his book was eaten by Chouji." Ghost Itachi said.

"I could have sworn that it was talking about Naruto and Sasunaru4evar." Ghost Deva path said.

"Tobi could have sworn we were all dead...Tobi is a good boy." Ghost Tobi said.

"I could have sworn That the author completely forgot about me for about 10 chapters." Ghost Asuma said.

"Enough of this foolishness!" Sasunaru4evar said. "Naru-kun has a job to do."

Hinata glared at her.

"No."

"No?"

"No."

"No?"

"Yes No. I will not let you take advantage of Naruto-kun." Hinata then activated her Byakugan. "Prepare yourself.

Sasunaru sighed. "I was hoping it wouldn have to come to this but oh well." SHe snapped her fingers and Sasuke appeared in front of her."

"Sasuke?"

"Naruto, I am a firm hater of NaruHina. It's just not right. Can you imagine Blonde Hyuuga's, or Dark haired people that are Hyperactive...minus Konohamaru." Sasuke said.

"Sasuke you're siding with her?" Hinata asked.

"It would seem that way."

"Then you will be buried right next to her."

"Handle things Sasuke." Sasunaru4evar said.

Sasuke activated his regular sharingan and smirked.

"With pleasure."

Suddenly he unsheathed his sword turned around and plunged it through Sasunaru's neck.

O_O

The crowd was stunned by this.

Chouji stopped eating.

Shikamaru gasped

Neji gasped

Sai stopped raping that man.

Moegi stopped kissing Hanabi.

Hanabi stopped riding Konohamaru.

They all came from under the table.

Sakura looked in awe at her gay crush.

This turned Sai on.

Lee looked...like Gai's son.

"And yet I am unfazed by Uchihas murdering people. I bet she was ANOTHER clan memeber Sasuke." Naruto said.

"Shut up dobe. I did you a favor." Sasuke said still holding the blade that was plunged through Sasunaru4evar's neck.

Then the unthinkable happened.

"Naruto still has a job to do."

O_O

"It can't be!"

"Nothing makes sense anymore!"

SasuNaru4evar jus spoke with a sword impaling her throat.

"What the f**K man..." Iruka said.

Sasuke removed the sword and jumped back.

The wound on Sasunaru healed.

"I will always be here as long as homosexuality exists."

"Some how I saw this coming." Shikamaru said.

"I don't care. Even if you are immortal, you cannot have Naruto-kun." Hinata said.

"Correct me if I'm wrong but all we gotta do is kill everyone thats gay right?" Kiba said.

O_O

"Thats alooooot of people." Tenten said

* * *

PLZ PLZ REVIEW. I KNOW IT'S SHORT BUT I JUS WANTED TO POST SOMETHING. I PROMISE THE NEXT CHAPTER WILL HAVE MEANING. LOL

I WOULD LIKE TO THANK ALL OF THOSE WHO REVIEW MY STORY VERY MUCH. YOU GUYS ARE SO AWESOME. I FEEL AS THOUGH I HAVEN'T THANKED THE READERS ENOUGH. SO TO SHOW MY GRATITUDE I WILL LIST THE NAMES **AND** THE REVIEWS YOU LEFT. I KNOW IT'S THE FIRST TIME IT'S BEEN DONE BUT HEY...DEAL WIT IT! TRY TO FIND YOUR NAME OR SOMETHING...

AND A SPECIAL THANK YOU TO SASUNARU4EVAR FOR LETTING ME PUT HER IN MY FIC. I wouldn be surprised if she did the same with me( I hope not lol)

On a sid note...someof you have really funny usernames. for example : The unknown twinkie...lmao...

Thanks to (and I really will post your review so everyone can see. lol) :

**Sword2009**  
2010-04-26 . chapter 2

uh in all honesty this fic just keeps getting odder...not that that's a bad thing mind you...and I may have got the joke even though I hope i didn't...

**Hellyeah13-04**  
2010-04-26 . chapter 2

OMG! so funny lmao keep writing please!

**The Unknown Twinkie**  
2010-04-26 . chapter 2

Dude this is funny but sadly no I don't get the POSSE joke. So keep on updating the story.

**Kage Bijuu**  
2010-04-26 . chapter 2

I know who did it as it someone that no one will ever suspect it is Kurenai or Tsunade.

**msuzumaki**  
2010-04-26 . chapter 2

omg rofl. That was really funny. I'm so on the alert list for this fic.

I like a good laugh :)

**Imaginationgirl12**  
2010-04-26 . chapter 1

That's funny in a very weird way. I like it. WAIT! How did Lee's clothes turn...ORANGE so fast?

**XDarkRider**  
2010-04-26 . chapter 1

Its rather random, but its just funny that its good. I do hope you update soon

**Sword2009**  
2010-04-26 . chapter 1

This was the oddest thing I have read in a while...I mean odd...

**Hinakunoichi**  
2010-04-25 . chapter 1

hahahahaahhahhaahhah!

my sides hurt!

**TobiGB**

2010-04-25 . chapter 1

This is pretty good I hope you update soon. Great job.

**zara dragon**  
2010-04-28 . chapter 5

HOLY CHEESE THIS IS SO RANDOM!  
GOOD JOB

**TobiGB**  
2010-04-28 . chapter 5

Dam man! Everybody has a dirty little secret. Looking forward to the next chapter.

**Kage Bijuu**  
2010-04-28 . chapter 5

I mean really Sai is the only one that might have done it and it kind of disturbing how he gets around. Poor Kakash**i.**

**Hana-01**  
2010-04-28 . chapter 4

ahahaha, this is HILARIOUS and so random. looking forward to your next update**!**

**sasunaru4evar**  
2010-04-27 . chapter 4

HOLY FISHCAKES! I KNOW WHO'S THE THEIF! I KNOW WHO'S THE THEIF! IT'S- *ducks as a frying pan flies in the air and aims at me* IT'S- *swings to the left as a grenade misses me by an inch* IT'S-! *author shows up with a and holds it up in front of my face* SWEET JESUS IT'S TOO DAMN SEXY! *PASSES OUT*

Author: That'll keep her quiet till the end of the storyline.

**Sword2009**  
2010-04-27 . chapter 4

how do you write these chapter so fast?I mean holy shit...

**Hekem**  
2010-04-27 . chapter 4

Hahahaha,  
i laghed so much when readin this, this is brill  
thanks man

**adngo714**  
2010-04-27 . chapter 2

wtf? Why the hell is everyone yelling? Good story

**The Unknown Twinkie**  
2010-04-27 . chapter 4

Man this is funny please keep on updating.

**Paladin-kriss**  
2010-04-27 . chapter 4

Hahahaha, nice one.

**Kage Bijuu**  
2010-04-27 . chapter 4

This is epic and I know who did it it is Sai.

**TobiGB**  
2010-04-27 . chapter 4

XD! Nice chapter. Looking forward to hearing why Tsunade is a suspect.

**ichihinahime**  
2010-04-26 . chapter 1

this shit is so funny that i started crying from the pain omg da shit bout lee likin neji just o much to handle and the one night stand with sai u crack me up

**TobiGB**  
2010-04-26 . chapter 2

Great chapter and believe me I got the joke. Anyway keep up the good work.

**Angelwings228**  
2010-04-26 . chapter 2

OHMYF$%&#GOD!

er...neji and rock lee are gay. hinata has multiple personalities and what?

Anyway its awesome.

UPDATE!

**KantonKageX  
**2010-04-29 . chapter 1

Naruhina detective agency pretty funny.

**Kage Bijuu**  
2010-04-29 . chapter 6

I need to clean my brain out with bleach.

2010-04-29 . chapter 2

rundom funny shit lol love the story

**Stigma**  
2010-04-29 . chapter 6

The end was major failure, totally killed the humor factor.

**Hana-01**  
2010-04-29 . chapter 6

LOL such awesomeness, I can't stop laughing, one of the funniest fanfics I've read in a while. Can't wait for your next update!

**TobiGB**  
2010-04-28 . chapter 6

XD! That was great I bet Hinata is going to have a nose bleed from seeing this.

**adngo714**  
2010-04-28 . chapter 6

Yaoi no Jutsu? Is that like Konohamaru's Boy on boy, where he makes a clone of Sasuke, henges into Sai, and start...you know

**sasunaru4evar**  
2010-04-28 . chapter 6

OH MY GOD TEACH ME THIS JUTSU ! I MUST LEARN IT!KYAH!

**sasunaru4evar**  
2010-04-28 . chapter 5

*singing along to dirty little secret*  
'DON'T TELL ANYONE OR YOU'LL BE JUST ANOTHER REGRET!'

HAHAHAH GOTTA LOVE THAT SONG! By the way... I STILL KNOW WHO IT IS! IN FACT I HAVE TWO OPTIONS ON WHO IT COULD BE! AND YOU'LL NEVER GUESS WHAT I KNOW!  
*continues to sing*  
'WHO HAS TO KNOW?... WHO HAS TO KNOW?...

**CloudRed1988**  
2010-04-28 . chapter 5

What the hell! This is crazy

**SAbL**  
2010-04-28 . chapter 5

gold

**SAbL**  
2010-04-28 . chapter 4

i fucking luv u

**SAbL**  
2010-04-28 . chapter 3

LMFUCKINGAO

**SAbL**  
2010-04-28 . chapter 2

holy fuck, this is the most fucking hilarious thing i have ever read. this soo lee GAY? that is fucking genious, this is pure gold. so amazing lmfao

**Kratos181**  
2010-04-28 . chapter 5

This is actually quite funny. The plot twists and the secret love affairs are hilarious. Keep up the funny work, and don't stop ^_^

**NekoStriker101**  
2010-05-03 . chapter 1

that was great! x3  
i thought the ending was funny cuz...well..who wouldn't...peopple who hate funny stuff!duh-de-der  
but wat i thought was a funny coincidence (oh my gosh i spelt that right the first time!)  
was that i just learned about asexual reproduction XP  
which means i also learned about eggs and nyea...u know...  
my teacher used the lion king as an example...  
i can never watch that movie the same again...  
plus i got the song the circle of life stuck in my head...  
see how far from the topic i can be without going off topic XP

**The Unknown Twinkie**  
2010-05-03 . chapter 9

I like it please continue.

**Forgot to be named**

2010-05-03 . chapter 9

roflmao but there are a few problems though. For one this is not a K-rating also this chapter you said was about Ino but no one said anything to her or about her secret affairs.

**minuet-of-forest**  
2010-05-02 . chapter 9

HOLY CRAP THIS IS FUNNY AS HELL! XD

**Kage Bijuu**  
2010-05-02 . chapter 9

You know I starting to suspect it was Shino I mean the only thing stolen was his glassess which he could get rid of easily and also the fact he have his bugs as well that they might piflers things.

**CloudRed1988**  
2010-05-02 . chapter 9

-_-...this story is getting weirder and weirder...and funny at the same time...anyway plz update ASAP?

**FawnDawn**  
2010-05-02 . chapter 9

It was Shino Aburame. Nobody suspects him! O.O

**Name did not come up when i copy and pasted**

2010-05-02 . chapter 8

lol once again another funny chapter and wow sai "Really" got around huh.

**zara dragon**  
2010-05-02 . chapter 8

EPIC LOL'S PLEASE CAN SASUKE GET RADOMLY BITCH SLAPPED  
PLEASE~!

**msuzumaki**  
2010-05-01 . chapter 8

omg lol. I've never read a fic this hilarious XD  
And I've never read a fic where the Nara's had small penises either lol  
There's a first time for everything.

lol Lee looked gay rofl

You'll be the death of me XD

**sasunaru4evar**  
2010-04-29 . chapter 8

OHMYGOD THE YAOI NO JUTSU IS HEAVEN! MUST-HAVE-ANOTHER SCENE! SASUNARU4EVAR!

**Sword2009**  
2010-04-29 . chapter 7

your story just gets odder and odder...sigh I clicked the button accidentally...

**Anime Watcher**  
2010-04-29 . chapter 2

Hinata is so OOC. Well, I just read Chapter 1. Lol, Kankuro : "My Make-up er, I mean war paint!"

**KantonKageX**  
2010-04-29 . chapter 2

you're rating is wrong this is definitely not a K fic. It's pretty funny espically the hidden joke.

**The Unknown Twinkie**  
2010-04-29 . chapter 7

Dude you are weird so please keep on updating.

**BanditRyu  
**2010-05-04 . chapter 4

More of this: O o

**BanditRyu**  
2010-05-04 . chapter 3

This getting more and more out of hand

**BanditRyu**  
2010-05-04 . chapter 2

Watson... just no...

**BanditRyu**  
2010-05-04 . chapter 1

You just won the internet!

**Kage Bijuu**  
2010-05-04 . chapter 10

This is a very Epic chapter and also if you pull a NAruto cheating on Hinata or the other way around I will stop reading the story. BUt I think I know who did it was Anko.

**minuet-of-forest**  
2010-05-04 . chapter 10

Sakura's a girl? Lol. :D

**Yo.**  
2010-05-04 . chapter 10

This is the most delectable story my eyes has ever been graced with. I chewed the story, swallowed..and then coughed it up from laughing. Delicious.

**sasunaru4evar**  
2010-05-04 . chapter 10

Great. When I finally get to show up in the story, you kill me with Sasuke's amaterasu(?). Well, at least the point was loud and clear. SASUNARU4EVAR! HELL YEAH!

**msuzumaki**  
2010-05-04 . chapter 10

rofl you're gonna kill me. I can't eat or drink while reading this fic ^_^

Why did Ayame slap Kiba o.O

Shino and Sakura O.O I love Shino

lol Lee wondering if Sakura is a girl. OMG it's a wonder why he doesn't fawn over the girly looking girls lol

Total brain fizz after reading this

**Sword2009**  
2010-05-04 . chapter 10

How can any story possibly be so odd...?

**The Unknown Twinkie**  
2010-05-04 . chapter 10

I know the culpret but I am not telling and please do not make Naruto and Hinata cheating on each other or I will not continue to read this (and I am seriose)

**KantonKageX**  
2010-05-04 . chapter 10

Ok very funny chapter random slaps for everyone. So, basically eveyone screwing each other behind their partners back. Btw can you change the rating to T because this is not a K fic

**Rezuvious**  
2010-05-04 . chapter 10

this kept a creepy gin like smile on my face my cheeks are now tired. cant wait for more

**sasunaru4evar**  
2010-05-03 . chapter 9

Dude what the heck man! Next thing you know Sasuke's going to say that him and Naruto are screwing around!...Actually that's not such a bad idea... hehehe SASUNARU4EVAR!

**msuzumaki**  
2010-05-03 . chapter 9

Firstly you are crazy. And I think I'm crazy for actually visualizing this rofl.  
Please don't torture Shino in the next chapter XD

When will Naruto realize it's daytime still rofl

And I think Naru and Hina did it lol.

**Leaf Ranger  
**2010-05-08 . chapter 11

Well... other then some grammatical mistakes in the frist two or so chapters, nothing in that area.

...*loses seriousness, and starts laughing, then chokes, and dies.*

*Ghost of Leaf Ranger* As you can see, I died laughing. This fanfic was just freaking hilarious, for a crack fanfic. Very nice.

**Chewie Cookies**  
2010-05-08 . chapter 11

Please, please, PLEASE! Let the insanity CONTINUE!

**KantonKageX**  
2010-05-08 . chapter 11

Lol everybody getting killed for saying random pairing. I just hope Naruto nor Hinata have any affairs or I will stop reading. Yay, Hinata for defending me from Sai who must die. Naruhina 4Ever. Death to NaruSasu 4ever *takes out scythe and starts slashing) Die, die, die, die, die, die, die and die some more.

**Chewie Cookies**  
2010-05-08 . chapter 2

Oh, Gawd, this is so friggin CRAZY!

**Chewie Cookies**  
2010-05-08 . chapter 1

OMG! This is some really funny, out-of-the-blue stuff!

Keep it up!

**Angelwings228**  
2010-05-08 . chapter 11

Holy fork...thayt was epically awesome and..er...confusing? Ha, please update sooooon

**BlackWingGundam**  
2010-05-08 . chapter 11

This story...words cannot seem to express and since actions won't at the moment, words will have to do. This story is fucking hilarious! I love it! Chapter after chapter, another secret comes out of the closet but what is going to happen when they point the finger at Naruto and Hinata? What if Naruto had a secret that he was seeing the Filler Arc girls as well as Hinata and Ayame? This story is getting better and better by the moment, if I was a teacher...A+! Of all my time reading fanfics, not one have I seen that was this funny. This story practically reduced me to tears when I was laughing so hard. Simply amazing. This story is one of the best I've seen.

**Name did not come up when i copied and pasted**

2010-05-07 . chapter 11

omg hinatas pissed run for your lives

**Kage Bijuu**  
2010-05-07 . chapter 11

You know I think Sasuke did do it I mean all there possible suspect is there but Sasuke is the only one that overlooked.

**sasunaru4evar**  
2010-05-07 . chapter 11

YES! OH MY GOD YES! YEYEYEYEYYS! FUCKING FINALLY SWEET JESUS I'M SO HAPPY! KYAHAHHAHAH! YESYESYESYYEYEYYEYS! FUCK YEAH FUCK YEAH FUCK YEAH! YAH! SASUNARU4EVAR!

2010-05-05 . chapter 10

another chapter of some awsome randomness nice break from some of the more coherent fics we all need a bit of insanity in our lives ^_^

**BanditRyu**  
2010-05-04 . chapter 10

SO CONFUSED

**BanditRyu**  
2010-05-04 . chapter 8

Sai needs to DIE

**BanditRyu**  
2010-05-04 . chapter 6

OH NOES!

**BanditRyu**  
2010-05-04 . chapter 5

I'm betting Sai too...

**msuzumaki  
**2010-05-10 . chapter 13

Kiba barked. - Only you would do that lol

"Sai you weren't even on the show back then." Kiba said.- me nods in agreement .

lol this story makes my day/month/year

**Name did not come up when i copied and pasted**

2010-05-10 . chapter 13

lol for a second their you had me worried for naruto poor guy thought hed lost his virgenity in the worst way possible and hinatas a killer =D

**Kage Bijuu**  
2010-05-09 . chapter 13

Sai Save Naruto but in a litaral way. And so who is the thief.

**CloudRed1988**  
2010-05-09 . chapter 13

HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!...plz update ASAP!

**Leaf Ranger**  
2010-05-09 . chapter 13

Oh wow... thank you... thank you for sparing us having Naruto anal raped. That would ahve just been so wrong, unless he changed into his sexy form... and hinata changed into a guy version of herself.

Wait... what did I say? OH NO! YOUR STORY IS AFFECTING ME! *Runs off, and smashes through a wall*

**demon-fox321**  
2010-05-09 . chapter 12

hahahahaahahahahahaha! this fic is hilarious! please update!**sasunaru4evar**  
2010-05-09 . chapter 12

I'M THAT GUY WITH THE BLACK HAIR IN A PONY TAIL! I MADE SASUNARU HAPPEN! IMA GAWD IN DISQUISE!

**msuzumaki**  
2010-05-09 . chapter 12

"THE BITCH IS A GIRL?" - I'm sure that's Lee XD

"SASUNARU 4 EVA!" - Why did I have to die for telling the truth rofl

This is getting more hilarious with each chapter.

**JamKa**  
2010-05-09 . chapter 12

Omg. BAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Love it! XD

**Name did not coe up when I copied and pasted**

2010-05-08 . chapter 12

lol hinata kills the guy and he blames it on neji

**Mi3staR**  
2010-05-08 . chapter 12

whooaa whoaaa whhhooaoaa :00

ok let me get this right,,,

There is Hinata who likes Naruto

Sasuke is fucking up with Tenten, but likes Naruto

Tenten and Neji are seeing each other

but Lee likes Neji o.o""

Ino likes Sasuke, Sakura and Shikamaru

but Shikamaru is dating, Temari, with other girls

Garra is what ? dating this other girl o.o""

but then shino has fucked up Moegi

but Moegi is dating Konohamaru.

also Hanabi and Moegi had sex.

and Kakashi is dating 4 girls at once ? o.o

yes this is all fucked up

specially Sai, having sex with most of the guys on the table :/

**Chewie Cookies**  
2010-05-08 . chapter 12

OMG WTF BBQ! I think it was... CHOUJI! No, not for the one who killed ponytail guy, the one who took Gaara's gourd and shit.

Keep up the good work!

**Kage Bijuu**  
2010-05-08 . chapter 12

I believe it was Hinata that did that one but the guy had it coming for that and she did say the guy was goign to die. Still I think it Sasuke or Anko that did it.

**Leaf Ranger**  
2010-05-08 . chapter 12

Wow. Hinata killed the guy, while Sasuke conitnues to be gay. Wow.

**FawnDawn**  
2010-05-08 . chapter 11

...that was unexpected...

**Kage Bijuu**  
2010-05-12 . chapter 15

She going to snap run for lives. Hinata snap! Run!

**adngo714**  
2010-05-12 . chapter 15

what the hell? and I mean that in a funny way

**Mi3staR**  
2010-05-11 . chapter 14

Oh my fucken gawd.

You banged it man, you so bang it! :D

Yea sure there may be some couple and weird saying throwing all over the table, but dude. XD.

Kiba, you did a very good job with kiba. It hit me when you said then kiba was the father, I lost it, I laughed my head off big time.

Good job, I love this story so much!

**Monkey Ninja Naf S'netog**  
2010-05-10 . chapter 1

Man oh man! I can't decide whether this story is pure comedical genius, or blind stumbling over the keyboard. I mean, I really can't. I'm on the razor's edge, balanced precariously, willing to go either way.

I asked myself, "Are these acronyms an intentional satire, adding to the comedic value, or is it just as it is in any other fanfiction... lack of respect for the reader?"

I then inquired to the empty room surrounding myself, "Who is this person, and what have they done?"

I still have not been able to answer either question. I may investigate further.

Also, I'd like to congratulate you on your review count. Your 12,000 word story has amassed a nice following.

**Name did not come up**

2010-05-10 . chapter 14

omg killer hinata!

**sasunaru4evar**  
2010-05-10 . chapter 14

HELL YEA IM IN! Beat that biotches! The day u get a peace prize is the day I stop saying SASUNARU4EVAR! Which will nevar happen, sorry to say. DA SHUN WENT BLOOM! INUZUKAINCEST! KIBA'S A DADA! GAWD'S A YAOI LOVA! Hehehe...Jaraiya gotta nosebleed... See me next time as Hina and I battle out for the title 'Either Naruto gets Fuked or he's Fuking.' PEACE!

**Sasori'sGirl1098**  
2010-05-10 . chapter 14

OMG can't wait till da next chapter! Hurry and write it!

**The Unknown Twinkie**  
2010-05-10 . chapter 14

Wow that was wierd and funny.

**TobiGB**  
2010-05-10 . chapter 14

Wow just wow. These people are F'd up. I can't wait to see who the theif is.

**Leaf Ranger**  
2010-05-10 . chapter 14

Revealed? YEAH! SOON, THE MADNESS WILL END! *is in straightjacket*

**KantonKageX**  
2010-05-10 . chapter 14

Oh my god the Insanity and Kanton(chaos). Perfect as long as naruto and hinata don't have any affair. By the way do you watch Soul Eater because excalibur would a perfectly random insert to this story.

**CloudRed1988**  
2010-05-10 . chapter 14

This is madness right here...anyway plz update ASAP!

**Chewie Cookies**  
2010-05-10 . chapter 14

Oh, God, the randomness continues!

Keep it up, mortal! (don't deny it, you know you're a mortal!)

**adngo714**  
2010-05-10 . chapter 14

still as funny as ever...poor Neji

**Chewie Cookies**  
2010-05-10 . chapter 13

Oh, God, thanx for the save!

Keep it up!

**BlackWingGundam**  
2010-05-18 . chapter 16

Damn! Another good chapter. Not bad but I am already curious to what will happen next.

**Kage Bijuu**  
2010-05-18 . chapter 16

I will intervene as that women just ruin a happy moment. That a big no no right.

**sasunaru4evar**  
2010-05-14 . chapter 15

So it was Chouji huh... Question. WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING THROUGH YOUR SICK HEAD? ME AND NARUTO? WHAT WERE YOU THINKING WRITING THIS FUCKING CHAPTER? HINATA'S GOING TO FUCKING MURDER MY ASS! FUCKS I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M WRITING ANYMORE! I lost my sense of direction now...

**Unamed**

2010-05-13 . chapter 15

omg hinata gone off the deep end

**msuzumaki**  
2010-05-13 . chapter 15

O.O I never would have thought this would happen lol.

And I higly doubt Kishimoto-sama would encourage most of us perverse girls to make his characters gay rofl, but it's fun to read XD

**Mi3staR**  
2010-05-13 . chapter 15

I knew it!

I knew it was Choji dammnn

he did nothin but eat :p

lolzz xDD

but anywaysss,,,, were fucked, were all dead o.o

**Riku Uzumaki**  
2010-05-12 . chapter 15

Riku: She's gonna blow! Hit the deck!

Kushina: Kill that rabid yaoi fangirl Hinata! (Ducks for cover)

...

(Side note: This is how I review occasionally when I want to be a little humorous, and I'm actually not the only one that does this. SOME PEOPLE HOWEVER (glares at anonymous reviewer Stigma()) just can't keep their opinions to themselves and decide that they have to flame the person that is reviewing in a way that the flamer dislikes. I am only posting this because I can't find the cowardly bastard and have to get back at him by doing this!)

...

(Extra side note: I'm sorry if you're offended by my first side note, I'm just really pissed off at this anonymous reviewer by the name of Stigma() due to him sending me a rather hurtful review that wasn't even about the story that the review was attached to! The review was about the reviews that I gave to other people! If you find out who this jackass is, please do me a favor and put him/her in his/her place! He/She has no right to put other people down by telling them to stop reviewing the way that they feel like reviewing, and personally, I think that my review style can be very humorous sometimes. The reason for this is because he/she has no right to attempt to censor other people!)

Again, I am sorry if you are offended by me attaching this rant to my review

**KantonKageX**  
2010-05-12 . chapter 15

! *Takes out scythe again and starts slashing* Death to Sasuke, Sasunaru, and any non Naru Pairings minus HINATA-SAMA* for I call for its death. Death and destruction to all of the blasphemious heathens to those who defy the NaruHina. Naruto belong to Hinata-sama that is it. Naruto is not gay (see naruto shippuden movie 3) Ninpou Zettai Ougi: Anti-naru Yaoigari.(Ninja Art Ultimate Absolute Offense: Anti-Naru Yaoi hunter) * swings scythe and triggers a huge explosion* NARUHINA AND DEATH TO SASUNARU FOREVER I TELL YOU FOREEEEEEVVVVVEEEERRR Anti-Naru Yaoigari *triggers another huge explosion* !

*P.s the same goes for Hinata-sama as well Only Naruto can have Hinata and vice versa*

**FawnDawn**  
2010-05-12 . chapter 15

...Unexpected...*throws up* Quote: "I hope you know I pee'd in my sand gourd."

**TobiGB**  
2010-05-12 . chapter 15

That was a twist took me by surprise. Great job.

**Sword2009**  
2010-05-12 . chapter 15

...This just gets odder and odder?

**Leaf Ranger**  
2010-05-12 . chapter 15

NOOOO! HINATA-CHAN SNAPPED!

*Has sudden idea, as he henges into Naruto, and repalces Naruto with himself* Heh heh heh.

**The Unknown Twinkie**  
2010-05-12 . chapter 15

Well I was wrong because I thought that naruto and hinata stole it and then run after acused everyone else but the way choji did it was awsome please update soon.

**BlackWingGundam**  
2010-05-12 . chapter 15

Another good chapter, as funny as the last.

**Chewie Cookies**  
2010-05-12 . chapter 15

YAY FOR HINATA KILLING PEOPLE!

Keep it up!

**Misutii Hi No De**  
2010-05-24 . chapter 16

Ya know, Naruto never said he would 'DO' SasuNaru4eva, he could just mean that HE would kill her instead of Hinata ^^ And I LOVE reading this, you wrote it sooooo well! I was laughing so hard I had tears coming out my eyes and they actually stung a bit xD And I absolutely LOOOOVED the confession between Naruto and Hinata! Adorrrrable! I can't wait to read more! Please post again sooN!

**Mi3staR**  
2010-05-21 . chapter 16

dduuuddde ":D

this is rated T!

there can't be a sex scene if there, dude you may need to change it to M : p

dude, finally : DD

hinata and Naruto are together! whahahahaha

**bakapervert**  
2010-05-20 . chapter 11

Dammit, what kind of confession is that

**bakapervert**  
2010-05-20 . chapter 10

Sakura's a girl?

**bakapervert**  
2010-05-20 . chapter 9

The affair starting to get old.

**bakapervert**  
2010-05-20 . chapter 8

What a shocking (well, not so shocking anymore) revelation.

**bakapervert**  
2010-05-20 . chapter 6

Gah, how can Sai master that kind of forbidden jutsu.

**Fluff hater**

2010-05-20 . chapter 16

omg no not fluff it hurts it burns so badly kill the fluff!

**sasunaru4evar**  
2010-05-19 . chapter 16

Okay fine I get it. This is my punishment for liking yaoi too much right? Well can we talk about this? I mean, I really don't want to screw with naruto. I'd rather have Hinata-sama do the honor.

**Chewie Cookies**  
2010-05-19 . chapter 16

Lol, fluff and insanity, in perfect harmony!

Keep it up!

**Seisix**  
2010-05-18 . chapter 16

Silly

**jamisa27**  
2010-05-18 . chapter 16

please please please sasunaru4eva die a slow death when your a inch away from naruto's dick because kyuubi charka

**KantonKageX**  
2010-05-18 . chapter 16

Naruhina ftw! Excellent can you castrate Sai because that would be funny. I am curious on SasuNaru4ever's punishment. I have a feeling it won't pretty *snickers evilly*.Random statement: I have a scythe similar to Sasha from Seikon no qwaser only the blades are red and the handle is blue.

**Riku Uzumaki**  
2010-05-18 . chapter 16

Kushina: ... HINATA! KILL THAT BITCH BEFORE NARUTO MAKES THE WORST MISTAKE OF HIS LIFE! HE IS NOT ALLOWED TO SKREW THAT YAOI FANGIRL! THAT FANGIRL IS NOTHING BUT A LIAR! SHE HAS NEVER EVEN SO MUCH AS MET KISHIMOTO! LET ALONE BECAME HER RIGHT HAND PERSON!

Riku: This is one of the few times that I actually agree with my sister... IF YOU ACTUALLY LET NARUTO GO THROUGH WITH THAT, THEN YOU WILL HAVE TWO VERY PISSED OFF UZUMAKIS HOUNDING YOU UNTIL YOU EITHER CHANGE THIS OR DIE! YOU'RE THE ONE IN CONTROL OF WHAT'S HAPPENING HERE DAMMIT! NOT THIS... THIS CRAZED FANGIRL BY THE NAME OF SASUNARU4EVA OR THE CREATOR OF THE MANGA!

I apologize for the behavior of my OC and Kushina, they're really agitated right now because of what you just wrote, but seriously, if you actually make Naruto go through with that, I will be very upset.

Kushina: And I. will. skin. you...

**Sword2009**  
2010-05-18 . chapter 16

Ok...I have no idea how this plot worked out to you logically but it is funny and i can wait for the next chapter...


	18. BAFFLE DOODA DEAF!

AN- Hey I know SasuNaru4evar seems like the bad girl in this fic but she is totally a cool as hell person. You should like totally read her stories...They are so badass awesome. READ THEM OR NARUTO GETS ANALLY ATTACKED! JK...or am I?

* * *

"So what are we going to do now?" Shikamaru said.

"SasuNaru4evar is gonna back down from Naruto and let me deflower his Uzumaki Virgin ass." Sasuke said sharply.

"You will do no such thing, you Kin Killer!" SasuNaru4evar said.

"IT WAS MY BROTHER!"

"SCREW YOU MAN!" Ghost Itachi said.

"At least I'm not dead." Sasuke said.

"At least I died AFTER I had sex with a girl."

"Touche'...b***h."

"Here's an Idea." Naruto said at first. "LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE YOU FILTHY SLUT-WHORE!" Naruto shouted.

"I didn't even do anything to you!"

"He was talking to SasuNaru4evar, not your filthy, slut-whore ass Sakura." Hinata said.

"Sorry Naruto-kun, I get what I want. And I want you." Sasunaru4evar said.

"Well you are not getting him." Sasuke gripped his sword harder.

"Like wise." Hinata activated her Byakugan.

"Well it seems we have a problem." Sasunaru began. "We all want the same thing."

"No we don't." Hinata started."I want to love and cherish him forever and ever."

"Me too...just for this one night... forever and ever." Sasunaru said said.

"Well I ant his asshole over and over." Sasuke said.

"Well I have a solution to all our problems." Sasunaru said.

The whole room got quiet for this.

"Three way baffle dooda deaf!" Sasunaru4evar said.

"I'm sorry what now?" Konohamaru said.

"Is someone deaf?" Ino said.

"Who's deaf?" Lee said.

"What?" Teneten said.

"I said whose deaf?" Lee said

"What?" Tenten

"Tenten are you deaf?" Lee said.

"What's a baffle?" kiba said.

"Can we eat it?" Chouji said.

"Gaara why are you still trying t kill Neji?" Lee asked.

"SHut up hoe."

"Buzz."

"Bark."

"Icha Icha." (You know who said this."

"Naruto's in deep deep shit." Sakura said.

"DAMNIT EVERYBODY SHUT THE HELL UP!" SasuNaru4evar said.

The room went silent.

"I sneezed. What I meant to say was BATTLE TO THE DEATH!"

gasps were heard throughout the room.

""I'll fight to till I die for Naruto-kun." Hinata proudly said. The hyuuga bodies were still throughout the room mind you.

"I'll fight for his ass...and I do mean his ass." Sasuke said.

"And I will fight for that one magical night of passion." Sasunaru said.

Suddenly Sasunaru clapped her hands together...then the unthinkable happened.

Everyone was transported to a hightech battle arena. The unimportant villagers were seated around the battle dome much like a Basketball game. The actual battle dome was enclosed in 20 feet thick reinforced glass. The rookie 12 were stationed in dug outs...protective dugouts around the arena. Sasuke was standing in the middle of the arena. SasuNaru was facing him. Hinata was standing behind Sasunaru.

"Let the games begin."

Hinata rushed at Sasunaru4evar from behind.

"Jyuuken death strike!"

* * *

I know it's short...but I had to have a filler chapter before the really amazing things happen. Reviews are appreciated.


	19. Who will win?

Hinata jumped at Sasunaru4evar and aimed a Jyuuken strike at her Back.

"Jyuuken death strike!" She yelled planning to kill Sasunaru...but knowing the author ...it wont be that easy.

Sasunaru just stood there still staring at Sasuke. Acting as if she didn't hear Hinata's loud scream of promising eminent death.

Sasuke smirked. _'I guess Hinata's gonna take her out for me.'_

When Hinata reached her, Hinata jabbed her palm at Sasunaru's back.

"Heh." Hinata swore she heard Sasunaru4evar chuckle.

Then the unimaginable happened.

Hinata's hand went throughSasuNaru as if she were a ghost. It phased through.

"What in the hell?" Tenten said in the stands.

"It appears She has the same power as Madara Uchiha." Neji said.

"You're awake?" Tenten said.

"Yes."

"TOBI THINKS SHE'S A CHEAP IMITATION OF TOBI!" Ghost Tobi said.

"Jaraiya thinks she can get it...and she can." Ghost Jaraiya said.

Sasuke looked shocked for a second then returned his expression to the infamous uchiha glare.

"It seems this won't be as easy as I thought." Sasuke said.

"You're damn right it won't."

Sasuke heard this from behind him. Sasuke's ninja senses told him to duck. But being the Uchiha that he is...He jumped instead. It was a good thing he jumped toO because right after he left the ground Sasunaru appeared right where he was with her fist punching the ground. a crater appeared here she punched.

"HOLY KYUUBI ON A STICK!" Yamato said. Every eye turned to him since this was his first appearance in this fic now.

"Sasuke Uchiha, you seem to be faster than I tought." Sasunaru said.

Sasuke landed 15 feet away from her and glared at her. SasuNaru seemed unfazed by the Uchiha glare.

But inwardly Sasuke's thoughts were. _'THAT COULD HAVE BEEN MY ASS!'_

"Shut up wench. I will prove that SasuNaru is destined to happen, but I will do it my way. And that means you are not needed." Sasuke said.

SasuNaru smiled. "We'll see."

Suddenly she felt the air shift in front of her.

A milisecond later SasukE was crouched directly under her, sword aimed at her stomach , and Sharingan blazing bright red.

"Yes we will see." He plunged the blade at her abdomen, but she back flipped backwards out the way.

"Damn Uchihas are fast...like crack heads."

Sasuke ran at her.

"Naruto's ass is mine!"

"NO HE'S NOT YOU GAY SLUT!"

Hinata swooped down on Sasuke like a Hawk on a blind mouse...except the mouse was Sasuke.

"HA!" As Hinata was falling she aimed a Jyuuken kick at his head.

SasukE's ninja senses told him to conserve chakra and substitute out the way...but being the Uchiha that he is...He shushined out the way...cuz it looked cooler.

Hinata splintered the ground wit the kick.

"Damn...I missed." Hinata said.

"I wont."

Hinata turned her head and saw SasuNaru throw a punch at his head...which was kinda dumb cuz the Byakugan lets you see BEHIND you aswell. Hinata ducked and Jyuuken blocked her fist, then grabbed her wrist.

Sasunaru4evar smirked. "It seems we are evenly matched."

Hinata glared."So it seems."

Suddenly a figure emerged from the ground beneath them with blue lightning in both his hands. He struck both girls in the stomach.

"OOF!"

"GAGLE!"

They flew away from each other and landed in a heap.

Sasuke stood where he emerged from with blue lightning streaking all around his body.

"I told you once before. Naruto's. Ass. Is. Mine."

Naruto vomited in the crowd.

"YOU GOT IT IN MY CHIP BAG!" Chouji yelled looking at Naruto unload his breakfast lunch and dinner into the potato chip bag.

"Hey SasuNaru4evar, Why are you agaisnt me? I mean your name clearly states you should be supporting me."Sasuke said...making complete sense.

Sasunaru stood up.

"It is true that I am a MAJOR fan of Sasuke and Naruto doing the Naked mambo-"

Sai had a nose bleed.

"YOU GOT IT IN MY CHIP BAG!"

"...Yeah...I do enjoy You and Naruto doing the forbidden Yaoi no jutsu but I want Naruto's hot sweet virginity to myself."

"SCREW YOU!" Naruto yelled.

"He's such a hot stud muffin." Sasunaru said.

"Plus I'm just that big of a prick." She added

"SasuNaru4evar-san." Hinata started."I am going to kick your yaoi gay porn loving ass so hard, that The fourth Hokage, the Yondaime is gonna feel it."

"My dad?"

"And Naruto's rooting for me. In fact all of Konoha is rooting me."Hinta said smugly.

"50 BUCKS ON SASUKE!"

Surprisingly Anko said this.

"60!" Kurenai said.

"12!" Sai said.

"Sai you , Douche bag you went lower." Temari said.

"300!" Hanabi said.

"I hate you all." Shino said.

Sasunaru got into a fighting stance and smirked. "Let's get serious."

Sasuke smirked.

"Thought you'd never ask."He said activating his double mangekyou sharingan.

Hinata took out an Ak-47, and two desert eagles...

As if...

She just took out one Desert eagle...

"Hinata ninja's haven't invented guns yet." Naruto said. " Which is weird because we have computers."

* * *

PLZ REVIEW!


	20. A new mystery again

"Fuck incest. I do what I want."

Neji plunged deep into Hinata letting her get took over by the orgasnic pleasure.

"YES! Cousin do me hard! do me-"

WWWHHHHHHOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAA!

sorry wrong fic...heh heh...heh

Anyway...

"Sorry but You two will be brought down by the power of the Uchiha clan. I was going to go easy on you both...but being the Uchiha I am...I'm not." Sasuke said closing his eyes.

"NOW'S MY CHANCE!" Sasunaru4evar screamed as she rushed at The last Uchiha.

"AHEM!"

Excuse me...the last LIVING Uchiha.

"Damn right." Ghost Itachi said.

Hinata saw Sasunaru rush in on Sasuke.

If Hinata knew one thing about Sasuke, it was to not run blindly at him. She thought about warning Sasunaru4evar...then common sense took over..so she didn't warn her.

"You lose Sas-GAY!"Sasunaru taunted as she took out a sword and aimed a slash at Sasuke's neck.

_SHING!_

_BOOM!_

"Uhhhh..." 2 seconds Sasunaru found her self embedded in the arena wall all the way across the arena. She dislodged her self and landed on the floor wobbily. She looked at Sasuke and was awe-struck at what she saw.

Sasuke was glaring at Sasnaru4evar with his double mangekyou sharingan activated. If that wasn't enough he also had his Susanoo warrior fully emerged and surrounding him.

"What the hell is that?" Lee said from the crowd.

"It would appear Sasuke has pulled out all the stops and will proceed to , as Hinata would say, 'Whoop off in that ass.'...she really has changed since the invasion of Rikudo pein." Neji said

"So thats Sasuke's Susanoo?" Ghost Itachi asked.

"So basically Sasuke's gonna own both of them right?" Shikamaru said.

"TOBI AGREES!"

"NO! WE GOTTA HAVE FAITH!" Naruto shouted. "MY ASS IS ON THE LINE HERE! LITERALLY!"

"This is most certainly entertaining...but It will get boring in a chapter or so. Time to spicen things up a bit." Sai said before he leveled his gazed at the back of Naruto's head.

"Why do I feel like the back of my head is being raped?" Naruto commented out loud.

* * *

Back to the fight.

Hinata was laying on her back breathing hard, cut and beat the f**k up. She open her eyes and was greeted by the sight of one Sasuke Uchiha standing menacingly over her...Susanoo still activated.

"If I was straight, this would be highly erotic Hinata." Sasuke said.

"THERE WILL BE NO STRAIGHT THINGS IN MY WORLD!"

Sasuke looked up above him and saw Sasunaru swooping down upon him with yet another sword she pulled from seemngly nowhere.

"Pity." Sasuke said before he commanded his Susanoo warrior to smack Sasunaru out of the air. She yet again found her self embedded in the arena wall.

"Why did you not phase through my attack as you did earlier in the fight?" Sasuke questioned.

Sasunaru4evar did not respond.

"I take it by you not responding, that the phasing technique requires alot of Chakra. You are now probably drained."

He then turned to Hinata.

"And as for you...If I beat the whole Hyuuga clan what makes you think I can't beat you."

Hinata just exhaled loudly.

"I believe I have won ths duel...Now for my prize..."

He turned to Naruto...or where Naruto's suppose to be.

"Where's the dobe?"

The crowd looked around murmuring similar things.

"We don't know." Kiba said.

"He was there just a second ago." Sakura said.

"Did you check under your foot?" Ino said.

"Ino, you illiterate penis, why in the hell would he be there?" Sasuke asked.

Ino got sad.

"Hey where's Sai?" Tenten wondered.

"MY CHIP BAG IS GONE!"

"MY HAIR IS GONE!" Hanabi said.

"MY BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOK!" Kakashi just can't get a break.

"MY GLAAAAAAASSSSSESSSSSS!" Neither can Shino.

"NEJI'S GONE TOO!" Tenten said.

"MY BATTLE FAN!" Temari said.

"MY BOWL CUT! IT LOOKS LIKE SASUKE'S HAIR NOW!" Lee said.

All of a sudden Hinata appeared standing in front of the crowd in the outfit she had on in chapter two.

"Have no fear the Hinata detective agency is here!" she said.

"Hinata, in the absence of the dobe. I will like to assist you in uncovering this new mystery. But make no mistake, when we find Naruto his ass is mine."

Hinata frowned. "I accept your offer, but know this. I will cut your penis off if you even think about touching my Naruto-kimi."

"TOBI WILL LIKE TO POINT OUT THAT IF THE READERS COME ACROSS A SIMILAR STORY LIKE THIS AWESOME ONE, THEN INUYONAS GAVE HIM OR HER PERMISSION!...TOBI RULES!" Tobi said calmly.

"No Tobi...Madara rules." Ghost Deva path said.

"JUST LIKE TOBI SAID!"

* * *

DUN DUN DUN! A NEW MYSTERY! WHO DID IT THIS TIME?

REVIEWS ARE REQUIRED! LOL


	21. AUTHOR'S NOTE!

AUTHOR'SNOTE!

I'd like to thank all my readers...I will continue this story but I gotta have a heart to heart first...to clear things up.

If you are wondering how I wrote this EPIC story, let me tell you that in all honesty...I never have anything prepared...I make this up as I go along. Each time I sit at the computer I click on a document in the document manager, erase the content, and make shit up as I type the next chapter so yeah...I'm awesome lmao.

First thing: If you don't like my story thats your opinion and your'e entitled to it.

Second thing: Don't hate because my story is more popular than yours just because I have more reviews...haterz smh. I should point out your name on here and Have everyone hate whoever sent me that flame email because of this story...or put her...or him in my story...but Since I'm such an awesome guy I won't.

Third thing: F**k you if you don't like SasuNaru4evar. She's like the coolest girl in the world for letting me put her as the bad guy ...girl in my story. So I would advise you to read her stories..they are awesome. ...So stop wit the hate emails...This is not for Riku Uzumaki or Ms Uzumaki...both of you are awesome. lol

fourth thing: I'm having writers freaking block! but I will finish. I just have blockage right now...maybe i should continue writing one of my other stories...or I can enlist help in writing my stories!

BINGO!

Okay If you would like to help me write anyone of my stories leave a review then message me...cuz I be real busy most of the time...so yeah...I guess I'm enlisting help now...I don't know how I should choose though...

Maybe if The review is long enoough...Or If they have been reviewing since chapter one...Who knows?


	22. So it was Sai?

AN- Well I guess this is another chapter for my awesome fans.

On another note Sasunaru4evar dedicated a scene to me in her story...I feel so special. lol She was mad at first about being the bad girl in my story, but then, being the 18 year old guy that I am, I apologized for making her seem evil when she CLEARLY is not. So yeah we're cool. LIKE BESTEST FRINEDS!...over the web...lmao we're B.F.O.T.W... But on to the story now.

* * *

"Okay, Sasunaru take us back to the Ninja ball room." Hinata said.

Sasunaru4evar did so. Everybody as back in there same seat.

"Okay Now nobody move! You are all suspects of the Anti-SasuHina detective agency." She said again.

"Hn."

"So be prepared to get brutally questioned."

"Hn."

"With lots of brutality."

"Hn."

"Sasuke."

"Hn."

"SASUKE!"

"Huh- what? I'm sorry I was in Uchiha mode. But yeah so Our first suspect is going to be..."

"TENTEN!" Hinata shouted abruptly.

Tenten jumped at the volume Hinata used.

"As my Naruto-kun would say...WHERE WERE YOU THE DAY OF THE BAFFLE DOODA DEAF?"

"UM-UH- I WAS THERE!" Tenten screamed in fear.

"DOING WHAT?" Sasuke yelled as he appeared right next to where she was sitting.

"WATCHING YOU KICK THE HYUUGA CRAP OUT OF HINATA AND THE YAOI CRAP OUT OF SASUNARU4EVAR!"

"DID YOU SEE NARUTO LEAVE?"

"NO!"

"NEJI?"

"NOO!"

"SAI?"

"MAYBE?"

O_O

"Maybe?" Hinata said.

"Yes. He said he'll be back , and a few minutes later, Naruto an Neji was gone too."

"Interesting." Sasuke added.

"I bet Sai is trying toget at Naruto's booty hole aswell." SasuNaru4evar said.

"How do we know you didn't frame Sai?" Hinata asked.

"Honestly, judging from the shit Sai has done...I wouldn't need to."

"...good answer." Kiba said.

Suddenly the doors to the ballroom swung open harshly and in came a staggering-

"Neji!" Tenten screamed as she got up and rushed over to him."

Neji was badly injured but that wasn't the only strange thing about him.

"Why are you wearing my glasses Neji?" Shino asked.

"WHy is my book sticking out of your shorts?" Kakashi asked.

"Why is my hair wrapped around your thigh?" Hanabi asked.

"...Why is my hair lke Sasuke's now?" Lee asked.

"No one knows Lee. No one knows...or cares." Shikamaru said.

Neji collapsed to his knees and uttered one word.

"Yaoi no jutsu." He then fell unconscious.

"YAOI? WHERE?" Sasunaru started to spazz out.

Anko secretly pulled out a camcorder.

Lee stole it.

"Only one person knows that jutsu." Sasuke said.

"Sai." Hinata said.

Then Suddenly the doors swund open again. A tenage girl walked in. She looked about Hinata's age. She had long midnight black hair that was put into a low ponytail at the base of her neck and her bangs were swept to the right side of her face. Her eyes were a crystal blue color that made the ocean look dull on its best days and she was tall and fair skinned. I won't lie; she was told by many that shewas beautiful, even gorgeous. The aura around was so bright it was blnding.

"OH MY GAWD!" ghost jaraiya said as his nose started to bleed.

"MY EYES! IT BURNS!" Sasunaru4evar said.

"She's beautiful. She looks to be the embodiment of pure heaven. Can it be?" Hinata said. "Are you the great and powerful and beloved...NARUHINA4EVAR?"

"...My name's Lily..." The gorgeous girl said.

Everyone in the room sweat dropped.

"Screw you Lily. You just ruined the moment." Hinata said as she activated her byakugan. "For that you must be eliminated."

Lily got scared. "Wait! I bring news from Sai."

Everyone gasped.

"What is it?" Sasuke asked.

"He says don't look for me or it's Naruto's ass...literally."

"Now that we know what he said we are totally going to do the exact opposite and look for him." Sasuke said.

"And since your work is in done, you are not needed Lily." Hinata said.

"Twin Lion Jyuuken palm!"

Needles to say Lily was decapitated , cut in half by the waist and had her brain turned to mush...and then died.

"Our next objective is a search and destroy mission." Sasuke said .

* * *

SO YEAH! REVIEW!

also I think the next chapter will be the last one...or close to it...if you review.


	23. The end of Sai and Sasuke

AN-I remember when some girl sent me a message and said she didn't like my story...and called me a preteen fanbrat...And I'm older than her...but yeah I checked over her stories...She's a really talented author mind you...but her stories are soooo f**king boring that she could put 13 year old Gaara to sleep...and he _**NEVER **_sleeps...and this story alone CRUSHES ALL OF HER STORIES! I GOT MORE STORIES THEN SHE HAS REVIEWS! LMFAO

MATTER FACT F**K EVERYBODY THAT I SAID ANY STORY I WROTE COULDNT GET PASSED 50 REVIEWS! ALL Y'ALL CAN EAT ONE!

now on to the story...but before that I wanna thank mizzgirlygirl0 for helping me with the last chapter of who did it

* * *

"Okay here's the plan." Sasuke began. "We will split up into groups of two-"

"LIKE AKATSUKI!" Tobi interrupted.

"...we'll split up into pairs of two-"

"LIKE AKATSUKI!"

"...Then-"

"LIKE AKA-"

Sasuke appeared in front of Tobi and Uchiha b***h slapped him across the room.

"We'll split up into pairs of two and search for Naruto."

"Right." Hinata said.

"The groups are as follows:

"Gaara and Lee." Hinata said.

"YOSH!"

"SAND!"

"...yea."

"Sakura and Shino." Hinata said

"Okay." Sakura said.

"BUzz."

"...yea."

"Kankurou and Chouji."

"Cool."

"I'm going to destroy Sai...from the inside out." Kankurou said.

"...yea."

"Shikamaru and Temari." Sasuke said.

"What a dr-"

"Finish that sentence and you'll be eating my fan for dinner." warned Temari.

"Temari...you can eat one. Just like all those people who doubted the great and Legendary Inuyonas."

"yea."

O_o

"How in the world did I end up on the other side of the doors?...and why is there a human shaped hole in it?...and why am I on the ground?...More importantly why does my anus hurt?" Wondered Shikamaru.

"Tenten and Neji...when he wakes up." Hinata said.

"Why would you send Neji out again when you know he cant do anything because of the Yaoi no jutsu?" Ino said. "It's ill logical and will cause problems." Ino finished as she adjusted her big round nerd glasses that appeared out of nowhere.

"Ino..." Neji started."I appreciate you putting actual thought behind you reasons but...Logic has a brother, and his name is SHUT THE F**K UP YOU GAY DIKE!"

"...yea."

"WHO THE F**K KEEPS SAYING THAT!" Iruka shouted from the jounin table.

The whole room looks at Sasunaru4evar.

"What?"

"Do you keep saying yea?"

"Yea."

"SHE DID IT AGAIN!" Iruka said.

"Stop saying yea, or we will beat you up. You got that?" Anko said.

"Yea."

"AGAIN!" A random villager said.

Kurenai squeezed the bridge of her nose.

"Okay." she started. "If you continue to annoy us, I will Punch your teeth so far down your throat that you will have to stick a tooth brush up your ass just to brush them. Do you understand?"

"yea."

"THERE'S NO GETTING THROUGH TO THIS WOMAN!" A random villager said.

"Anywho... I need all the pairs of two to start looking for Naruto-kun now." Hinata commanded.

"Yes go look for Dobe-kun." Sasuke added.

A unanimous Hai was heard and all the pairs of two exited through the doors.

"Okay." Sasuke started. "GHOST SQUAD FRONT AND CENTER!"

"HAI!"

Ghost Tobi, Itachi, Deva Path, Jaraiya, Asuma and...no wait I think that's it. They appeared before Sasuke.

"You five will lead everyone else in a wide scale search mob." Sasuke Explained

"TOBI WAS SLASH IS AND FOREVER WILL BE A GOOOOD BOOOY!"

"..."

"..."

"..."

"...Yea."

"DAMNIT!" Shouted Iruka from the Jounin table.

"Right... But all the ghosts are in charge-"

"What about me. THE HO-F**KING-KAGE!" Tsunade yelled cutting him off.

"Oh right...I forgot. Tsunade will be in charge...the ghosts will be second in command." Sasuke said.

"Except Sasuaru4evar." Hinata said. "She is coming with us."

"Why Hinata-chan? Don't trust little ol' me?" Sasunaru said in a southern bell voice.

"No I don't trust you. Thanks for asking that specifically accurate question though." Hinata said as she bowed respectfully.

"Weird white eyed freak." Sasunaru said.

"D**k sucking slut f**k faced whore bag." Hinata retaliated.

"Very well then." Tsunade said standing up. She then pointed torward the door.

"Let the village wide search-mob began searching!" She yelled as everysingle person in that room began rushing out the doors in a mob like fashion.

Where they got the torches from? Only kami knows...and she's being a selfish B**** by not telling me where.

* * *

In a dank and cold room there was a boy.

No.

A teen to be exact.

This teen was chained to the wall of this dark dank damn room.

20 feet off the ground to be exact.

This teen was chained by his wrists and ankles. His limbs were spread out like he was making a snow angel...in the snow... and he got stuck with his legs apart...

So picture him unconscious against the wall like that.

Yea.

Perfect.

This teen was male (obviously). He had spiky blonde hair and six whisker like marks residing on his face.

He was only clad in black ANBU styled pants.

When I say only I mean ONLY.

This means no socks.

Or shoes.

No shirt.

No head band.

and not even Underwear...or boxers...or briefs.

and for those sick minded individuals...a.k.a Yaoi fangirls...

COUGH*sasunaru4evar*COUGH*COUGH*msuzumaki*COUGH COUGH

No thongs or panties of that sort.

Just strictly pants.

that were black.

...and maybe sweat.

But you can't wear sweat so it doesn't count.

But just to be clear he was sweating.

"Wakey wakey Naruto-kun."

In that dark dank damn dark ass room.

There was another boy.

No. Teen to be exact...

* * *

MEANWHILE!

with Gaara and Lee.

"G-GAARA! we s-should stop this, w-w-we need t-to search Naruto-kun-AAAAH!" Lee screamed as his bare back hit the wall.

They were both in an alley way.

"Look Lee, I like you and I want you. Now we can do this the easy way or the hard way." Gaara said as his pants hit the ground around his ankles.

O_o

"I do welcome this Youthful activity but, not now-"

"That sounds like the hard way to me Lee." Gaara said as sand shot out the gourd on the ground behind Gaara.

Gaara made a hand sign and said the most terrifying thing Lee heard in his life.

"Yaoi Suna Bunshin no jutsu."

Now there were five Gaaras around lee.

Gaara smirked

"Oh dear youthful kami."

Now let us check somewhere else before the author is forced to type something he regrets

* * *

With Sakura and Shino

"Shino...I love you."

"Sakura...I love beetles and grasshoppers...then Ninja stuff...then ants...then more ninja stuff...then My glasses...then cock...ROACHES!(Honestly some of you are just plain perverts) then you Sakura."

Sakura was mortified.

No she was pissed.

How dare he not love her!

She sucked his Cockroach without the roach part for crying out loud!

She was getting angry

Beyond angry

absolutely furious.

She clenched her fists.

She was so mad that she involuntarily gathered an normous amount of Chakra in her body.

"Sakura?" Shino said worried about her well being.

"YOU DON'T HAVE THE RIGHT TO CALL MY NAME TREE HUGGER!"

"You have a leaf on your ninja headband too y'know."

"SHUT UP!"

"AAAARGH!"

Sakura grabbed her stomach. She was in tremendous pain.

"Shino help!"

"I don't know medical ninjutsu. What do I do!" Shino began to panic aswell.

"I don't-aaah!" She screamed loud as she doubled over clutching her stomach.

"SAKURA!"

**SLINK!**

...UM...

Well

you see Out of all possible thins that could have happened...

Even the great author didn't know this was coming.

"Sakura what on earth is that?" SHino asked.

Apparently a 2 foot metal rod erupted form Sakura''s...Crotch area through her pants.

Sakura smiled deviously

"Now shino, I like you, and I want you. We can do this the easy way or the hard way."

O_o

Shino became OOc and started to cry...from his shades.

* * *

MEANWHILE with the crowd

"DEATH TO SAI!"

"DEATH TO SAI'S ART!"

"DEATH TO YAOI!"

DEATH TO ITACHI!"

"I'm already dead you ungrateful pricks!" Itachi said.

The crowd was running across town causing havoc to anything that crossed their path.

"WE SHALL FIND SAI AND DESTROY HIS ONE THING HE WANTS ABOVE ALL!" Tsunade declared.

"Naruto?" Tobi asked.

"...on second thought just keep on causing havoc."

* * *

In that dark dank room was a black haired boy.

Staring at Naruto.

Only this time Naruto was staring back

"WHy did you chain me up sai?"

"Did I command you to talk?"

Naruto twitched.

"I could go Kyuubi mode and eliminate your existence...but for the sake of this story I'm going to do the complete opposite and NOT do that. Why you ask? because common sense is frowned upon in this show. I mean really, the bad guys are the people that kill you silently or stealthfully and the good guys charge right in. What kind of crap is that!" Naruto ranted.

"um...Anyway...Naruto I'm drawing the perfect scenery for me to ravage your sweet tight asshole in.(AN- You guys don't know how hard it is to type something like that. *shudder*)

"Well I have faith in my friends." Naruto said.

"Faith is bull crap." Said sai smiling that creepy smile.

"Now shut up and let me draw-"

**BOOM!**

"STOP THIS CRAZYNESS!"

Someone burst throuh the wall

* * *

Hinata and Sasuke were walking down the street searching for our favorite blonde haired shinobi.

Both had their doujutsu activated and both were wanted Naruto before the other did.

"Hey where's Sasunaru4evar?" Hinata said.

"Hn."

"I thought I said to come with us."

"Hn."

"Sasuke."

"No Sakura I don't wanna date you...I wanna date Naruto's ass.

"Well Uchiha You are not my type either. I prefer men with Big ...Kunais...not barely half of a shuriken."

That woke Sasuke up.

"What did you say you whore?" Sasuke seethed.

Hinata giggled." I see all with these eyes, Sasuke. ALL.

Sasuke blushed at that statement.

Suddenly Hinata stopped walking and glared at the side of a building.

"I think I located Naruto." She said.

"What makes you so sure" Sasuke questioned.

"Look at the sign."

Sasuke looked. The sign read: NARUTO IS MOST CERTAINLY NOT IN HERE.

"Yea...Whoever wrote that sign is clearly retarded." Sasuke said.

Just then they saw the search mob run by and stop infront of them.

"HEY LOOK AT THAT BUILDING!" Yelled Deva path.

"IT SAY'S NARUTO-KUN ISN'T THERE!" Ghost tobi yelled.

"Oh well let's keep looking then." Ghost Jaraiya said.

The mob speeded awaay.

"..."

"...only Jaraiya." Sasuke said shaking his head.

"Anyway it's time to save Naruto-kun!" Hinata said as she dashed at the building.

"JYUUKEN PUNCH!" Hinata punched through the wall and the whole side collasped.

They were shocked at what they saw.

"Kankurou?"

"Are you doing your puppets again?" Hinata asked.

"NO!"

He ignored the fact that they could clearly see his naked body on top of Karasu's lifeless body. Karasu appeard to have a pained expression on it's face.

"Sure your not."

* * *

MEANWHILE!

"STOP THS CRAZYNESS!"

Naruto and Sai looked at the person who said this.

"SASUNARU4EVAR!" Naruto said.

"So you found us." Sai said drawing his sword.

"Indeed." She said drawing her sword."I am a changed taught me something. She taught that true love still exists. So Sai I am no longer after Naruto's delicious virginity. But I will not allow you to wreck his asshole.

"Well let's stop stalling."

_**FRENCH FISH FROM SPONGEBOB: 2 HOURS LATER**_

"Damn." Sasunaru said as she laid on ground gasping for breathe.

She had cuts and bruises all over her body. she had blood all on her clothes and face. All in all she looked beat the hell up.

Sai had a few scrathes here and there.

"Well That was fun." Sai said sarcastically.

"But now it' time to claim Naruto-kun."

"Oh hell no it's not." Naruto said from the wall.

"Naruto those chains eat chakra." Sai informed him.

"...You cliche'd son of a B***h." Naruto commented.

Sai walked torwards Naruto and reached for his pants.

Naruto's eyes bulged out.

Then suddenly a sword like thing erupted from the ground underneath sai threatening to stab through him.

Sai jumped back in time.

The sword like thing was long and sharp...the funny thing was that it was made from blue electricity.

"So more people have found me."

Sure enough Sasuke emerged from where the Chidori sword peirced the ground from.

"Sasuke Uchiha. I've been wanting to test my strength against yours." Sai said smugly.

"Sai, have you forgotten I beat the whole Hyuuga clan? I killed Orochimaru TWICE! I owned in the battle of the five kages and Helped defeat Madara Uchiha. Sai you have no hope of winning."

"All bark and no bite Sasuke."

Sasuke heard this from behind him. He turned his head and in that instance Sai had appeared right behind him aiming a stab with his sword at the back of Sasuke's throat.

"SASUKE!" Naruto screamed.

"Sasuke!"Sasunaru4evar shouted weakly.

**SPLELTCH!**

The sickening sound of flesh being ripped into was heard. and the shocking sight of a sword protruding out of Sasuke's throat was saw.

"Sasuke Uchiha. Last of the Uchiha clan is dead now." Sai said.

Then the unthinkable happened.

"Like I said before. You have no hope of winning." Sasuke said before he bursted in to a bunch of big white snakes

"GENJUTSU!" Sai said.

"I learned that from Orochimaru."

"OOf!"

Sai heard that right before he was kicked from behind and skided across the floor. He got up got ready again. But he couldn't find Sasuke.

"The next move I use will be from my doujutsu."

Sai heard this all around him.

"JYUUKEN B***H SLAP!"

All of a sudden Sai's head rocketed backard and his body followed.

He rolled on the ground and stood back up as fast as he could and caught sight of Hinata standing in front of him.

"My my Hinata. Just when I was going to unleash Amaterasu." Sasuke appeared right next to her.

"...You still can."

"...touche."

Needless to Say Sai was roasted to death because of common sense.

"Naruto is finally safe." Hinata said.

"Not quite yet."

"What-argh!"

She was cut off because Sasuke picked her up by the neck and slammed her back down on the ground rendering her unconscious.

"HINATA!" Naruto said.

"Shut up dobe." Sasuke appeared in font of Naruto and smacked him.

"Youre going to get it dobe. ANd you're gonna like it." Sasuke activated his Sharingan. He grabbed Naruto's chin.

Just then Sasuke noticed a kunai heading straight for his leg to fast for him to dodge. So he moved as fast as he could backwards but the Kunai still scraped the front of both his thighs and hit the hall with a squelching sound. He paid it no mind. He turned and saw Saunaru4evar standing in a position as if she already thrown something.

"You missed." Sasuke said smugly.

"Um Sasuke?" Naruto said.

"What?"

"You're bleeding."

"Thats what hapens when you get cut."

"Sasuke. Your'e bleeding bad."

Sasuke decided to look at he thigh and he noticed th front of his pants was soaked in blood. His knees started to go weak.

"Was that Kunai poisoned?" He asked aloud.

Naruto looked at the Kunai in the wall.

"!"

He then threw up.

"What the hell dobe?"

"LOOK AT THE KUNAI!"

Sasuke looked at the Kunai.

The kunai was stickking in the wall.

He also noticed it was pinning something to the wall aswell.

It looked like a fleshy hot dog.

As far as Sasuke knew he didn't have any hot dogs growing-

"AAAAAAAAAAH!"

And that's when it clicked.

Sasunaru4evar had chopped Sasuke's penis off.

O_o

Sasuke curled up in the fetal position.

Hinata woke up and kicked Sasuke then freed Naruto.

"NARUTO!"

Naruto,Hinata and Sasunaru looked at the hole in the wall created by Sasunaru and saw everyone from the ninja banquet.

"WHOO!" Chouji yelled. "Naruto is safe! Naruto is- Is that a hot dog?" He asked and ran torwards it.

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!" Nartuo screamed.

But it was all for naught because by the fourth O in Naruto's screamed Chouji devoured the "Hotdog".

EVERYONE LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER!

THE END

* * *

REVIEWS ARE NECESSARY BECAUSE IF I DON'T GET ALOT I WILL WRITE SOMETHING EVEN MORE DISGUSTING IN ANOTHER STORY!

LOL BUT FOR EAL THO.

PLZ REVIEW

AND AGAIN THIS IS THE FINAL CHAPTER.

THANK EVERYONE WHO READ IT.

THANK SASUNARU4EVAR

THANK MIZZ GIRLYGIRL0 FOR GIVING ME SOME IDEAS.(NARUTO UNCONSCIOUS FOR ONE)

AND THANK YOU!


	24. Neji's log part 1

OKAY I KNO WHAT I SAID BUT I JUST THOUGHT THIS WOULD BE FUNNY...LOL

IT WILL BE FROM NEJI'S POINT OF VIEW

Warning:OOC Neji...Very OOC Neji

* * *

_Neji's log Chapter 2_

"Is that true Lee?" I asked scared out of my mind that manliest boy I know...would like it up the man hole.

"Um..uh...er..Yes!" Omg...I can't handle this awkwardness!

Thats why I did the safest thing...

I fainted...

Let it be known now that as a Hyuuga I am trained to know what goes on around me eve when I am unconscious...

Don't ask...

I catch bits of info...

"...One night stand with Sai..."

DID NARUTO JUST SAY LEE HAD A ONE NIGHT STAND WITH SAI?

He probably did it with weights on...

BUT THATS NOT IMPORTANT! LEE IS DISGUSTING!

EW EW EW EW EW EW EW!

Shikamaru is right. This is some sick shit.

...

...

...

...

HAHAHAHAH I GET THE POSSE JOKE!

* * *

_Neji's log Chapter 3:_

I see being gay didn't change Lee much. He's still trying to be like me..

He even fainted like I did...FIND YOUR OWN DAMN NINJA WAY!

"NEJI IS BUTT NAKED ON THE DANCE FLOOR!" Naruto screamed.

OH Wow...If Lee was half the Ninja I was then he would know that there is no dance floor..

But it is still shocking that Naruto said I was naked and Lee shot up straighter than Tsunade when Jiraiya is around...

Wait ...that came out wrong...

Silly Tenten...don't calm Lee down...He's never down.

And he is not trying to seduce me.

As if it could work...I'm straighter than Hinata when Naruto is around...

Curses! I did it again.

Why would Gaara be so sure about Lee not taking his gourd...?

unless...

"..Lee and I .,... are having an affair..."

O_o

Wtf Lee? Since when?

So wait lemme get this straight.

Lee likes me...

but is screwing Gaara?

But Gaara was with Matsuri...

But Matsuri is screwing Shikamaru...

And Shikamaru and Temari are dating...

What the bloody hell is goingon with ninjas these days?

And now Shikamaru is knocked out..

_Neji's log Chapter 4:_

OMG Naruto. How many times does the Uchiha have to say it?

IT IS STILL DAYTIME

and I bet it was Shikamaru...always acting like he'slazy...but I bet he leads a double life...

Lazy by day..

Exciting by night! Dun Dun DUn!

Yeah ok I'm done now.

"...But that doesn't stop you in the bedroom..."

Wait...What did SAi just say?

Is the Kazekage screwing Another guy? Damn...

So...Lee is being cheated with and on by the same Guy...

GAARA IS A PIMP!

...

And Sai is disgusting..

I really wish I would wake up...

_Neji's log Chapter 5:_

Damn! Hinata got the Hyuuga shit punched outta her!

I mea I would be mad to if you called me a saggy old whore...

BUt I'm not saggy...

or old...

or Sakura (BURN!)

...

...

...

Yeah old people's affairs...Not gonna elaborate on this

* * *

**LOL I THOUGHT THIS WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA CUZ I WAS STILL GETTING REVIEWS...BUT PLZ TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK! IN REVIEWS!**


	25. Neji's log part 2

_Neji's log chapter 6:_

So Sai is the next to get blamed. I'm not surprised.

Sai is a sick sick bastard...

That and the fact that he bolted out the room...

Yeah...

"...How dare you talk to me that way? I'm a Hyuuga.!The clan with the best Doujuttsu in the world!"

"Er...Sorry to disappoint you Hanabi...but my doujutsu is the best in the world...only second to the Rinnegan." Sasuke added.

What? Does Hanabi actually think that our Byakugan is the best in the world?

I mean sure we can see through stuff and chakta and chakra points...but the Sharingan is a whole lot more complicated.

It can see chakra...copy jutsu...hypnotize people (Kakashi, and Itachi),control people without them knowing (Shisui Uchiha), and don't even get me started on the mangekyou sharingan..(Madara, Itachi, Sasuke and Kakashi).

And thats why Sasuke is kicking all the Hyuuga's asses...

Clan brutality must run in his family...

Naruto and HInata and SAi came back!

_Neji's log chapter 7:_

"WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?" Hinata screamed.

Their were bodies of Hyuuga clan memebers sprawled all through out the room. Most on the floor, some on the tables, two on the ceiling...etc.

"SASUKE WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO?" Naruto screamed.

"!" Sasuke was sitting back in his seat.

"WHAT THE HELL? WHY DID YOU AUTOMATICALLY BLAME ME?"

"I walk into a room with unconscious bodies of clan members in it...and there is an Uchiha in here...WHO THE HELL ELSE SHOULD I BLAME?" Naruto shouted back.

Highlight of the whole chapter lol

Now that was the funniest exchange I have ever heard...

It is so true too.

And Sai is innocent...figures...

But what the hell is Yaoi no jutsu?

Something that would probably cause me to faint again...again.

_Nej's log chapter 8:_

Whoa! INo is screwing Shikamaru!

Who was screwing Matsuri...and Temari

And Shikamaru screwed Sai...

Sai is starting to get on my nerves with all this henge bull shit...

If he is gay then he shouldn't be transforming to other genders and screwing guys...

How does that even work?

He transformed his penis into a vagina? inside and out...

too much thinking...

Damn! Temari just slapped the fuck outta Matsuri...

I need to wake up pronto...

* * *

part 2 of what neji thinks! review!


	26. Neji's log part 3

_Neji's log chapter 9:_

uh...Lee and Tenten are still arguing over me?

Just face it Lee. I am not nor will I ever be gay...

Gosh.

"...SHUT UP SLUT-SLUT!" Lee sat back down and pouted.

If Lee calls Tenten a slut one more time, I'm ging to wake up, get up and kick his yaoi face in!

You know what? screw the ass kicking!

...and the getting up...

What I'm saying is I just wanna wake up.

And now they are blaming the beautiful and wonderful Tenten.

Oh how I adore her..

And she adores me...

No other guy dare touch her...

"...OKAY! IT WAS SASUKEEEEEEE! HE GROPED ME WHEN THE LIGHTS WENT OUT!" Tenten screamed with anime tears comin from her eyes.

...

...

...

It appears that once I wake up, we will have no more Uchihas...

CUZ IM GONNA KILL THAT SONOFABITCH!

LEMME AT HIM!

LEMME AT HIM!

Lemme wake up first though...

Neji woke up

I FINALLY WOKE UP!

Chouji was on his 67th millionth plate.

Shikamaru woke up.

The sun did not go down yet.

Sasuke activated his sharingan out of nervousness and started sweating.

"SASUKE-TEME!" Naruto said."SO WHO THE HELL IS THE THEIF?"

"Dobe don't listen to her...It can be night time if you want Naruto."

"WHY ARE WE IGNORING HYUUGA PEOPLE'S UNCONSCIOUS BODIES ALL AROUND THE ROOM!" Iruka said from the other table.

_SMACK!_

"THAT'S FOR THE HYUUGA CLAN BITCH!" Hinata had just bitch slapped Sasuke. So hard his left sharingan eye deactivated.

Oh Yeah! Beat him Hinata!

"What did Sasuke do?" I asked.

But I didn't care...I just wanted negative attention on him...

Tenten turned red.

Sasuke finally activated both his sharingans and looked dead in Tenten's eyes.

Don't hypnotize my woman Sasuke you peon!

"HEY! NO MANGEKYOU SHARINGANING!" Naruto said still standing on the table.

"MY BOOOK!" Kakashi screamed.

"What the fuck? They didn't even mention it." Konan said. (bout time she spoke)

"I read it with my mangekyou sharingan once."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"...weirdo."

Tenten broke her gaze away from Sasuke's.

"No Sasuke-kun,I have to tell them."

Tell them whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?

The whole crowd listened intently. The thoughts were filling the air with things like:

_'Is she seeing the uchiha?'_

_'Sasuke's screwing the weapons mistress?'_

_'SCORE!'_

_'Hinata-chan is soooo sexy...LIKE RAMEN!'_

_'I wish Chouji would move his fatass..'_

_'I hope to kami that Sai isn't involved this time.'_

Tenten stood up.

"I have been having an affair with Sasuke."

SASUKE

MUST

DIE

TODAY!

The crowd gasped.

Sakura smacked Sasuke.

"What the hell? Why'd you hit me Sakura? We're not together."

"But-I-but-..." Sakura blushed."I want you so bad Sasuke..."

Why is Lee looking at me like Naruto does ramen?

Suddenly Lee jumped over the table and Kissed ME.

!

"YOSH BITCH!" Lee screamed after he kissed Neji.

I promptly passed out again.

"LEE WHAT THE HELL?" Tenten scremed.

"NEJI'S FREE NOW! YOU'RE F**KING SASUKE!"

Damn you Lee! Now I can't kill Sasuke...

Just you wait Sasuke, Your uppance will come.

_Neji's log Chpter 10:_

Now Shino's being suspected.

I bet he didn't do it.

...Shino pulled his hood over his eyes so they were not visible.

"My apologies, but when I don't have my shades I get ..._different"_

"Oooookay?" Kiba said.

"Before the NaruHina detective agency presents me with ludicrous accusations as to why they assume I am the culprit, why don't we use the crowd as a type of jury?" Shino suggested.

"Thats crazy!" Naruto began. "But it just might work..."

Hinata jumped on the table with Naruto.

"OKAY LISTEN UP! WHAT ARE THE CROWDS THOUGHTS TOWARD THE CASE? WHO DO YOU THINK DID IT?" Hinata shouted to the crowd.

OH I GOTTA HEAR THIS!

Here are some responses she got back:

"SAI! I DON'T LIKE HIM!"

"KIBA!, HE'S SUSPICIOUSLY QUIET!" Kiba then growled.

"NEJI! NOBODY CAN STAY UNCONSCIOUS FOR THAT LONG!" Neji's eyebrow twitch...he's still knocked out mind you.

Well thats one less villager we need not worry about.

"IT WAS JARAIYA'S GHOST! I BET HE'S AT THE HOT SPRINGS NOW WITH SHINO'S SHADES TRYING TO BE INCOCKNITO!...I KNOW WHAT I SAID!"

Come to think of it...why are ghosts here anyway?

"...Well whats your dirty secret?" Naruto asked Shino."Kami knows yours would be the most interesting."

"I do not have secrets."

That liar! Just last week he told me he might join the academy teaching staff!

"GOT DAMNIT I CAN'T TAKE THE PRESSURE!" One moegi said standing up.

"LOVE ME LEE!" Gaara said.

"NEVER! YOU LOVE SAI!"

"NO THATS NOT TRUE! I LOVE SAND!...AND YOUUU!"

"NEVEEEEER!"

"Then I must kill Neji." Gaara spoke.

OH HELL NAW!

GAAARA'S GONNA KILL ME WHILE I'M OUT COLD!

WHY COULDN'T THIS BE HAPPENING TO SAKURA?

Nobody cares about Sakura.

Actually I can name two people who do.

One's a guy and his name is "No"

The other is a girl and her name is "One."

NO ONE

"NO!" Tenten and Lee said.

"If I can't have you, then nobody will." Gaara said as Sand appeared out of thin air and headed torward the unconscious Neji.

"

HOLD ON!" Naruto roared in his demonic voice. Everyone stopped what they were doing.

"What are you talking about Moegi?" Naruto asked.

"I CAN'T TAKE IT! SHINO, BABY, THEY HAVE TO KNOW!" Moegi screamed. "I'VE BEEN SCREWING SHIIIIINO!"

O_o

O_O!

O_o?

O_O!

I WILL NEVER LOOK AT SHINO THE SAME WAY AGAIN

This is too much for one chapter...

* * *

PLEASE REVIEW!


	27. Neji's log part 4

_Neji's log chapter 11:_

So last chapter I learned that The Konohamaru squad are screwing everything with legs...

AND THIER 12!

HANABI HYUUGA SCREWED A GIRL AND A GUY!

AT THE SAME TIME!

MY COUSIN'S A SLUT!

A SLUUUUUT!

Who would have guessed?

And Sakura has been seeing shino...

Apparently it's okay to go out of your species now...BUg boy and Sakura...

Yep SHino...I can't believe you went out of your species for that Pink thing...

But hey To each his own...

"...SAKURA! YOU CHEATED WITH WHO I WAS CHEATING WITH! YOU WHORE!" Moegi shouted

Really Moegi? And you think that that's okay?

"...Let's ask the crowd what should happen to Sakura." Naruto said.

This ought to be interesting.

Here are someof the responses he got:

"KILL THE BITCH!"

"HANG THE BITCH!"

"CUT THE BITCH'S HEAD OFF!"

"GET THE BITCH DRUNK, THEN FUCK THE BITCH! THEN LEAVE THE BITCH PREGNANT!"

How bout get the bitch drunk, DON'T fuck the bitch , then leave the bitch pregnant...

You peons will never understand how my minds work...

So dont even try...

"THE BITCH IS A GIRL?"

Oh Lee...You poor poor gay thing you...

If you were as smart as you are gay...Your genius would be ummatched...

Except by mine of coursed...

Except I'm not gay...but you know what I mean...

Just forget I said anything.

And now Sasuke is Tsukiyomi-ing everyone...

WHy is he doing that?

"...SHUT UP! WITH YOUR STUPID MONICLES! AND YOUR STUPID SUIT AND YOUR STUPID SPARKLY BLONDE HAIR! AND YOUR DAZZLING CERULEAN BLUE EYES! AND-AND..." Sasuke just stopped and fell to his knees.

"NARUTO I LOVE YOU!" He shouted.

WHOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

I take back about wanting to be conscious

Because this shit just evolved from weird and disgusting ...

...to Sakura Haruno (Burn x3 XD)

_Neji's log chapter 12:_

Apparently Hinata just knocked the shit out of Sasuke

YEAH! BEAT HIS ASS!

"...SO IT'S LIKE THAT SASUKE?" Tenten screamed.

"Sorry Tenfour, but my heart belongs to a certain blonde..."

Tenten...Why are you mad at Sasuke?

Don't tell me you loved him...

well he's gay now so it doesn't really matter...

Wait a minute...SAsuke screwed Tenten...

and now he's gay...

could that mean...

Tenten turns men gay?

NAH!

I hope not...

WHoa wait a minute...back up...

Tenfour?...really Sasuke?

What kiss are they talking about?

NAruto and Sasuke kissed?

What the hell went on after I left the academy?

...

...

...

...

...

"IT WAS MEEE!"

Hinata's gonna kill em...I just know it...

All heads turned to a guy that stood up at a random table. He had black hair in a ponytail.

Nobody noticed Hinata was not standing over Sasuke anymore.

Naruto hopped on the Jounin table.

"Get your feet outta my noodles!" One irate Iruka said.

"SO YOU'RE THE THEIF!" Naruto said pointing at the guy.

"No."

Naruto face vaulted.

"So who are you?" Konohamaru said.

"I'm the guy that bumped Naruto and made him kiss Sasuke."

Hinata just killed him..right then and there.

O_o

O_o

"THANK YOU SOOOOOOO MUUUUUUUCH!" Sasuke screamed.

Apparently no one else saw it.

Naruto glared.

"You turned my best friend gay! along with Orochimaru's help but still...YOU!" Naruto said as he lunged at the guy.

"WAIT!"

Sasuke tackled him out of the air. They landed on another table.

"Don't attack him! He showed me who I was on the inside."

"Damnit Sasuke! He made you gay!"

"So!"

"SASUKE WTF!"

"Hey guys."

All heads turned torward Tsunade.

"He's already dead."

O_o

Sure enough when everyone in the room looked over to where the guy was, he was laying on the table on his back, with his face in a way that made it look like he was in extreme pain.

"Shino check how he died." Tsunade ordered.

By Hinata...DUH!

Shino sent his Kikaichu beetles over to the corpse.

They came back a second later.

"Report." Tsunade ordered.

"His heart exploded inside his chest. There is also a burn on his back where his heart is. But this is not just any burn, It's a chakra burn. It's also in the shape of a hand. The only people who I know that sends chakra in the body and attack organs are the Hyuuga. So it was... death by a Jyuuken Strike."

DUN DUN DUN!

Naruto turned and pointed his finger dramatically at someone. Then spoke.

"WHY'D YA DO IT NEJI?"

You retarded loaf of meat...Do you not see the unconsciousness I am currently in?

* * *

Review plz! I'm tryna reach over 300!


	28. Neji's log part 5

_Neji's log chapter 13:_

Hinata's a killer now...

GO HYUUGAS!

"...Naruto you dumb dumb blonde." Shizune said all out of character like..

"Wait a minute Sasuke." Sakura began."If you're gay how comeyou kept killing whoever shouted SasuNaru 4 eva?"

"...good question...well I ddn't want someone telling my secret."

"Sasuke How in the hell are you gay?" Shikamaru said magically waking up.

"Yes I would like to know as well."

"As I"

Lee and Gaara woke up.

So everyone but me gets to wake up huh...

Thats bullshit man...

But hey it could be worst...

I could be Sasuke...

I still don't get how a tough badass guy like Sasuke can be gay...

If that's possible than Sakura might NOT be useless...

NAH!

She still is...

...Sasuke sighed. "FIne then, I thought it wouldn't have to come to this."

Sasuke jumped on the tabe.

"Naruto remember when you were fighting Gaara? Well when both of you were at your last leg and after you punched him in the face, you fainted."

"Okay so whats your point?" Sakura asked.

"Well Naruto, did you ever wonder why you woke up with your anus hurting?"

O_O  
O_O  
O_O

SASUKE WHAT IN GODS NAME CAUSED YOU TO RAPE A HALF DEAD PERSON?

Time stopped

Sakura gasped.

Kiba barked.

Chouji choked then fainted.

Temari was still beating Matsuri

Itachi's ghost got fainted and landed on Jaraiya's ghost...who was already fainted.

The sun FINALLY went down.

Naruto choked and gasped.

Hinata secretly took out a kunai.

Konohamaru faiinted.

Hanabi tried to take advantage of him.

Moegi punched Hanabi.

Konohamaru still got raped by Moegi...undeer the table.

Neji woke up-

YES! YES! I'M UP!

BOUT DAM TIME!

-but unfortunately when Tenten heard what Sasuke said she gasped and dramatically through her arms out...hitting Neji upside the head...knocking him out.

GODDAMNIT TENTEN! I WAS UP!

I WAS FUCKING CONSCIOUS!

GOD DAMNIT!

DAMNIT!

FUCK-DAMNIT!

"...Sorry to disappoint you Sasuke, but that was not Naruto you ravaged."

Sai should be arrested for half the shit he says...

O_O

"For one time in my life Sai, I'm glad to have you around." Naruto said.

"Sai you are lucky because you get to live for another chapter." Hinata said under her breath.

killer Hinata is awesome...

If only she was strong nough to kill Sasuke...

"Huh?" Naruto said.

"NOTHING!" Hinata sputtered.

"Sai you weren't even on the show back then." Kiba said.

"Allow me to clarify. I was under a mission to gather information on how Jinchuuriki fought. I was monitoring the battle and I gotta say...It was the most intense moments my pants could handle-

25 TO LIFE FOR THE PREVIOUS SENTENCE!

-When Naruto passed out ,I immediately substituted with him and had other ROOT agents ak him to the hospital. I henged and...you know the rest. But I gotta say Sasuke, A chakra enhanced penis was...different.

Add another 5 years for that last sentence

You know what Sai...

I hate you. I do not condone sleeping around with ninja's without using Protection...or at all for that matter.

I sentence you sai, to the most horrific punishment I can think of...

3rd base with Sakura (Burn x4)

_Neji's log chapter 14:_

So lemme get this straight...

Kiba screwed Kurenai-sensei

When he first became a genin...

got her pregnant...

all the while having another affair with his SISTER...Hana Inuzuka...

...

...

...

Hey it could be worst...

Sakura could be pregnant...(burn x5)

...Shikamaru flew out of his chair at Kiba.

"YOU BASTARD!"

Naruto and Hinata had to intercept him and hold him back. Unfortunatley Shika managed to throw a ceramic plate.

Neji Hyuuga had been unconscious from the start. Maybe now would be his time to wake up.

YES! IT'S ABOUT DAMN TIME! I'VE BEEN UNCONSCIOUS SINCE LEE CONFESSED HE LIKES TO SWALLOW BALLS!

...But as luck would have it, a ceramic plate came out of nowhere and smashed against his head knocking him out yet again...poor Neji.

Y'KNOW WHAT!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!

I CAN'T TAKE BEING UNCONSCIOUS ANYMORE!

AND CHOUJI KEEPS EATING MY FOOD!

"...KIBA WHAT THE F**K!" Tsume said from the clan head table.

Hana fainted from embarrassment.

Here are some reactions from the crowd.

"KIBA THAT'S INCEST!"

"NO THAT'S BEASTIALITY!"

"I CAN'T BELIEVE THESE ARE OUR PROTECTORS!"

"THE B***H IS A GIRL?"

"SASUNARU4EVA!"

"STOP RIGHT THERE!" Hinata said.

All eyes turned to her.

"What's your name? The one who keeps sreaming Sasunaru4eva?"

A girl walked up to Hinata with jet black hair going down her back and beautiful brown eyes. She looked to be 15 years old with a gorgeous body. The very sight of her caused Jaraiya's ghost to have a nosebleed.

That girl...she's ...she's...

BEAUTIFUL!

Don't ask me how I can see her because I'm unconscious...I'ma Hyuuga bitch...

But that gorgeous gorgeous girl!

OMG She's so fine...I wouldn't mind hittin that from the back mmm...yum...

"Sasunaru4eva?"

"Okay but's whats your name?" Hinata asked again.

"Sasunaru4eva?"

I think that's her name Hinata-sama..

"LOOK WHORE! IF YOU DON'T TELL ME YOUR NAME I WILL GUT YOU LIKE A FISH!" Hinata screamed.

DON'T SCREAM AT HER SEXY SEXY SEXY GORGEOUS ASS!

Why are my pants getting tighter?

"Hinata-chan? I think thats her name." Naruto said.

Hinata blushed.

"Gomen..."

"It's okay." Sasunaru4eva said.

DAMN SHE'S HOT!

But no one can ever know my secret attraction to her...

* * *

LOL PLZ REVIEW!


	29. Neji's log part 6

AN- I GOT OVER 300 REVIEWS!1 WOOOOOOHOOOOO!

ON ANOTHER NOTE...I GOT A MESSAGE FROM SOMEONE WHO WAS ASKING FOR MY PHONE NUMBER BECAUSE HE THOUGHT I WAS GAY...because of this story...

O_O

I LAUGHED MY ASS COMPLETELY OFF!

Seriously it's gone...

But to clear up the rumors...I'm not a yaoi fanboy...or gay for that matter...

The yaoi in the story just makes the story funnier...

Am I right?

Now on to Neji's log!

* * *

_Neji's Log chapter 15:_

Look at that fine fine woman flaunt her beautifulness in front of Hinata-sama.

If she was my homework then I'd do her every night!

She won't need her car keys to drive me crazy about her!

If I was conscious...I'd be all like: Baby...let's go behind that rock and get a little boulder...(XD)

She must have a mirror in her pocket cuz I can see me in her pants!

The whole room was quiet...

Nobody made a sound...

Hinata had two Kunai out...

SasuNaru4evar was just standing there smiling

With her sexy ass...

Hinata was getting pissed off...

"So you mean you want Naruto-Kun to be gay?" Hinata questioned.

"YEP!" SasuNaru4evar said.

Hey as long as she doesn't want to screw Naruto I don't give a fuck..

I mean it could be worst for Naruto...

It could be -(Insert Sakura bash here)...yeah

O_O

"WHY?" Naruto asked before Hinata killed...again.

"YOSH! SHE IS VERY YOUTHFUL IN THE WAYS OF HOMOSEXUALISM! SHE IS A GIFT FROM KAMI!" Lee screamed.

"(cough)Shinigami(cough)" Tenten coughed.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY WHORE-WHORE?" Lee asked politely...as if.

I would take up for Tenten but...Sasunaru4evar stole my heart away...

Tenten stood up.

"YOU WANNA GO B***H?"

"YOSH B***H!"

"Hold on."

O_O

Surprising everyone in the room Neji said this.

WHEN IN THE HELL DID I WAKE UP?

"Oh." CHouji said.

"My." Konohamaru added.

"SASUNARU4EVAR!" Sasunaru4evar shouted.

Naruto was sweating bullets...

_'For some unexplainable reason that I can't explain...Hinata-chan gets pissed whenever that is said...she must have an overwhelming sense of not being gay.' _Naruto thought.

"Neji is finally awake." Shino said.

"Yes. I am. I would like to know who the theif is too." I said trying to hide the growing bulge in my pants...

It's not working damnit...CURSE MY GIANT COCK!

Who the hell needs 14 inches anyway?

It slows me down while I'm in battle...

"So Why do you want me to be gay?" Naruto asked SasuNaru4evar.

"Because, it is the will of the creator." She said.

"Kami?" Naruto asked.

"No." She answered.

"...Shinigami?"

"No."

"...Rikudo Sennin?" (The sage of six paths)

"No."

"...Rame-"

"NO NOT RAMEN YOU BAKA!" Sakura was about to punch Naruto in the head...until.

"Oof!" Sakura got knocked away by a powerful blow to the stomach.

Hahahahahahahahahahaha!

It's funny when Sakura's in pain..

"Don't you dare touch my future...pink bitch" Sasuke said standing menacingly over Sakura with his Sharingan activated.

"It is the will of Kishimoto-sama-senpai-dono" Sasunaru4evar said.

Kishi-who-hoe?

Who the hell is that?

"Who the hell is Kishimoto?" Naruto asked.

My thoughts exactly

O_O

"Poor poor boy." Deva path said.

"He is the reason we are all living."

"And yet he wants me gay."

"You will obey." Tsunade said.

"Or what?" Naruto asked.

"It is not wise to disrespect our creator." Shizune said.

"I'LL DISRESPECT WHOEVER I WANT IF THEY WANT ME GAY!" Naruto defiantly said.

"And I'll be there to support you Naruto-kun!" Hinata said.

"Fate has already decided Naruto-kun." SasuNau4evar said.

She has the voice of a porno...

CAPTIVATING!

"F**K YOU NEJI!"

O_O

"I DIDN'T EVEN SAY ANYTHING!"

Now if Sasunaru had said that I would have been all like :When, where, how and can you take 14 inches of Pure Hyuuga Neji into your amazingly tight vaginal orafice?

Yeah I woulda said all that and then some...

"Sorry force of habit...but F**K FATE!" Naruto corrected.

"You don't seem to understand." Sasunaru4evar said. "I am his right hand man...well girl."

"You're his right hand?" Kiba asked.

Suddenly someone banged their hand on the table and stood up.

"IT WAS MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! I'M THE THEIF!"

O_O

...I don't even care anymore...

All heads turned into the direction of whosaid this.

"CHOUJI!" Ino screamed shocked and or flabbergasted.

"YOU STOLE MY BOOK!" Kakashi screamed revealing his Mangekyou Sharingan.

"YOU STOLE MY SAND GOURD!" Gaara said forming the little sand that he still had in his hand ready to use like a bullet made of sand.

"YOU STOLE MY MAKE UP -ER WAR PAINT!"Kankurou said pulling out his three puppets virtually from nowhere.

"YOU STOLE MY GREEN!" Lee said as he unravelled his wraps around his forearms and opening the first gate.

Shino stood up slowly.

"You...stole...my...!" He didn't even finish as bugs flew out of his sleeves and surrounded him.

"I'm sorry." Chouji said.

"SORRY DON'T F**KIN CUT IT!" Kakashi said. "I'm about to use my ultimate attack." Kakashi said again.

He then pulled down his face mask.

O_O

"OH MY GAAWD IT'S HIDEOUS!"

"IT'S UNREAL!"

"WHAT THE F**K MAN?"

"Is it too late to blame THAT on Madara?"

"PUT IT BACK!"

"PLEASE!"

"UNYOSH!"

"UNYOUTHFUL!"

Sakura threw up.

Some people lost consciousness.

Damnit I fainted in the process...

The moon blew up...so the sun came back

Sasuke threw up.

Kiba Meowed.

Hanabi fainted.

Konohamaru fainted.

They both got raped by Moegi under the table.

Shikamaru leapt up in the air and landed on the table crying for his NOT troublesome mommy.

Naruto's mind shattered...like Yami-Yugi used mind crush on him.

Hinata staggered back then threw up.

The whole jounin table threw up.

The whole crowd threw up.

The unconscious Hyuuga bodies threw up.

Tobi's ghost came back and appeared next to Itachi's, Pein's, Jaraiya's and Asuma's. Tobi was Tobi, not Madara this time. Tobi's mask threw up.

Chouji threw up so much...he looked like Nagato in that machine thing.

Kakashi pulled his face mask back up.

"Whoa...why didn't you do that when Rikudo Pein attacked?" Tsunade wondered as Shizune continued to throw up.

"Because I forgot."

I bet your wondering what was under there...well go to google (dot) com ...Type in blue waffle...click on the first one...then you'll see what Kakashi has under his mask...

* * *

LOL PLZ REVIEW!

PLZ

PLZ

PLZ


	30. Neji's log part 7

_Neji's log chapter 16:_

Well last chapter I learned that The perfect and wonderful in everyway SasuNaru4evar wants to screw Naruto...

Welp...Looks like I gotta kill the Yondaime's son...along with his gay best friend Sasuke...

And thats another thing I want to address...Naruto is the spitting image of the fourth...

How could nobody see that?

When Naruto told us that he was the yondaime's son...

We fainted...

Yep...I pulled a Hinata...

Come to think of it...

All Jinchuuriki are related to their current or previous Kage.

Gaara was the yondaime Kazekage's son.

Kirabi(Killer bee) is the current Raikage's brother...

Yugito Nii was Killer bee's neice or something...

The Sandaime Mizukage WAS the Jinchuuriki of the sanbi...(Three tailed demon...)

ANd Naruto is the Yondaime Hokage's son.

Yep.

ANd he's gonna die when I awake.

Nobody will be screwing Sasunaru but me!

I'ma be all in dem guts son!

She's gonna be screaming for me to stop.

I'ma bury all 14 inches of Neji Hyuuga cock deep in her pussy!

Then I'ma cum!

Then I'ma pull out and cum on her stomach!

Then she's gonna blow me down!

You heard me...

BLOW

ME

DOOOOWN!

Then i'ma release the biggest nut the ninja world has ever seen!

DOWN HER THROAT!

SHE'S GONNA CHOKE!

THEN IMA-

_Neji's log chapter 17:_

Sorry, I got a little carried away last log..

When I finished my rant my ginormous cock tore a hole through my ninja pants...

yea...

But apparently SasuNaru want's Naruto's virginity...

I bet Sasuke wants his ass with his yaoi fagness and crap

I better listen as to what's being said:

...

"Enough of this foolishness!" Sasunaru4evar said. "Naru-kun has a job to do."

I am sooooo jealous

Hinata glared at her.

"No."

"No?"

"No."

"No?"

"Yes No. I will not let you take advantage of Naruto-kun." Hinata then activated her Byakugan. "Prepare yourself."

Hinata better not kill her...

Or I'll tell my uncle that people just don't like to get naked and hug like Hinata said her and Naruto were doing that time..

Sasunaru sighed. "I was hoping it would not have to come to this but oh well." SHe snapped her fingers and Sasuke appeared in front of her."

"Sasuke?"

THE BANE OF MY EXISTENCE!

"Naruto, I am a firm hater of NaruHina. It's just not right. Can you imagine Blonde Hyuuga's, or Dark haired people that are Hyperactive...minus Konohamaru." Sasuke said.

I can

"Sasuke you're siding with her?" Hinata asked.

"It would seem that way."

"Then you will be buried right next to her."

WIth my foot still stuck up his ass...

"Handle things Sasuke." Sasunaru4evar said.

Sasuke activated his regular sharingan and smirked.

"With pleasure."

Suddenly he unsheathed his sword turned around and plunged it through Sasunaru's neck.

O_O

The crowd was stunned by this.

SASUKE YOU EMO FUCK! YOU JUST KILLED THE MOST GORGEOUS PERSON THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEEEEN!

NOW WE'RE STUCK WITH UGLY BASTARDS LIKE YOU!

AND SAKURA!

AS IF SAKURA'S EXISTENCE WASN'T BAD ENOUGH!

DAMNIT SASUKE! YOU ALWAYS FIND A WAY TO MAKE THE WORLD HATE YOU!

THE WORLD HATES YOU!

EVEN THOUGH YOU WOULD PROBABLY KICK MY ASS IN A FIGHT!

THATS WHY OROCHIMARU RAPED YOUR ASS!

WHY COULDN'T YOU JUST STAY WHEREVER THE HELL YOU WERE BEFORE NARUTO FOUND YOU AGAIN!

FUCK!

FUK!

SON OF A-

FUCK!

Chouji stopped eating.

Shikamaru gasped

Neji gasped

Apparently I'm awake now...

Sai stopped raping that man.

That's the same man from all them chapters ago...

He must be dead by now..

Moegi stopped kissing Hanabi.

Hanabi stopped riding Konohamaru.

They all came from under the table.

What the hell were they doing?

Sakura looked in awe at her gay crush.

This turned Sai on.

Lee looked...like Gai's son.

"And yet I am unfazed by Uchihas murdering people. I bet she was ANOTHER clan memeber Sasuke." Naruto said.

"Shut up dobe. I did you a favor." Sasuke said still holding the blade that was plunged through Sasunaru4evar's neck.

Then the unthinkable happened.

"Naruto still has a job to do."

O_O

"It can't be!"

"Nothing makes sense anymore!"

Well I'll be a prepubescent little boy named kyle...

Lemme rephrase that...

...Well I'll be Sakura (Burn x8)

SasuNaru4evar jus spoke with a sword impaling her throat.

"What the f**K man..." Iruka said.

Sasuke removed the sword and jumped back.

The wound on Sasunaru healed.

"I will always be here as long as homosexuality exists."

She is so damn fine...

My 14 inches is as hard as a rock jutsu

"Some how I saw this coming." Shikamaru said.

"I don't care. Even if you are immortal, you cannot have Naruto-kun." Hinata said.

"Correct me if I'm wrong but all we gotta do is kill everyone thats gay right?" Kiba said.

O_O

"Thats alooooot of people." Tenten said

That is aloooooot of people like Tenfour said...

* * *

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	31. Neji's log part 8

_Neji's log chapter 18:_

Well it would seem that Hinata-sama wants Naruto to cherish and to love forever...

SasuNaru4evar wants his penis in her guts...

And Sasuke wants his own penis in Naruto's butt.

Ew...

But it could be worse...

It could be Sakura's butt. (Burn x9)

Sasunaru4evar has a very interesting name...

I bet she has alot of fans...

Fans of Sasunaru...pun intended

I'm just glad we didn't meet NejiLee4evar

or ItaDei...or even SasuHina...

Or SakuSasu

or SakuNaru

or Sakusai

Definately not SakuNeji

I can't even imagine what my reaction would be to NaruJiraiya...

But I wouldn't mind NejiSasunaru...

No you sick fucks not me and Naruto and Sasuke..

Me and SasuNaru4evar...

I swear some of y'all are just perverts at heart. No matter what gender you are...

...or you want to be...

COUGH*(smut maestro)*COUGH (lol)

I need to stop zoning out and listen to whats being said...

"...Well it seems we have a problem." Sasunaru began. "We all want the same thing." My beloved Sasunaru said.

"No we don't." Hinata started."I want to love and cherish him forever and ever."

"Me too...just for this one night... forever and ever." Sasunaru said said.

"Well I want his asshole over and over." Sasuke said.

"Well I have a solution to all our problems." Sasunaru said.

The whole room got quiet for this.

I wonder...

"Three way baffle dooda deaf!" Sasunaru4evar said.

What the hell is that?

It sounds like a S.T.D...You know...

A Sakura Transmitted Disease. (Burn x10.)

"I'm sorry what now?" Konohamaru said.

"Is someone deaf?" Ino said.

"Who's deaf?" Lee said.

"What?" Teneten said.

"I said whose deaf?" Lee said

"What?" Tenten

"Tenten are you deaf?" Lee said.

"What's a baffle?" kiba said.

"Can we eat it?" Chouji said.

"Gaara why are you still trying t kill Neji?" Lee asked.

Apparently I'm unconscious again...

and the Kazekage is trying to kill me.

"Shut up hoe."

"Buzz."

"Bark."

"Icha Icha." (You know who said this."

"Naruto's in deep deep shit." Sakura said.

"DAMNIT EVERYBODY SHUT THE HELL UP!" SasuNaru4evar said.

The room went silent.

"I sneezed. What I meant to say was BATTLE TO THE DEATH!"

gasps were heard throughout the room.

""I'll fight to till I die for Naruto-kun." Hinata proudly said. The hyuuga bodies were still throughout the room mind you.

"I'll fight for his ass...and I do mean his ass." Sasuke said.

"And I will fight for that one magical night of passion." Sasunaru said.

Suddenly Sasunaru clapped her hands together...then the unthinkable happened.

Everyone was transported to a hightech battle arena. The unimportant villagers were seated around the battle dome much like a Basketball game. The actual battle dome was enclosed in 20 feet thick reinforced glass. The rookie 12 were stationed in dug outs...protective dugouts around the arena. Sasuke was standing in the middle of the arena. SasuNaru was facing him. Hinata was standing behind Sasunaru.

"Let the games begin."

Hinata rushed at Sasunaru4evar from behind.

"Jyuuken death strike!"

WATCH OUT FOR HIINATA'S PALM OF FURY!

AND HER ANTI YAOI NO JUTSU!

* * *

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ON EVERY CHAPTER!

I WILL APPRECIATE IT!

IF YOU REVIEW YOUR NAME GOES ON THE AWESOME LIST NEXT LOG!


	32. Neji's log part 9

**AN- SHout out to all my fans!**

_**The awesome list:**_

**Kanshisha Kitsune- You are awesome.**

**Hana-01- Your awesome aswell**

**Mi3staR-You are super awesome for sticking with this story for so long. :)**

**footsock08-You are awesome...I will not question your taste in usernames...nope I'm not gonna ask lol**

**Sasori into the nothing- Another awesome person.**

**Leaf Ranger- Another awesome trooper whose been with me from the start. It brings tears to my eyes to see such dedicated fanfic-ers lol**

**riias luvs anime- What more can I say? She luvs anime...**

**diggix-A true die hard fan. I also won't question your taste in usernames..lol**

**Special shoutout to Sasunaru4evar...thats a real username if you didn't know...anywho...she's the most awesome for letting me put her in my fic...I can't stress that enough...I mean, she probably would be angry if my fic wasn't popular lol...good thing it is...**

If you want your name on the awesome list then review plz!

On to the log!

* * *

_Neji's log chapter 19:_

Okay now I'ma guy...and as a guy I'm gonna be paying major attention to the fight...

Even if I'm unconscious or not cuz I'm still lost on that...

Yea...

Hinata jumped at Sasunaru4evar and aimed a Jyuuken strike at her Back.

"Jyuuken death strike!" She yelled planning to kill Sasunaru...but knowing the author ...it wont be that easy.

Sasunaru just stood there still staring at Sasuke. Acting as if she didn't hear Hinata's loud scream of promising eminent death.

Sasuke smirked. _'I guess Hinata's gonna take her out for me.'_

When Hinata reached her, Hinata jabbed her palm at Sasunaru's back.

WATCH OUT SASUNARU4EVAR! HINATA'S COMING AND YOU'RE ABOUT TO GET IT FROM THE BACK!

There wasn't a word in that previous sentence that wasn't erotic...

Now let's try word substitution. Replace "Hinata's" with "I'm" right...

Now replace "and you're about to get it" with "while I'm hitting it."

Now we have : WATCHOUT SASUNARU4EVAR! I'M COMING WHILE I'M HITTING IT FROM THE BACK!

What a beautiful sentence. Playing with words is fun.

Now let's try to make this sentence not erotic at all...

Take out "WATCH OUT SASUNARU4EVAR! HINATA'S COMING AND YOU'RE ABOUT TO GET IT FROM THE BACK!" and replace it with "...Sakura's face..."

So now we have:WATCH OUT SASUNARU4EVAR!...Sakura's face..."

Yeah It just got softer than cotton. (Burn x11)

"Heh." Hinata swore she heard Sasunaru4evar chuckle.

Then the unimaginable happened.

Hinata's hand went throughSasuNaru as if she were a ghost. It phased through.

"What in the hell?" Tenten said in the stands.

"It appears She has the same power as Madara Uchiha." Neji said.

"You're awake?" Tenten said.

I'm awake?

"Yes." I said. Might aswell milk the shit outta this shit.

"TOBI THINKS SHE'S A CHEAP IMITATION OF TOBI!" Ghost Tobi said.

Silly tobi...Everyone knows you don't think.

Sasuke looked shocked for a second then returned his expression to the infamous uchiha glare.

"It seems this won't be as easy as I thought." Sasuke said.

"You're damn right it won't."

Sasuke heard this from behind him. Sasuke's ninja senses told him to duck. But being the Uchiha that he is...He jumped instead. It was a good thing he jumped toO because right after he left the ground Sasunaru appeared right where he was with her fist punching the ground. a crater appeared here she punched.

"HOLY KYUUBI ON A STICK!" Yamato said. Every eye turned to him since this was his first appearance in this fic now.

Who the hell is that?

"Sasuke Uchiha, you seem to be faster than I tought." Sasunaru said.

This is the same Sasuke Uchiha that ended Orochimaru's existence.

He's badass...so why would you expect to be faster than a badass ninja?

noob.

Now let's replace the "n" with a "b"

Now we have "Boob."

Lol lol Word play is fun.

Sasuke landed 15 feet away from her and glared at her. SasuNaru seemed unfazed by the Uchiha glare.

But inwardly Sasuke's thoughts were. _'THAT COULD HAVE BEEN MY ASS!'_

How do I know this? I'm just that badass

"Shut up wench. I will prove that SasuNaru is destined to happen, but I will do it my way. And that means you are not needed." Sasuke said.

Who says wench anymore?

SasuNaru smiled. "We'll see."

Suddenly she felt the air shift in front of her.

A milisecond later SasukE was crouched directly under her, sword aimed at her stomach , and Sharingan blazing bright red.

"Yes we will see." He plunged the blade at her abdomen, but she back flipped backwards out the way.

"Damn Uchihas are fast...like crack heads."

Sasuke ran at her.

"Naruto's ass is mine!"

"NO HE'S NOT YOU GAY SLUT!"

Hinata there's no reason to name call now...

Sasuke is not a he anymore. (Sasuke burn x1)

Hinata swooped down on Sasuke like a Hawk on a blind mouse...except the mouse was Sasuke.

"HA!" As Hinata was falling she aimed a Jyuuken kick at his head.

SasukE's ninja senses told him to conserve chakra and substitute out the way...but being the Uchiha that he is...He shushined out the way...cuz it looked cooler.

Hinata splintered the ground wit the kick.

"Damn...I missed." Hinata said.

No shit

"I wont."

Hinata turned her head and saw SasuNaru throw a punch at his head...which was kinda dumb cuz the Byakugan lets you see BEHIND you aswell. Hinata ducked and Jyuuken blocked her fist, then grabbed her wrist.

Sasunaru4evar smirked. "It seems we are evenly matched."

I don't think you are...Hyuuga's rule.

Hinata glared."So it seems."

Suddenly a figure emerged from the ground beneath them with blue lightning in both his hands. He struck both girls in the stomach.

"OOF!"

"GAGLE!"

They flew away from each other and landed in a heap.

Now Sasuke is just stupid strong and that is just not fair.

Sasuke stood where he emerged from with blue lightning streaking all around his body.

"I told you once before. Naruto's. Ass. Is. Mine."

Naruto vomited in the crowd.

"YOU GOT IT IN MY CHIP BAG!" Chouji yelled looking at Naruto unload his breakfast lunch and dinner into the potato chip bag.

Where did he get chips?

"Hey SasuNaru4evar, Why are you agaisnt me? I mean your name clearly states you should be supporting me."Sasuke said...making complete sense.

Sasunaru stood up.

"It is true that I am a MAJOR fan of Sasuke and Naruto doing the Naked mambo-"

Sai had a nose bleed.

"YOU GOT IT IN MY CHIP BAG!"

No comment

"...Yeah...I do enjoy You and Naruto doing the forbidden Yaoi no jutsu but I want Naruto's hot sweet virginity to myself."

Naruto must die... at my hands

"SCREW YOU!" Naruto yelled.

No damnit! Thats what I want to do to her.

"He's such a hot stud muffin." Sasunaru said.

MUffin's aren't studs...

"Plus I'm just that big of a prick." She added

"SasuNaru4evar-san." Hinata started."I am going to kick your yaoi gay porn loving ass so hard, that The fourth Hokage, the Yondaime is gonna feel it."

"My dad?"

"And Naruto's rooting for me. In fact all of Konoha is rooting me."Hinata said smugly.

"50 BUCKS ON SASUKE!"

Surprisingly Anko said this.

"60!" Kurenai said.

"12!" Sai said.

100,000 on Sasuke!

I have that much...I'm just sayin.

"Sai you , Douche bag you went lower." Temari said.

"300!" Hanabi said.

"I hate you all." Shino said.

Sasunaru got into a fighting stance and smirked. "Let's get serious."

Sasuke smirked.

"Thought you'd never ask."He said activating his double mangekyou sharingan.

Hinata took out an Ak-47, and two desert eagles...

As if...

She just took out one Desert eagle...

We are not in the desert and there are no eagles around...what in the hell did Hinata pull out...

"Hinata ninja's haven't invented guns yet." Naruto said. " Which is weird because we have computers."

Yea...What ever.

* * *

PLZ REVIEW!


	33. Neji's log part 10

AN- I GOT OVER 300 REVIEWS!

CAN I MAKE IT TO 400?

I HOPE.. (I really want to)

My fans are the most awesome people ever to grace this planet with their awesome-ness.

The awesome list:

Sasunaru4evar- My favorite fan. She 's been with this fic since I only had like 3 reviews...Not only that but she's IN the fic. (I wish someone would put me in a fic lol) She even flamed this guy that flamed one of my stories for me...bless her yaoi loving heart. And she's a great author.

Chewie cookies- Another dedicated fan who shares my love for Anime ...and Cookies which are chewable.

ambergur-pyon96- They love this story...it says so in their review lol...You are also another whom's tastes in usernames will not be questioned (lol) All in all an awesome person.

Mi3staR- Second time on the awesome list. Still the awesomest fan. (Only second to Sasunaru4evar lol)

KunoichiHyuuga-She likes to bash sakura...I like to bash Sakura...How could she not be awesome?

Leaf Ranger- Another awesome to the core person. If I had my own Anbu ...he would be Itachi...(Does that mean he would kill his family and run off? As long as we're not related it's not my problem lmao)

Crazy guy with sign- He says the same joke has been used throughout all the chapters...I completely agree with you. The running joke is Bashing Sakura and making Sai creepy as hell...but its still funny. And he added to my number of reviews :)

On another note you guys ...and girls...and Smut maestro(XD jk)... should check out this Naruto story called Confusion over Tea and ice...It'a a NaruHina story and it is so cool...It's by Adelle-chan ...also check out my Legacy of Itachi Uchiha story...It's my favorite story but it's not popular...:(

Now on with the log!

* * *

_Neji's log chapter 20:_

"Fuck incest. I do what I want."

Neji plunged deep into Hinata letting her get took over by the orgasnic pleasure.

"YES! Cousin do me hard! do me-"

WWWHHHHHHOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAA!

sorry wrong fic...heh heh...heh

Anyway...

WHAT IN KAMI'S NAME WAS I DOING TO HINATA-SAMA?

OH DEAR KAMI, JESUS CHRIST!

OH GOD!

THAT WAS DISGUSTINGLY HORRIBLE!

THAT WAS HORRENDOUSLY DESPICABLE!

THAT WAS MOST HEINOUS!

THAT WAS GUT WRENCHINGLY VOMIT INDUCING!

GOD DAMNIT I JUST WANNA PUNCH SAKURA!

"Sorry but You two will be brought down by the power of the Uchiha clan. I was going to go easy on you both...but being the Uchiha I am...I'm not." Sasuke said closing his eyes.

"NOW'S MY CHANCE!" Sasunaru4evar screamed as she rushed at The last Uchiha.

NO DON'T GO DO IT! I NEED YOU ALIVE!

cuz sex with a dead body is not all that glamorous.

Actually it's not glamorous at all.

Having sex with a corpse is like doing it with Sakura...

You're sticking your dick into something disease ridden (Burn x12)

"AHEM!"

Excuse me...the last LIVING Uchiha.

"Damn right." Ghost Itachi said.

Was that really neccessary?

Hinata saw Sasunaru rush in on Sasuke.

If Hinata knew one thing about Sasuke, it was to not run blindly at him. She thought about warning Sasunaru4evar...then common sense took over..so she didn't warn her.

Hinata is probably going to warn her. She can't stand the sight of someone getting their ass kicked. She is too kind of a person.

"You lose Sas-GAY!"Sasunaru taunted as she took out a sword and aimed a slash at Sasuke's neck.

_SHING!_

_BOOM!_

Too Kind of a person my Hyuuga ass! THE BITCH IS BAD!

"Uhhhh..." 2 seconds Sasunaru found her self embedded in the arena wall all the way across the arena. She dislodged her self and landed on the floor wobbily. She looked at Sasuke and was awe-struck at what she saw.

Sasuke was glaring at Sasnaru4evar with his double mangekyou sharingan activated. If that wasn't enough he also had his Susanoo warrior fully emerged and surrounding him.

What the hell is that?

"What the hell is that?" Lee said from the crowd.

I JUST SAID THAT YOU GREEN BITCHFAG!

"It would appear Sasuke has pulled out all the stops and will proceed to , as Hinata would say, 'Whoop off in that ass.'...she really has changed since the invasion of Rikudo pein." I said ignoring what I wanted to say to Lee.

"So thats Sasuke's Susanoo?" Ghost Itachi asked.

"So basically Sasuke's gonna own both of them right?" Shikamaru said.

"TOBI AGREES!"

"NO! WE GOTTA HAVE FAITH!" Naruto shouted. "MY ASS IS ON THE LINE HERE! LITERALLY!"

"This is most certainly entertaining...but It will get boring in a chapter or so. Time to spicen things up a bit." Sai said before he leveled his gazed at the back of Naruto's head.

Why is Sai looking at the back of Naruto's head like he want's to rape it?

"Why do I feel like the back of my head is being raped?" Naruto commented out loud.

* * *

This is where things get complicated...

As the fight progressed I noticed Sai pull out a bowl of Ramen and sprinkle something in it.

My first thought was: Where the hell did he pull the bowl from?

My second thought was: what did he sprinkle in it.

"Ramen?" I heard Naruto say as he turned around and gaped at said bowl of Ramen.

How did he know Ramen was here? He must have Ramen radar in his brain.

"Do you want some Naruto-kun?" Sai asked in that Gay evil voice he always has.

"Do I want some? Is sakura Useless?" (Burn x13)

So Naruto shares my opinion of said useless kunoichi.

He may live another day...

Sai handed the bowl to Naruto.

"Done!"

DAMN HE JUST HANDED THE SHIT TO YOU NARUTO!

YOU CAN'T JUST SWALLOW YOUR FOOD LIKE THAT YOU RETARDED BAKA!

"Uh...I'm getting sleepy..."

Why is Naruto all of a sudden getting tired?

And why is Sai smirking more than usual?

I don't like where this is going...

Naruto's shoulders slumped and his head slumped forward.

He fell unconscious sitting up. Sai grabbed his shoulder.

Then Sai glanced in my direction.

"Catch us if you can Neji-chan. Ja-ne."

HE SHUSHINED AWAY!

HE'S GOING TO DATE RAPE NARUTO'S BUTT!

Only their not on a date...

BUT IT SURE AS HELL IS RAPE!

NOT IF I CAN HELP IT!

WATCH OUT SAI BECAUSE YOU ARE ABOUT TO BE PURSUED BY THE...

NEJIGAN DETECTIVE AGENCY!

NEJI IS MY NAME AND GAN MEANS EYE...SO NEJI'S EYE...YEAH IT NOT ONLY SOUNDS COOL...

IT IS COOL!

I activated my Bloodline and spotted Sai 100 yards away sprinting on the roof tops.

I shushined and landed 30 feet behind him sprinting aswell.

"SAI GIVE UP YOU WHORE! YOU CAN'T OUT RUN ME!" I screamed at said yaoi shinobi.

"NEVER!"

* * *

LOL PLZ REVIEW!

REMEMBER IF YOU WANNA BE ON THE AWESOME LIST THEN REVIEW!

also i want 400 reviews...


	34. Neji's log part 11

AN- Thanks for the reviews! I am so not obssessed with them...

...

I'M NOT DAMNIT!

_The Awesome list:_

Leaf Ranger- The will of fire burns strong within this one. AWESOME PERSON!

Adelle-chan- A new fan whom I have much respect for because she is a legendary Author. If she were a Sannin she would be Tsunade...Just not that damn old. Lol

Mi3staR- Their awesomeness never fades. It's like if Mi3staR had a jutsu...it would be the Awesome no Jutsu...

Hana-01- She says she hopes I get over 400 reviews...How could she not be awesome?

Unnamed Reviewer-wow indeed.

riia luvs anime- You know she is great, cuz she loves anime...yeah.

Rei Sagara- WANTS TO NOMINATE MY STORY FOR THE FANFIC AWARDS IN APRIL AS BEST HUMOR AND BEST MYSTERY! ...And it's all thanks My awesome fans...and most importantly Sasunaru4evar. Do I thank her too much?

KunoichiHyuuga-She likes the Sakura owns. hehehehe...more on the way.

Wild-dog84-says I'm obssessed with reviews...Isn't every author? lol WHo doesn't like reviews...lol But seriously I thank Wild-dog84 for reviewing my story. Wild dog84 is awesome at it's maximum.

ON WITH THE LOG!

* * *

_Neji's log chapter 21:_

SCREW THE AUTHOR'S NOTE!

_Neji's log chapter 22:_

Damn, since when did Sai get this damn fast?

It's like he took ninja steroids...If those exists.

I thought he would slow down because he had Naruto slung over his shoulder but boy was I wrong.

I guess the thought of ravaging a booty hole excites him.

"You will never catch me Neji-chan."

"QUIT CALLING ME CHAN YOU NINJA PROSTITUTE!"

Suddenly he jumped in between the buildings.

"You're not gonna lose me that easily!"

I followed suit.

I landed in the alley way facing sai.

He smirked at me.

I can't stand that smile. It reminds me of Gin Ichimaru from Bleach.

...

...

...What the hell IS Bleach?

"Are you just gonna stare at my body all night or should take the first step?"

I flinched at the double meaning in his sentence.

His word plays are nothing to be played with...

...

...

It made sense before I said it okay...

"Sai I will not let you rape a fellow shinobi." I said Keeping my stoic Hyuuga mask on.

"Well what are you gonna do about it?"

He put Naruto down behind him.

Then drew his short sword and pointed it at me.

"If you wish to stop me then hate me. Detest me with every fiber of your being."

He then opened his eyes.

That look in his eyes...

The look of a true psychopath. He glared at me with that psychotic look.

"And come once you possess the same eyes as I do."

What the hell is he talking about?

My eyes are better.

WAAAAY Better.

Come to think of it...Isn't that what Sasuke said Itachi said to him when Sasuke's clan was just murdered?

THAT LINE STEALING BASTARD!

What's he gonna steal next?

Jutsus's?

Suddenly he dashed at me with his short sword ready to stab at my face.

I ducked just in the knick of time. The sword was extended above my head.

I capitalized on the opening.

3 Jyuuken strikes to his stomach had him staggering back clutching his abdomen.

"Give it up Sai. You will not win in a taijutsu match against me."

Damn I'm cool.

Wait a minute...His chakra is fluxuating...I pushed even more chakra to my byakugan...

Suddenly Sai erupted in a splash of black ink.

"An Ink clone? How is that even possible?" I ranted.

"The same way yaoi is possible...Writers."

I heard this whispered in my ear.

Acting on pure instinct I dove forward.

It's a good thing I did because a sword found it's way to the space my head was occupying a few seconds before.

I rolled away from Sai and stood up and faced him.

Naruto is behind me! I could just take him and get the hell outta here!

But to make this story more like the show...I'm going to ignore all common sense and drag this fight out.

"I told you once before. You cannot and will not have Naruto."

Sai chuckled...WHy did he chuckle?

"Neji-chan, Neji-chan...You still don't get it do you? This story is called "WHO DID IT?" "

He then pointed his sword at me again.

"And you better believe that I did it. Naruto's ass will be mine!" He shouted.

I just thought of something clever.

"No Sai, I'm afraid you are the one that is truly misinformed. This story is not "WHO DID IT?". "

I narrowed my eyes and smiled an evil one.

"This is "WHO DID IT: Neji's log BITCH!"

After I shouted this I fazed in front of Sai and delivered a thunderous right hook to the left side of his face.

He flew back to the opening of the alley and landed on his back.

That felt so damn good!

Now if only that had been Sakura on the receiving end of my vicious punch...

Sai staggered up shakily.

"What power. It's a shame you have to be put be down."

Correct me if I'm wrong but arent I winning?

He pulled out his drawing scroll and smirked at me.

"Well Well Neji. Would you be willing to pose for me?" He said in that annoyingly voice that he has.

"Hell no."

"It does not matter anymore."

Somehow He drew a black ink version of me that quick...

Wow...

Why is the ink me shirtless?

"Now for your partner."

"My partner?"

WHat was he talking about?

He then drew Rock Lee...

I do not like where this is going...

He made the ink drawings face each other.

Then he glared at me and uttered a jutsu that has scarred me for life and the after life..

"Yaoi no jutsu."

* * *

PLZ REVIEW!

HOW WILL NEJI REACT TO SAI'S JUTSU?

WILL NARUTO WAKE UP?

WHAT IS GOING ON IN THAT BALLROOM?

TUNE IN NEXT TIME FOR ANOTHER EXCITING EPISODE OF NEJI'S LOG!


	35. Neji's note

AN-

Neji: NO SCREW THAT!

Inuyonas: What? Screw what?

Neji: YOU! THIS IS MY BLOG! SO IT"S NEJI"S NOTE!

Inuyonas: Ok fine...bitch

Neji: WHAT?

Inuyonas: Nothing...

Neji: That's what I thought...bitch...

Neji's note-

HEY GUYS! Neji here with a special announcement. The douche bitch-er I mean the author...bitch...is having computer problems and is sincerely sorry for the delay on the chapters. He hopes to post one soon.

Kabuto: Yo son! he needs to cuz dem bitches was sellin like crack son!

Neji: Kabuto wah- you- ...the hell?

Kabuto: Real talk homie! Y= da author need to hurry his ass up wit dem chaptaz son or we gon' be fightin! real talk son!

Neji: GO BACK TO NARUTO TRYOUTS! YOU DON'T BELONG HERE DAMNIT!

Naruto: He's right...BONZAI!

Neji: Which Naruto are you?

Naruto: The one from "Stuck In A Loop"

Neji: ...Damn it all...Can we all please go back to our respective stories...

Naruto: Your just jealous that my story is better.

Neji: If by better you mean "causes eye cancer." then yeah.

Naruto: Didn't you hear me? I said my "STORY"...not Sakura (Even burned in the author's note XD)

Sakura: Hey!

Neji: Damnit NO ANIMALS ALLOWED!...

Neji: NO screw it I'm done...


	36. Neji's log part 12

AN- WHOO!

I'm back!

with a new log..

Awesome list:

Same as before. You guys are awesome. The next chapter will have the names listed and my witty clever things next to them lawl or lol...lol

* * *

Neji's log chapter 22 continued:

"Yaoi No jutsu!"

My eye's bulged out.

My heart beat quickened.

My head started throbbing.

My vision blurred...

and the worst part is...

NOTHING HAS HAPPENED YET!

"Neji-chan, this is what I want to do to you..." Sai said.

Ink Lee wrapped his arms around Ink me...yea I'm gonna call him Ink Neji from now on...cuz

...you know It's just easier..

Ink Lee kissed Ink Neji!

Oh The HORROR!

Ink Neji just grabbed Ink Lee's balls!

I'm gonna throw up...

Ink Neji just called Lee "Daddy!"

Ink Lee just called Ink Neji "Mommy!"

The hell Ink Lee?

Oh no...Now the pants are coming off...

I must move...I have to move!

My feet are not responding...

CAN YOU HEAR ME FEET?

YOU NEED TO MOVE!

...no answer...

WAit! What if I just close my eyes?

Let's try...

...

...

...

CRAP MY BYAKUGAN'S STILL ACTIVATED!

I CAN STILL SEE!

There is no way in hell that Lee can fit all the way in there. It's just not poss-

...

...

...

Correction...Maybe it is possible.

BLURH!

I just threw up...

blood...

Oh man...Sai is gonna kill me with this jutsu...I have to get away...before It becomes worse...

"You know Neji-chan...I've got a special variation of this jutsu just for you."

He suddenly a made a handsign..

and suddenly Ink Lee turned into Sakura.

NOOOOO! GOD WHY! PLZ NO! NO! NO! NO! ANYTHING BUT SAKUNEJI! NO! I CAN'T EVEN MAKE A SAKURA BASH REFERENCE HERE!

But wait why is she still thrusting into ink Neji?...

Sakura doesn't have a...

unless...

O_o

BLURGH!

I threw up so much blood that I passed out...

* * *

Suddenly the doors to the ballroom swung open harshly and in came a staggering-

"Neji!" Tenten screamed as she got up and rushed over to him.

HOW IN THE HELL DID I END UP HERE?

Neji was badly injured but that wasn't the only strange thing about him.

"Why are you wearing my glasses Neji?" Shino asked.

I am?

"WHy is my book sticking out of your shorts?" Kakashi asked.

They are?

"Why is my hair wrapped around your thigh?" Hanabi asked.

The hell?

"...Why is my hair lke Sasuke's now?" Lee asked.

The hell?

"No one knows Lee. No one knows...or cares." Shikamaru said.

He's right...I don't care.

Neji collapsed to his knees and uttered one word.

"Yaoi no jutsu." He then fell unconscious.

Man if they knew what I knew then they would know that Sai knows What I know then Sai would know what they know but I knew what I sai knows already but I didn't know that he knew what he knew and wasn't prepared...but they don't need to know that...you know?

"YAOI? WHERE?" Sasunaru started to spazz out.

Anko secretly pulled out a camcorder.

Lee stole it.

"Only one person knows that jutsu." Sasuke said.

"Sai." Hinata said.

I KNOW!

Then Suddenly the doors swund open again. A tenage girl walked in. She looked about Hinata's age. She had long midnight black hair that was put into a low ponytail at the base of her neck and her bangs were swept to the right side of her face. Her eyes were a crystal blue color that made the ocean look dull on its best days and she was tall and fair skinned. I won't lie; she was told by many that shewas beautiful, even gorgeous. The aura around was so bright it was blnding.

OMG...SHE'S EVEN PRETTIER THAN SASUNARU4EVAR!

"OH MY GAWD!" ghost jaraiya said as his nose started to bleed.

"MY EYES! IT BURNS!" Sasunaru4evar said.

MY COCK! IT'S GROWING!

"She's beautiful. She looks to be the embodiment of pure heaven. Can it be?" Hinata said. "Are you the great and powerful and beloved...NARUHINA4EVAR?"

NARUHINA4EVAR!

"...My name's Lily..." The gorgeous girl said.

Everyone in the room sweat dropped.

My cock stopped too.

"Screw you Lily. You just ruined the moment." Hinata said as she activated her byakugan. "For that you must be eliminated."

Lily got scared. "Wait! I bring news from Sai."

Everyone gasped.

Including the unconscious me.

"What is it?" Sasuke asked.

"He says don't look for me or it's Naruto's ass...literally."

"Now that we know what he said we are totally going to do the exact opposite and look for him." Sasuke said.

Just like good Konoha ninjas

"And since your work is in done, you are not needed Lily." Hinata said.

"Twin Lion Jyuuken palm!"

Needles to say Lily was decapitated , cut in half by the waist and had her brain turned to mush...and then died.

Damn Hinata...

"Our next objective is a search and destroy mission." Sasuke said .

Yes Destroy Sai and don't search for the remains

* * *

Neji's back ! plz review before Neji get's rude

PLZ!


	37. Neji's log part 13

AN-

Well it's been sometime fans...and I know what you have been waiting for.

...But first the awesome list..and remember. If you wanna be on the awesome list then just review...plz.

_The awesome list:_

**ambergur-pyon96**-3rd time awesome list fanfic-er here...watch out yall. His or her awesomeness knows no bounds.

**Mi3staR**- Well well well...I bet she's gonna be on the awesome alot more. Why? Cuz she's awesome...duh

**Chewie Cookies**-Keep on chewing...keep on...lol

**sasunaru4evar**- SASUNARU4EVAR!...Only she can say that and not get flamed by me...lol...just playing...or am I?

**DOOOOOOM Lord of Waffles**-Now sir with your username you have no reason not to like my story...lol

**kunoichihyuuga**-Your like The exact opposite of Sakura...Awesome to the core!

**Hana-01**-Awesome as f**k.

**Leaf Ranger**-As a ranger of the leaf, it is automatically known that he is in fact...awesome.

**riia luvs anime**-Question? Is this your username cuz you use this in all your reviews but...you don't log in?

**demon-fox321**-Demon foxes are awesome...ask Kyuubi.

**jamisa27**-She has also been a fan since chapter ...everyone clap...CLAP NOW DAMNIT! (I bet some of you really did clap. lol)

Now After this story is done I'm going to focus on the one with the second most reviews which is Stuck in a loop. SO if you like this story then you will love my Stuck in a loop story.

...It has Sakura bashing...the bashing is funnier than in this story...so go check it out and review on it!

Also my other stories like : Naruto Tryouts , Naruto and Sasuke's Super adventure and , To be truly alone. The last one is not comedy...although its pretty popular..

Now without further ado...

The Log!

* * *

_Neji's log chapter 23:_

Well here I am...

Unconscious yet AGAIN!...This can't be good for my health. I was unconscious for most of the whole damn story!

I'm Neji Hyuuga! Hyuugas are suppose to be the best of the best!

The top dogs!

the HNIC's...That's Head Ninjas in charge for those who don't know...

Now you know.

"Okay here's the plan." Sasuke began. "We will split up into groups of two-"

"LIKE AKATSUKI!" Tobi interrupted.

"...we'll split up into pairs of two-"

"LIKE AKATSUKI!"

"...Then-"

"LIKE AKA-"

Sasuke appeared in front of Tobi and Uchiha b***h slapped him across the room.

"We'll split up into pairs of two and search for Naruto."

Like Akatsuki...

I wish he would hit me. I would so Jyuuken him in the eyes...yeah...the eyes...

The eyes to the Uchihas are like the balls to normal men.

Once hit there you bend over in excruciating pain and it stays for a long ass time.

"Right." Hinata said.

"The groups are as follows:

"Gaara and Lee." Hinata said.

"YOSH!"

"SAND!"

"...yea."

Gaara and Lee? That's like putting a homosexual horny as hell pitbull in a closet with a fragile male poodle.

It's someone's ass on the line and I'll give you a hint on who it's not...It rhymes with Pitbull...

Wait a minute...

Whatever.

"Sakura and Shino." Hinata said

"Okay." Sakura said.

"BUzz."

"...yea."

Sakura and Shino? So we have a gross disgusting dung parasitic dung beetle sub-humanoid creature...

...and Shino...(Burn x 14)

"Kankurou and Chouji."

"Cool."

"I'm going to destroy Sai...from the inside out." Kankurou said.

"...yea."

Kankurou and Chouji? Why not just pair Chouji with an exercise program...That's just as useless as Kankurou is...

"Shikamaru and Temari." Sasuke said.

"What a dr-"

"Finish that sentence and you'll be eating my fan for dinner." warned Temari.

"Temari...you can eat one. Just like all those people who doubted the great and Legendary Inuyonas."

"yea."

Shikamaru and Temari? Shikamaru is half human half Narcoleptic and Temari is half human half horny as hell...

SHikamaru is about to get raped over and over and over and over and over and over...

O_o

"How in the world did I end up on the other side of the doors?...and why is there a human shaped hole in it?...and why am I on the ground?...More importantly why does my anus hurt?" Wondered Shikamaru.

"Tenten and Neji...when he wakes up." Hinata said.

...and over and over and over...

and over.

"Why would you send Neji out again when you know he cant do anything because of the Yaoi no jutsu?" Ino said. "It's ill logical and will cause problems." Ino finished as she adjusted her big round nerd glasses that appeared out of nowhere.

"Ino..." Neji started."I appreciate you putting actual thought behind you reasons but...Logic has a brother, and his name is SHUT THE F**K UP YOU GAY DIKE!"

I woke up! YES!

YOSH!

If you tell anyone I said that...or rather thought that...

then you die.

"...yea."

"WHO THE F**K KEEPS SAYING THAT!" Iruka shouted from the jounin table.

Sasunaru4evar...I saw.

The whole room looks at Sasunaru4evar.

"What?"

"Do you keep saying yea?"

Yea.

"Yea."

Told you.

"SHE DID IT AGAIN!" Iruka said.

"Stop saying yea, or we will beat you up. You got that?" Anko said.

"Yea."

"AGAIN!" A random villager said.

Kurenai squeezed the bridge of her nose.

"Okay." she started. "If you continue to annoy us, I will Punch your teeth so far down your throat that you will have to stick a tooth brush up your ass just to brush them. Do you understand?"

"yea."

"THERE'S NO GETTING THROUGH TO THIS WOMAN!" A random villager said.

I would like to take a moment to acknowledge the death of the great and spectacular...

...common sense.

'cause that whole exchange was just pure idiocy in it's true form.

I mean it's like that conversation was idiocy's Bankai.

"Anywho... I need all the pairs of two to start looking for Naruto-kun now." Hinata commanded.

"Yes go look for Dobe-kun." Sasuke added.

A unanimous Hai was heard and all the pairs of two exited through the doors.

"Okay." Sasuke started. "GHOST SQUAD FRONT AND CENTER!"

"HAI!"

Ghost Tobi, Itachi, Deva Path, Jaraiya, Asuma and...no wait I think that's it. They appeared before Sasuke.

"You five will lead everyone else in a wide scale search mob." Sasuke Explained

"TOBI WAS SLASH IS AND FOREVER WILL BE A GOOOOD BOOOY!"

Madara scares me...Does he suffer from split personality syndrome...like Sakura and Inner Sakura?

"..."

"..."

"..."

"...Yea."

"DAMNIT!" Shouted Iruka from the Jounin table.

"Right... But all the ghosts are in charge-"

"What about me. THE HO-F**KING-KAGE!" Tsunade yelled cutting him off.

"Oh right...I forgot. Tsunade will be in charge...the ghosts will be second in command." Sasuke said.

"Except Sasuaru4evar." Hinata said. "She is coming with us."

She can cum on me anytime.

"Why Hinata-chan? Don't trust little ol' me?" Sasunaru said in a southern bell voice.

I believe it's quite clear that she does not, will not and never did trust Sasunaru4evar.

"No I don't trust you. Thanks for asking that specifically accurate question though." Hinata said as she bowed respectfully.

See?

"Weird white eyed freak." Sasunaru said.

"D**k sucking slut f**k faced whore bag." Hinata retaliated.

Let's play with words again. Instead of :

"D**k sucking slut f**k faced whore bag." Hinata retaliated.

Let's add the name Neji's in front of the whole sentence.

So now we have :

"Neji's D**k sucking slut f**k faced whore bag." Hinata retaliated.

Word plays are awesome.

"Very well then." Tsunade said standing up. She then pointed torward the door.

"Let the village wide search-mob began searching!" She yelled as everysingle person in that room began rushing out the doors in a mob like fashion.

Where they got the torches from? Only kami knows...and she's being a selfish B**** by not telling me where.

* * *

So everyone left me all alone in this room.

What should I do?

...

...

...

...

I could masturbate.

Nah...

It would take too long. My 14 inches is a big thing to rub on...

I need to put it in a wheel barrel to put it in when I walk around the bathroom before and after the shower

...I am not useless...

I mean it's not like my last name is Haruno...

You know what? I'm going to save Naruto all on my own!

I got up and left the room with Hyuuga like speed.

* * *

PLZ REVIEW!

I will make the next chapter the last one. SO if you wanna be on the awesome list then you have to review...

and remember I wanted to make 400...or almost there...


	38. The Final Log

AN- Well this is it fans. The final chapter of Neji's log...

Man we've been through some ups and downs but hey...we made it.

Does this story count as Yaoi? I hope not lol

I will do the awesome list after the chapter...

Cuz it just seems right...

And another thing...this site is overflowing with NAruSasu stories.

And Sakusasu stories...

I gues it's their turn to shine.

And another thing. Most of all the authors here female between the ages of 13 and 25...and alot of them are scared to put their age on their profile...They ususally put something clever like 1000 years old or...old enough or something...

Guys are scared too tho...I mean I have my age on my profile because...you know...I can pretty much handle myself in alot of situations...And I fear virtually nothing...except getting bad reviews lol

Not many male writers tho...Whats up with that.

I'm not complaining... because I love females...

I do...more than Neji loves Sasunaru4evar...

or better yet more than he hates Sakura..

Now let's talk about the newest Naruto chapter...

Nagato was an Uzumaki...

Who else saw that coming...I mean come on...only two people had red hair on the show...Kushina and Nagato...so yeah...

And Madara Uchiha has the powers of the Senju AND Uchiha...

I'm lost... did he absorb Hashirama? No That's not it. WHat the hell is he? He is an immortal ninja with one sharingan now and one arm.

He also gave Nagato the rinnegan...still don't understand that one...

But basically Madara and Sasuke are the most powerful ninjas present now...along with Naruto and Killerbee...

But Madara is so COOL!

The sharingan is awesome.

But yeah I ranted enough so now it's time for the log.

* * *

"OH YES! YES! YES! HARDER!

"GRR! UGH! OH! SHIT! YEAH! TAKE IT BITCH!"

"AHH! AAH! YERG! YES NEJI! HARDER! DO ME HARDEEEER!"

"SHUT UP AND TAKE IT YOU PINK HAIRED SKANK!"

"AAAAAHHHHH!"

"UURGHH!"

"...Oh shit that was amazing... 14 inches of pure goodness.."

"You realized we can't tell anyone...and if you do I will deny it until I die."

"I'm ok with it...as long you shove the whole thing down my throat next time."

"...we have a deal."

"...Neji...you realize that it's time for the log?"

"...and you're still here because?...There's the door...go out it."

"...that's what I love about you Neji. Your rude and bad boy behaviour. I love the way you talk to me. Treat like a slut again Neji, call me a bitch."

"You know what I love about you? The way you look when you are GETTING THE HELL UP AND OUT OF MY GOD DAMN HOUSE!"

_Neji's log. The final log:_

I am currently running on roof tops.

Cuz that's what you do when you search for someone. You run on roof tops.

Man I have to get to Naruto quick! Before Sai does something M-rated!

It always amazes me how many houses there are in Konoha...

...with Perfectly made roof tops for you to run across.

Wait...is that Gaara and Lee?

...But why are there 5 Gaara's?

* * *

"G-GAARA! we s-should stop this, w-w-we need t-to search Naruto-kun-AAAAH!" Lee screamed as his bare back hit the wall.

They were both in an alley way.

"Look Lee, I like you and I want you. Now we can do this the easy way or the hard way." Gaara said as his pants hit the ground around his ankles.

O_o

"I do welcome this Youthful activity but, not now-"

"That sounds like the hard way to me Lee." Gaara said as sand shot out the gourd on the ground behind Gaara.

Gaara made a hand sign and said the most terrifying thing Lee heard in his life.

"Yaoi Suna Bunshin no jutsu."

Now there were six Gaaras around lee.

Gaara smirked

"Oh dear youthful kami."

* * *

O_o

I...

SAW...

NOTHING...

I'm gonna keep dashing from roor to roof.

Hey wait...Is that the dung beetle creature...and Shino?

* * *

"Shino...I love you."

"Sakura...I love beetles and grasshoppers...then Ninja stuff...then ants...then more ninja stuff...then My glasses...then cock...ROACHES!(Honestly some of you are just plain perverts) then you Sakura."

Sakura was mortified.

No she was pissed.

How dare he not love her!

She sucked his Cockroach without the roach part for crying out loud!

She was getting angry

Beyond angry

absolutely furious.

She clenched her fists.

She was so mad that she involuntarily gathered an normous amount of Chakra in her body.

"Sakura?" Shino said worried about her well being.

"YOU DON'T HAVE THE RIGHT TO CALL MY NAME TREE HUGGER!"

"You have a leaf on your ninja headband too y'know."

"SHUT UP!"

"AAAARGH!"

Sakura grabbed her stomach. She was in tremendous pain.

"Shino help!"

"I don't know medical ninjutsu. What do I do!" Shino began to panic aswell.

"I don't-aaah!" She screamed loud as she doubled over clutching her stomach.

"SAKURA!"

**SLINK!**

...UM...

Well

you see Out of all possible thins that could have happened...

Even the great author didn't know this was coming.

"Sakura what on earth is that?" SHino asked.

Apparently a 2 foot metal rod erupted form Sakura''s...Crotch area through her pants.

Sakura smiled deviously

"Now shino, I like you, and I want you. We can do this the easy way or the hard way."

O_o

Shino became OOc and started to cry...from his shades.

* * *

O_O!

!

!

O_o

SAI WAS RIGHT ON THE MONEY WITH HIS YAOI NO JUTSU!

I KNEW IT!

I KNEW IT!

I F**KIN KNEW IT!

Good thing that didn't happen before the log started...

I mean ..uh...

Nothing happened before the log started...yeah

Hey wait...Is that...Sasunaru4evar?

IT IS!

I sped up and close in own her.

...She just jumped through a building...

SHE'S BADASS TO THE CORE!

I better follow.

* * *

SHE FOUND SAI AND NARUTO!

Should I interfere?

I mean I could beat Sai's ass if he doesn't use the Yaoi no jutsu...and Sasunaru and me together would be too much for him...

Nah... I'll only help out if neccessary.

If you wanna know where I am then I am on the ceiling in the same room as NAruto , Sai and SasuNaru4evar watching everything...

You'll hear my comments like before...

well you won't actually hear them but yeah...

"STOP THS CRAZYNESS!"

Naruto and Sai looked at the person who said this.

"SASUNARU4EVAR!" Naruto said.

"So you found us." Sai said drawing his sword.

"Indeed." She said drawing her sword."I am a changed girl. Hinata taught me something. She taught that true love still exists. So Sai I am no longer after Naruto's delicious virginity. That Neji guy is looking really hot to me all of a sudden. But I will not allow you to wreck Naruto's asshole."

She thinks I'm hot.

"Well let's stop stalling."

_**FRENCH FISH FROM SPONGEBOB: 2 HOURS LATER**_

Where did a damn fish come from?

"Damn." Sasunaru said as she laid on ground gasping for breathe.

She had cuts and bruises all over her body. she had blood all on her clothes and face. All in all she looked beat the hell up.

Sai had a few scrathes here and there.

OH NO! I might have to step in, because I'll be damned if SasuNaru's screams of pain are from anything other than my very own penis.

"Well That was fun." Sai said sarcastically.

"But now it' time to claim Naruto-kun."

"Oh hell no it's not." Naruto said from the wall.

I bet his chains eat chakra.

"Naruto those chains eat chakra." Sai informed him.

It's like I'm psychic!

"...You cliche'd son of a B***h." Naruto commented.

Sai walked torwards Naruto and reached for his pants.

Naruto's eyes bulged out.

Then suddenly a sword like thing erupted from the ground underneath sai threatening to stab through him.

SASUKE'S ARRIVED!

Sai's doomed.

Sai jumped back in time.

The sword like thing was long and sharp...the funny thing was that it was made from blue electricity.

"So more people have found me."

Sure enough Sasuke emerged from where the Chidori sword peirced the ground from.

"Sasuke Uchiha. I've been wanting to test my strength against yours." Sai said smugly.

"Sai, have you forgotten I beat the whole Hyuuga clan? I killed Orochimaru TWICE! I owned in the battle of the five kages and Helped defeat Madara Uchiha. Sai you have no hope of winning."

He really doesn't. Sasuke's on a whole different level.

"All bark and no bite Sasuke."

Sasuke heard this from behind him. He turned his head and in that instance Sai had appeared right behind him aiming a stab with his sword at the back of Sasuke's throat.

"SASUKE!" Naruto screamed.

"Sasuke!"Sasunaru4evar shouted weakly.

He's not even there anymore. In fact he was never there. That's a genjutsu. He never left the ground.

**SPLELTCH!**

The sickening sound of flesh being ripped into was heard. and the shocking sight of a sword protruding out of Sasuke's throat was saw.

"Sasuke Uchiha. Last of the Uchiha clan is dead now." Sai said.

Like anyone but Naruto could kill Sasuke.

Then the unthinkable happened.

"Like I said before. You have no hope of winning." Sasuke said before he bursted in to a bunch of big white snakes

"GENJUTSU!" Sai said.

No. Really? WHatever gave you that Idea?

The fact that humans aren't made of snakes?

"I learned that from Orochimaru."

No. Really? I would have never guessed that the SNAKE Sannin taught you SNAKE jutsu...

"OOf!"

Sai heard that right before he was kicked from behind and skided across the floor. He got up and got ready again. But he couldn't find Sasuke.

"The next move I use will be from my doujutsu."

How come nobody saw Hinata come through the hole and start sprinting torward Sai?

Sai heard this all around him.

"JYUUKEN B***H SLAP!"

All of a sudden Sai's head rocketed backward and his body followed.

DAMN! Hinata-sama hit's hard.

He rolled on the ground and stood back up as fast as he could and caught sight of Hinata standing in front of him.

"My my Hinata. Just when I was going to unleash Amaterasu." Sasuke appeared right next to her.

You can still do it.

"...You still can."

"...touche."

Needless to Say Sai was roasted to death because of common sense.

"Naruto is finally safe." Hinata said.

Has she forgotten that Sasuke wants Naruto's asshole?

"Not quite yet."

"What-argh!"

She was cut off because Sasuke picked her up by the neck and slammed her back down on the ground rendering her unconscious.

"HINATA!" Naruto said.

"Shut up dobe." Sasuke appeared in font of Naruto and smacked him.

"Youre going to get it dobe. ANd you're gonna like it." Sasuke activated his Sharingan. He grabbed Naruto's chin.

DAMN! Now I gotta step in. I took a kunai out and prepared to drop on Sasuke but-

Just then Sasuke noticed a kunai heading straight for his leg to fast for him to dodge. So he moved as fast as he could backwards but the Kunai still scraped the front of both his thighs and hit the hall with a squelching sound. He paid it no mind. He turned and saw Saunaru4evar standing in a position as if she already thrown something.

O_o...HOW COULD HE NOT FEEL THAT?

"You missed." Sasuke said smugly.

"Um Sasuke?" Naruto said.

"What?"

"You're bleeding."

"Thats what hapens when you get cut."

"Sasuke. Your'e bleeding bad."

Sasuke decided to look at he thigh and he noticed the front of his pants was soaked in blood. His knees started to go weak.

"Was that Kunai poisoned?" He asked aloud.

Naruto looked at the Kunai in the wall.

IT'S STICKING TO THE WALL!

what is it? like 4 inches?

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLLOL

That's like my middle finger!

"!"

Naruto then threw up.

"What the hell dobe?"

"LOOK AT THE KUNAI!"

Sasuke looked at the Kunai.

The kunai was stickking in the wall.

He also noticed it was pinning something to the wall aswell.

It looked like a fleshy hot dog.

As far as Sasuke knew he didn't have any hot dogs growing-

"AAAAAAAAAAH!"

And that's when it clicked.

Sasunaru4evar had chopped Sasuke's penis off.

I do not ever wanna piss her off...ever...

O_o

Sasuke curled up in the fetal position.

Hinata woke up and kicked Sasuke then freed Naruto.

"NARUTO!"

Naruto,Hinata and Sasunaru looked at the hole in the wall created by Sasunaru and saw everyone from the ninja banquet.

"WHOO!" Chouji yelled. "Naruto is safe! Naruto is- Is that a hot dog?" He asked and ran torwards it.

Oh shit don't tell me...

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!" Nartuo screamed.

But it was all for naught because by the fourth O in Naruto's screamed Chouji devoured the "Hotdog"

* * *

OMAKE

Man what an adventure.

I am currently strolling through the city's streets.

I can't believe that there were that many homo ninja.

That's gonna be my question to every new person I meet.

"Are you homo?" Yeah...That will clear things up...

But what if they say I don't know...

"Then you back away slowly."

I stopped dead in my tracks. That voice ...it couldn't be...but how did she know-

"what you were thinking?"

O_O SHE DID IT-

"again?"

I turned around and was blessed with the beautiful sight of SasuNaru4evar.

...in a black body suit...can we say turn on?

"So you think I'm beautiful?" SHe said smiling her gorgeous smile.

"You already know the answer to that question."

Nice comeback Neji...real smoothe.

She giggled.

"So how can you read minds?" I ask.

"Remember when I said I am Kishimoto's right hand man? well it comes with benefits."

She is so beautiful.

"Wait so you already knew everything that was going to happen before it happened?"

"Kinda...I knew what people wanted to do...like for example you."

I froze...Did she read all the Neji logs? If so then...

She knows how bad I wanna put my Ninja tool in her ninja pouch...

Suddenly she walked up real close to me and wrapped her arms around my neck.

Then she leaned real close to my right ear and whisperd:

"All you had to do was ask Neji."

OMG...

"Well can we-"

"Yes we can go to my place." She said grabbing my hand and started dragging me.

* * *

4 hours later.

WOW!

WOW!

AND DAMN!

Me and Sasunaru4evar were both sprawled out on her bed.

Our clothes were on her chairs.

But man! She was so...so...so...

TIGHT!

I CAN'T BELIEVE I LASTED FOR 3 STRAGHT HOURS FROM THE WAY SHE WAS CLAMPING DOWN ON IT!

And she took the whole thing.

WHOLE!

THING!

Must be why she's still knocked out...

SHE IS A GODDESS.

...But now she's MY goddess from this day on...

* * *

THANKS FOR READING EVERYONE ! I REALLY APPRECIATE IT!

AND AS FOR THE AWESOME LIST...I've decided I'm not doing it.

I'm doing something else.

I'm giving out awards...so to speak.

The awesomest person.

The funniest review.

The weirdest review( and I will post it)

and the person who reviewed the most...there are more categories

So now...

**THE AWESOMEST PERSONS: **SasuNaru4evar and Mi3star.

**The people who reviewed the most: **Leaf Ranger, Mi3staR, KunoichiHyuuga and Hana-01...and Chewie cookies

**The people who have been with this story the longest: **Jamisa27, Sasunaru4evar, Mi3staR, Leaf Ranger, Hana-01 and KunoichiHyuuga, chewie cookies, Rei Sagara and Sasori into the nothing...and Kantonkagex

**Kick-ass authors who read my story: **Stigma, Adelle-chan and Sasunaru4evar...and chewie cookies...

Now...this is where it gets funny.

* * *

**The funniest review**...which was: jamisa27  
2010-05-18 . chapter 16

please please please sasunaru4eva die a slow death when your a inch away from naruto's dick because kyuubi charka

* * *

Lol when I read that I busted out laughing... Come on just picture something like that happening...it's FUNNY!...

But it's all in good humor cuz I would never ever want SasuNaru4evar to die ever...I would gladly ...givesakura'slifeinstead MOVING ON!

* * *

**The weirdest review:**  
2010-09-01 . chapter 28

Lol just finished 28 and is still confused on who is screwing who! Good kids these days aren't what they use to be with their legs spread so wide they could fudge an army! Or the whole of Konoha! XD

So let me get this straight: the summary is everybody is getting their fair share of ninja pie well apart from Sakura but who cares! Set the whore on fire and have Choji eat the remains XD

And I knew it was him! I mean choji...it was the way he ate that pie..hmm...

OKAY!

TO SUM UP MY FEELINGS:

-Lol you are a genius and what beetches are screwing with a eighteen year old male who writes yaoi *has nosebleed* I think you're hot :3 then again I'm a guy...*ahem*

-Aw poor kankuro and his puppet but I saw it coming, it's something about his family and having 'toys' to 'play' with...I mean Gaara and his oddly testicle looking gourd and Temari and her fan :) GAWD LAWL! Blowing...tehee

- Ino's a lesbian! No surprise...

-Sasuke's gay...big whoop, everyone knew that gosh ;)

-Narutos not gay, this is unbelievable! Any male who actually reads icha icha and says it's boring is gay especially when they turn into a female to get male attention.

I know it's hard for your male brain to register but seriously Naruto is gay just like his father...Minato liked to hump Kakashi. Hahahaha. :3 child rape

-Why does the back of my head feel like it's being raped? I love Sai especially when he turns out to be the village whore. Pooh sai you never seize to amaze me with that belly button :D poor naruto, he's a virgin? ZING you would jiriaya would have taken care of that *wink wink*

-WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Yamato!

-Uh yeah Rock lee gay...knew it

his dad being gai...OMG WHO WOULD HAVE GUESSED! SOOO YOUTHFULLL T_T *sob*

-The ghosts ought to gang each other or attempt raping...uh...hmm...Akamaru! Yer...

-INCEST! Yer...I guess..."Oh neji I want it hard"

-TenTen the female who makes you straighter than a round about...maybe she is a guy? 0_o SURPRISE!

I'm going to stop know cuz I've prrobabaly annoye dyou enough but I'd like to say IF I WASNT GAY ID BANG YOU HARDER THAN SHINOS MATING BUGS IN HIS GLASSES! LAWL

SASUNARU forever!

*Bam the doors of where ever slam open and a short feisty sexy tanned blonde babe with piercing blue eyes and large breasts strides in with just a cropped off t-shirt stretched thinly across her firm nipples says 'I support anything that bangs and includes me" and a orange lacy thong riding up her perfectly toned buttocks leading down to her perfectly tones thighs and shapely legs*

Her name is...KakaGaiIru

Kakashi: What the...?

Gai: HOW YOUTHFUL! :D

Iruka: Tarter sauce... 0_o

I LEAVE IN PEACE NOW HOPING TO HEAR FROM AN ALMIGHTY GENIUS LIKE YOU AGAIN XD

I'm going to stop

* * *

NOW TELL ME THAT WASN'T WEIRD! I WAS LAUGHING MY ASS OFF WHEN I READ THAT! YOU KNOW WHAT? HERE GOES ANOTHER ONE BY THAT SAME PERSON THAT CAUGHT OFF GUARD.

* * *

2010-09-02 . chapter 29

LAWL! I WANT YOUR NUMBER AND BABIES!

I'm a girl...I think or you think! I could be a gay guy? Not sure anywhoooo

GET THEM NEJI SMACK THEM B*TCHES SO HARD WITH YOUR 14 INCH PIECE OF GOODNESS! XD

*drools* waffles...blue waffles? Is kakashi's face a blueberry waffle if so I wanna lick it!

*looks on google*

WHAT THE ******** WAFFLEY GOODNESS ********** IS THAT? NO WAY ********** MY TONGUE ************ EATING ********* TOUCHING THAT PIECE OF ********* AND ******* ***** TURKEEEY!

Thankgood...

Kakakshi: Wanna lick?

Gai: HELLS YEAH! *licks* yumm rasberry... :3

LUV YOU! Your sooo sexy and cool and so hot it creates tingles in my private parts :3 LAWL

* * *

WHAT THE BLOODY HELL? So is this a guy?

or a girl?

...or Sakura...

ANYWHO I THANK YOU ALL EVEN IF I DIDN'T MENTION YOUR NAME YOU ARE STILL AWESOME!

AND I'M GONE.


	39. The discussion

8 months later...Back at the hall.

Everyone was sitting back in their original seats they were in, in chapter one.

Tsunade was on stage speaking into the mic.

"Ok people, today is a new day. We've stopped Sasuke and Sasunaru4evar from raping Naruto and found out secrets about everyone that we didn't need to know. We are passed that now."

"Why are we even here?" Sai asked from his seat.

"You are all here because I would like to discuss our future with you all...The MANGA." Tsunade explained.

"So it has come to this..." Ghost tobi said in Madara's voice.

"What the hell, How is your voice suddenly deep tobi?" Ghost jiraiya asked.

"Uh-I mean Tobi is a GOOD BOY!" Toobi hastily said.

Sai's eyes narrowed. _'Hmmmmm, We will see just how good you are.'_ Sai thought licking his lips...

Naruto swallowed nervously and started to twitch.

Hinata noticed.

"Whats wrong sugar poo bear?" She asked.

"I just saw sai lick his lips and suddenly got nervous.

"Oh yes. We should all be weary whenever Sai is concerned." Neji said eyeing Sai.

**Inner Neji(From Neji's Log): I could have sworn Sasuke roasted that homo-fuck in the last chapter ...which was eight months ago...**

"Yeah how is Sai alive?" Sasunaru4eva said sitting next to Neji.

"Probably a plot device." Iruka said." I better brace myself for this one."

"We aren't just gonna ignore that sugar poo bear thing now are we?" Kiba asked.

"SILENCE!" Tsunade shouted.

The hall went silent.

"Now I will call roll. When your name is called please notify that your here."

"Now then I will began calling. Tenten!"

"Here I am Lady Tsunade!" Said Tenten Happily.

"Yosh the slut is present!" Lee screamed glaring at tenten.

"My god Lee it's been like 30 something chapters just give it up. Neji is not gay. He and Sasunaru are dating." Tenten said.

"Yes Lee Neji and I are dating. So I would appreciate it if you would please be respectful from now on." Sasunaru said.

"But I want Neji so bad." Lee whined.

"Lee It will not happen." Neji said.

**Inner Neji: The day I turn gay is the day Sakura's chest unflattens. NEVER! (Burn x17) **

"Ino!" Tsunade called.

"Quick question." Shikamaru said. "Are you still bi Ino?"

"Yep." She said perky-like.

"You still wanna do Sakura?"

"Yep."

**Inner Neji: Ew Why? **

"And Sasuke?"

"He doesn't have a penis anymore...but if he did then yep." Ino explained.

Sasuke sulked.

"Hey Sasuke I think I've had it wrong all this time. It's YOU I should have been calling dickless." Sai said.

Everyone laughed.

Sasuke fumed.

"Hey leave Sasuke-kun alone!" Sakura screamed.

**Inner Neji: Hey Sasuke and Sakura are twins now. They are both flat chested and have vaginas! (burn x18)**

On the outside Neji snickered at his own joke.

Sakura glared.

**Inner Sakura: You wanna repeat that Inner Neji?**

**Inner Neji: You can hear me? Well I should have expected that from that gigantic tunnel you call a vagina.**

**Inner sakura: My vagina is only big if you are too little. You know what that means Hyuuga? It means that your dick is so little you piss on your balls.**

**Inner Neji: Bitch I'll rip you in half with my shit!**

"Sakura!" Tsunade called.

"Here!" Sakura called.

"I haven't forgotten that you raped me Haruno..." Shino said.

"Neither have I." Sakura said smiling evilly.

"Hinata!"

"I'm here in the arms of my beloved snuggle-kins." Hinata said all lovey dovey.

Naruto blushed.

"Snuggle kins?" Kakashi said from the jonin table.

"This fluff is gonna be the ddeath of me." Anko said.

"Temari!"

"Here lady Hokage."

"Oh look the whore is present." Matsuri said.

"Whore? Your the one who knows what Shikamaru tastes like." Temari retaliated.

"I do too."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Sai do you have to remind me?" Shikamaru said pinching his nose.

**Inner Neji: Man that Sai is nasty! I bet he is one of those people who pee in the shower...**

**Inner Sakura: Yeah I'd hate to see his house.**

**Inner Neji: Bitch did I tell you to agree with me?**

**Inner Sakura: Well atleast a woman is talking to you. And I don't mean a thing like Sasunaru I mean a REAL woman.**

**Inner Neji: A real woman agreed with me you say? That's impossible because the only one that can hear me is you.**

**Inner Sakura: Typical Neji. You keep denying whats right in front of you. I guess it takes a Real man to see a real woman.**

**Inner Neji: A real man you say? I'll tell you what a real man is, Something you can't keep!**

**Inner Sakura:...**

**Inner Neji: I burned you again. (Burn x 19)**

"Moegi!" Tsunade continued.

She was kissing Konohamaru.

"It warms my hear to see kids so young make out." Ghost jiraiya said.

"Dude...that is sick." Kiba commented.

"Neji!"

"I am here Lord Hokage."

**Inner Neji: Ok let's be real. What was better? Who did it? or Who did it: Neji's log? **

"Kiba!"

"Here."

"Kiba stop making out with your mother." Sasuke said.

"I'm not."

"But you want to..." Sasuke said grinning.

Kiba flushed as he felt embarrassed.

"Dickless-I mean Sasuke!"

Everyone laughed.

"Naruto!"

"DATTE-FUCKIN-BAYO!"

"Shikamaru!"

"ZZZZZZZZ..."

"Sleep already..." Temari said.

"Well maybe your just boring." Matsuri said.

"Shut up Matsuri. Your not even a popular character." Temari commented.

"Konohamaru!"

He was Kissing Moegi.

"It warms my hear to see kids so young make out." Ghost jiraiya said.

"Duuuuude. Thats not cool." Kiba said again.

"Rock Lee!"

"Yosh!"

"Chouji!"

He was eating.

"Shino!"

"Buzz."

...

...

...

"Sorry."

"Gaara!"

He was staring at Lee intently.

Then he licked his lips.

Lee shivered.

"Kankurou!"

"My make up!"

"Shut up Kankurou. That was so 30 chapters ago." Temari commented.

"Ayame!"

"Hey Ayame is the only one without a secret." Naruto said.

"Maybe we will find out what it is later..." Kakashi said.

Ayame stayed silent.

"Matsuri!"

"Hai lady hokage!"

"Hanabi!"

She was also kissing Konohamaru.

"It warms my hear to see kids so young make out." Ghost jiraiya said.

"Dude. Thats it. I'm calling the cops." Kiba said.

"Sai!"

He smiled and raised his hand.

"Good." Tsunade said. "Now that we've established we're all here I would like to discussed our futures...in the next chapter. So make sure you review ok?"

...

...

...

...

**Inner Neji: Who the hell is she talking too?**

"I wonder who she is speaking too." Neji said.

"Yes I do too." Sakura said.

**Inner Neji: WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT AGREEING WITH ME!**

* * *

**AN- I KNOW WHAT I SAID...BUT I JUST HAVE SO MUCH FUN WRITING THIS STORY...PLEASE REVIEW! I ALSO TOOK OUT THE LAST TWO CHAPTERS BECAUSE I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE BETTER IF I HAD THE CHARACTERS TALKING ABOUT THE MANGA RATHER THAN ME.**


	40. Discussing

"Ok." Tsuade began."Now lets talk about the latest chapter of the Manga. What are your thoughts on this whole Ninja alliance vs the akatsuki thing?"

"I think the Akatsuki are going to lose yosh!"

"Only someone as gay as you would be that optimistic lee. Do you not realize that Kabuto bbrought back all of the past kages beside the hokages?" Sasuke asked.

"Do not insult me Sasuke...At least I still have a penis."

The room laughed.

Sasuke fumed

"He even brought back the original seven swordsmen of the mist." Tenten added.

"Did anyone else notice the way my snuggly wuggly was destroying the zetsu's?" Hinata asked all dreamy like.

"I swear one more nickname out of her and I'm doing something crazy." Sakura said.

**Inner Neji: You mean like be useful (Burn x20).**

**Inner Sakura: Listen you no pupil having freak. Don't make me hurt your feelings.**

**Inner Neji: If you treat my feelings like an enemy shinobi during the chuunin exams then I have nothing to worry about.**

**Inner Sakura: Thats it. You lowly branch member. At least I dont have a curse seal on my forehead.**

**Inner Neji:...It's on bitch.**

"Lets talk about the return of Madara Uchiha." Itachi said.

"I don't understand how he's alive. Then who the hell is behind that mask?" Ghost jiraiya said.

"It might be Izuna Uchiha. Or Orochimaru." Kakashi said.

"Who the hell is Izuna?"

"Madara's brother."

All eyes fell on tobi.

"...Tobi is a good boy?"

"What if Tobi is an actual person? What if Tobi is behind the mask and his last name is Uchiha?" Sasuke said glancing at the dead ninja.

"Why in the hell does Madara have the Sharingan, The Eternal mangekyou Sharingan AND the Rinnegan? It's like he found the cheat codes to Naruto shippudden. And if thats the case why didn't Nagato have the Sharingan first?" Kakashi asked.

All eyes fell on ghost deva path.

"I believe I know the answer." Sasunaru4evar said. "Kishimoto has been reading too much fanfiction."

"Matsuri get your hands off of shikamaru!" Temari screamed.

Gaara frowned. "Matsuuri I thought we had an agreement." started Gaara. "I stopped raping ass and you stopped seeing the shadow user. We even made love that time."

"I'm sorry gaa-kun but I don't know what you are talking about." Matsuri said confused.

"I'm afraid it wasn't matsuri you made love too."

The whole ballroom went wide eyed.

everything was quiet.

All heads turned to who spoke.

He was just smiling.

That creepy smile.

He also turned his head to who spoke.

"My my Lee-san. It appears I've inspired others." Sai said.

"Lee I can't believe you did that again!" Matsuri screamed.

"Sorry but if I can't have Neji-

**Inner Neji: And you damn well can't**

"then I'm taking what I can get it."

the whole ballroom was still quiet...

Nobody could believe lee did a sai.

oh well.

Until next time...

* * *

AN-NOT MUCH HERE...JUST WANTED TO TALK ABOUT THE NEW CHAPTER. WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON IT ASWELL? PLZ REVIEW


	41. Discussing pt 2

"Whoa whoa whoa slow the hell down. So Madara behind the mask isn't THE Madara Uchiha because the Real Madara was brought back by Kabuto's Edo Tensei technique? The 5 kages are battling the REAL Madara? And Madara has the Sharingan, The Mangekyou Sharingan and the RINNEGAN? So who the hell is behind that mask?" Ghost Jiraiya asked.

"And Naruto, Bee, Kakashi and Gai are fighting the tailed beasts' Jinchuuriki and the fake Madara? AND ONE OF THE BEASTS IS NAMED GOKU!" Tsunade shouted.

"If there is someone named Goku running around the Naruto series than we all had better hope he is the good guy." Ghost Asuma said.

"Why? You think anyone named Goku is better than me? FUTURE HOKAGE OF KONOHA!" Naruto boldly exclaimed.

"Your arrogance knows no bonds Naruto-kun. Are you sure you're not Sasuke in henge?"

"HEY SCREW YOU NI-SAN! YOU BLIND ASSHOLE WITH LINES ON YOUR FACE!"

"I've heard of a warrior named Goku once." Itachi continued. "His story is one filled epic battles and monumental decisions. It is said that this Goku has saved the earth a plethora of times. Even the Universe. The most interesting thing though, is even though he saved the earth, he is not of the earth."

"Are you saying he is not human?" Shikamaru asked.

Itachi nodded.

"I daresay he would crush the Rikudo sennin in battle with ease."

The room gasped at this. Silence ensued for a while until-

"THAT'S BULLSHIT!"

"THAT'S TOTAL CRAP!"

"PRE-TIME SKIP SAKURA HAS A BETTER CHANCE OF BEATING MADARA AT HIS PRIME THAN ME BELIEVING YOUR STORY ITACHI!"

"NO ONE IS STRONGER THAN THE SAGE! HE CREATED JUTSU!"

"HOW COULD SOMEONE BE NOT HUMAN! I MEAN WHAT THE HELL ELSE IS THERE?"

"You could be Sakura."

"Oh yeah point taken."

Sakura shook with rage. How dare they speak about her like she wasn't here!

Neji smirked.

**Inner Sakura: What the hell is your pupil-less girl looking ass smirking about?**

**Inner Neji: I thought of something extremely funny and could never happen in a million years.**

**Inner Sakura: Your chances with SasuNaru4eva?**

**Inner Neji: No. You being useful.**

**Inner Sakura: SHUT UP! THAT'S WHY YOU WILL NEVER HAVE SASUNARU4EVA!**

**Inner Neji: Shows what you know, I already had her...The chapter after Sasuke's penis was cut off."**

**Inner Sakura: LIES!**

**Inner Neji: Now why would I lie to a useless whore?**

"I think the saddest thing was Chouji having to fight Asuma sensei again." Ino said looking at her childhood friend.

"Bah. SO what ? That's not even as big of a problem I have. If I make Shadow clones in fox mode than I will die. And all I use are Shadow clones."

Unfortunately all chouji heard was the word "Big" in Naruto's sentence. This meant that his next decison would probably be punching something for shouting.

"I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M BIG! IT RUNS IN THE FAMILY!" Shouting it is then.

"Oi you expect me to believe that...NOBODY RUNS IN YOUR FAMILY!" Naruto shouted back.

"Tenten could you be anymore obvious? Stop whoring over Neji." Lee said.

Of course tenten wasn't doing anything. Lee just was being a jerk.

"Listen here you gay pickle. Neji is not nor ever will be gay." Tenten declared.

**Inner Neji: Well said Tenten...you might be getting 16 inches of Neji tonight...that's right people. It grew since last time.**

**Inner Sakura: Hey I think Lee is a good match for you pretty boy.**

**Inner Neji: Let me check my pants pockets...no...my bag...no...my kunai puch...no...Hey I can't seem to find my reason for giving a shit about what you think.**

**Inner Sakura: oooh Fiesty? Mad that you got dumped by Lee?**

**Inner Neji: Why don't you go back to having "INSEX" with Shino.**

"So Ayame...how about hooking a handsome guy up with some Ramen?" Kiba said in his best seductive voice to Ayame.

"I didn't know Naruto-kun let's you call him that."

"What? I was talking about me."

"Oh..." SHe then fell on the floor laughing hysterically.

"Kiba maybe you should try a different approach."

"Is the great Sasuke Uchiha giving me advice?" Kiba said jokingly.

"Yes he is." Sasuke replied smugly.

"Well I don't think your advise is useful to me. I can't just look at a girl and make her fall head over heels for me like you can."

"Well you can take my advice or not. It's your choice."

"I think you should take it Kiba." Sakura added.

" Hold on, Let me check my pants pockets...no...my bag...no...my kunai puch...no...Hey I can't seem to find my reason for giving a shit about what you think." Kiba responded.

Sakura frowned.

**Inner Neji: SEE! I TOLD YOU!**

**Inner Sakura: BITE ME!**

**Inner Neji: I wouldn't have you in my mouth even if you were my own teeth.**

"Everyone I think we are missing something very important." Tsunade announced effectively quieting everyone .

She continued to speak.

"Who the hell is that behind the orange swirling mask?"

All heads turned to Tobi.

"Um...Tobi is a good boy?"

"Well there's only one way to find out." Said Naruto as he stood up and pushed his sleeve up. He then pointed at Tobi.

"GET HIM!"

The room eruupted in chaos...

* * *

AN- REVIEW!

AND CHECK OUT MY OTHER STORIES!


	42. Discussing pt 3

The room erupted in chaos as everyone lunged at Tobi.

"AAHH! NO KILL ME!" Tobi shouted as he began to panic.

Sai was the first to reach him. He grabbed Tobi by the collar and yanked him off the ground.

"Tell us who you are or face the wrath of my Thousand years of penis no jutsu."

Tobi paled and warped out of sai's grasp dissapearing from the ball room altogether.

"Damn!" Naruto shouted as he ran up next to Sai.

"Hmm. He escaped the wrath of my thousand years of penis no jutsu." Sai muttered to himself.

"YOUR WHAT?" Unfortunately Naruto heard him.

Sakura kicked open the ballroom doors.

"Come on guys, we can still catch him!" She screamed.

"Yeah!"

"Let's get him!"

"Take off his mask!"

"Was Sakura actually useful?"

"EVERYONE STOP!"

Silence.

Not a sound was uttered after Ghost Jiraiya's outburst.

"Jiraiya what's gotten in to you?" Tsunade asked hesitantly.

"I may have an idea of who Tobi is."

The room gasped.

"Who tebayo?" Naruto asked in awe.

"I'm impressed with everyone's effort with chasing Tobi. Especially you Sakura."

**Inner Neji: Aww look at you being useful.**

**Inner Sakura: Hey Can it, you branch member slave!**

**Inner Neji: Hey I'm trying to be nice. Usually you're about as useful as a handjob to a guy with no penis.**

Everyone sat down.

"Now then." Jiraiya said as a giant chalk board appeared on stage.

He appeared in front of it with a peice of chalk.

"Now let's go over what we know. Tobi has a sharingan." Jiraiya drew a stick figure of tobi with one sharingan eye. Basically a circle with three dots in it. And one in the middle.

"He also had a Rinnegan." Sasuke said.

"Yes he does." Jiraiya agreed. He drew another eye with the rinnegan. Basically a circle with three smaller circles inside of each other.

"Now Tobi has claimed that he gave Nagato the Rinnegan when he basically man handled Konan."

Konan twitched.

"Let's assume this is true. Who else had a Rinnegan besides Nagato?" Jiraiya asked the ballroom.

"Tenten's Sluttiness!"

"Shut up Lee!"

"Madara Uchiha had a Rinnegan." Sasuke answered again.

"Alright Sasuke. We're on a roll." Jiraiya said. He began to scribble on the board.

"Teacher's pet."

The rest of the Table giggled at Naruto's comment.

"So since Madara has been revived Tobi is not Madara. Who else had a Rinnegan?"

"The Sage of Six paths." Itachi said.

"Are all Uchiha's suck ups?" Hinata asked annoyingly.

"Are all Hyuuga females weak?" Itachi stated Menacingly as he glared at Hinata with the Mangekyou activated.

Naruto glared in Hinata's defence but even he knew not to wrongfully pick a fight with Itachi.

"Ooooooh Hinata got bitched." SasuNaru said.

"Moving on." Jiraiya began. "The Rikudo Sennin did in fact have a Rinnegan. But since He used himself as a sacrifice for the Juubi and split the ten tailed beast into 9 different entities on his death bed , we know Tobi is not the Sage. So who else had the Sage's eyes?

Naruto's hand shot up.

"Kiba keeps kicking me!"

"I am Not! Your knee keeps running into my foot!"

"Tenten keeps kicking me aswell!"

"Lee I am not! Stop being a jealous moron!"

"ENOUGH!" Tsunade yelled hurling a table across the room.

"Stupid slut...You probably were born naked you slut..." Lee muttered.

Tenten's eye twitched.

"Ok...So who else had a Rinnegan? Nobody knows? Well Let me tell you. The Sage first born Son had a Rinnegan. In the legend The sage had two sons. One who inherited his eyes and one who inherited his body. We believe The Uchiha and the Senju came from the two sons. Anyway the sage's first born Son is the only other person who had a Rinnegan. So Tobi can only be one person."

"Voldemort?"

A chair flew across the room and Hit Naruto square in the face.

"Tobi must be the first son." Jiraiya finished.

The room gasped.

"But how can he live that long?" Neji asked.

"Kid you are talking to a ghost..."

"True..."

"Hey what were you drawing you baka?" Tsunade asked.

Jiraiya smiled and scratched his head. "I got a little side tracked."

He stepped out of the way and let his scribbles be seen.

It was a pair of sloppily drawn boobs.

Tsunade saw red.

"PERVERT!"

**BAM!**

* * *

**AN- I HONESTLY THINK TOBI IS THE FIRST SON. I CAME UP WITH THE IDEA WHILE I WAS MESSAGING SOMEONE ON FACEBOOK. THE MESSAGE I SENT WAS A CONGRATULATIONS TO MY FRIEND FOR HAVING A BABY. SHE HAD A SON. IT WAS HER FIRST SON. ...FIRRST SON...AND THAT'S WHERE I GOT THE IDEA FROM LOL. IT MAKES SENSE IF YOU THINK ABOUT IT. WELL THATS MY OPINION ANYWAY. REVIEW AND PLEASE READ MY OTHER STORIES!**


	43. SUPER IMPORTANT AN

Guys Fanfiction owners said that they were deleting any fic with m rated content.

This includes Lemons and excess violence.

Now if you read my stories you would know that some of my fics fall into this category.

I don't want my fics deleted guys (._. )

\But I can't FOR THE LIFE OF ME figure out why all of a sudden they wanna do this. It's not gonna stop kids from reading porn in story form. It certainly won't stop people from writing word porn.

And if they delete all stories or even accounts with lemons and m rated things...then Naruto won't be the anime with the most stories on the site anymore.

AND I'LL BE DAMNED BEFORE I LET NARUTO FALL BELOW INUYASHA! lol which is the anime with the second most stories on the site...

thanks to pyromania101 for giving the me the site of www(dot)change(dot)org/petitions/fanfiction-net-stop-the-destruction-of-fanfiction-net we can hopefully put an end to this nonsense.

Now who's with me! Because I know these guys are with me and every author below this line after I copied and pasted them from the fifth rider of armeggedon.

INUYONAS (╯°□°)╯ ┻━┻ Who is table flipping mad...

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	44. THE RESULT

Everyone stared.

They could not believe their eyes or ears. What had just been explained to them was still processing.

Obito looked out at everyone from the stage of the ballroom with the edo tensei Madara right next to him. Obito was in his juubi form.

Hashirama senju, Tobirama Senju, Hiruzen Sarutobi, Minato Namikaze, Orochimaru and Kabuto had been brought back and were standing in front of the stage.

All of the dead shinobi had been brought back and were now all in the ballroom.

Everyone who was originally there were in their original seats.

A hand rose in the air amidst tthe silence.

Obito pointed at the person

"Yes what is your question?"

"...So when exactly does Neji die?" Sakura asked.

**Inner Neji: YOU MOTHER FUCKER! THROW A CHAIR AT THE BITCH OUTER NEJI!**

A chair was tossed violently at Sakura, breaking apart on contact. Unfortunately some of the pieces hit a rather angry Lee.

"Sakura! YOU DARE ATTACK MY YOUTH WITH A CHAIR? THIS SHALL NOT GO UNPUNISHED!"

Sakura was violently kicked away from the table.

and yet again Unfortunately crashed into Edo Madara.

And it just so happens that Madara was not too fond of the color pink. Needless to say that isn't good.

A full powered Rinnegan enhanced Susanoo was activated in mili-seconds.

All hell broke loose after that...

* * *

**AN- I'M BACK! I KNOW IT'S BEEN A WHILE! BUT IM BACK NOW! MY OTHER FICS SHALL BE UPDATED SOON ASWELL. THIS WAS JUST A TEASER TO SHOW I'M BACK.**


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